11/08/2009 03:55 pm ET Updated May 25, 2011

Goldman Sachs: Man Bites Dog, Americans Bleed

(Rooters) Washington D.C.

Man Bites Dog!

In a bold-faced brazen move against their master, on Friday the Obama administration rejected a proposal by Goldman Sachs to buy as much as $1 billion in tax credits from Fannie Mae, saying the deal would have amounted to a net loss for taxpayers.

"It is our view that the proposed sale would result in a loss of aggregate tax revenues that would be greater than the savings," said an administration official who was hurriedly moving his family under the FBI's witness protection program.

Goldman Sachs had proposed to pay cash for Fannie Mae's tax credits, which are tied to investments in affordable housing. The government-controlled mortgage-finance company cannot use any credits, because its losses have wiped out any tax liability for the foreseeable future.

Goldman executives had argued that the deal would provide much-needed capital to Fannie Mae, which it could use to finance additional low-income housing. Goldman could then re-package and short these future-foreclosures providing new securities to sell to the two remaining competitors it has been unable to take down.

"We just don't understand the government's opposition to Goldman making money" said a Spectre spokesman on behalf of their wholly-owned subsidiary. "Don't they know who we are?"