(Reuterz Office of Homeland Security)
Janet Napolitano, the Rubenesque Secretary of Homeland Security, confirmed that "the truth" and its accomplice, "taking responsibility" have been successfully detained following a Nigerian's attempt to blow up a passenger plane with his underwear.
Appearing on ABC's This Week Without George Stephanopoulos, White House spokesman Robert Gibbs confirmed that the alleged bomber was able to board the flight despite being on the terrorist watch list.
"Everything worked just as it should" said Gibbs. "We are now looking into additional diversions to avoid answering any questions related to this matter, preferring to divert public interest to health care reform. We will continue to place our focus on your grandma both in Congress and at airport security lines."
In a related story, the TSA announced that passengers will now be required to wear their underwear on the outside, and may be instituting other of Mel Brooks' suggestions.