(Reuterz: West Point, NY)
Speaking before a fully-packed audience of uniformed mandatory attendees, President Obama announced that he will deploy 30,000 additional US troops to Afghanistan, promising to bring them home just in time to vote in the next presidential election.
A White House spokesperson said "Bringing troops home always plays well with the voters, but in order to do that, we need to send them somewhere first."
The deployment is estimated to cost taxpayers $30 Billion -- roughly the same as bailing out Goldman Sachs.
Citing the 9/11 attacks, The President emphasized that winning in Afghanistan is absolutely crucial if we are "to learn from the lessons history has taught us."
Apparently not his best subject, Mr. Obama failed to mention that history also teaches us that everyone who has tried this before -- including the Russians, the British, the Ottomans, Alexander The Great, and Genghis Khan- all failed miserably.