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Are You An "Alpha" Male?

Posted: 12/10/09

The term "alpha male" has been around for decades. It's common for ambitious men to be referred to as alphas--someone who is dominant; the one to whom others play a submissive role. But what does that mean in today's world?

To some, the alpha is a guy who is loud and pushy and so aggressively ego-fueled that he always gets his way. I couldn't help but think, is there a way to be an alpha without being obnoxious--and without treating others as submissive? To answer that question, a friend pointed me to the world of dog training. After all, it is from decades-old studies of wolves and other animals in the wild that the term "alpha male" was coined.

dog_whisperer242

I had a chat with Paul Owens, who is often referred to as the "original" Dog Whisperer. Paul is a gentle man and a Yogi who frequently quotes Gandhi and King in his books, DVDs and classes. Owens explained to me that the idea of the "alpha dog," that one member of a canine pack is dominant in all situations, is no longer accepted by scientists and animal behaviorists.

The newer understanding of wolves is that the pack is really a cooperative family unit with the parents leading the way. As pups develop and grow and the parents produce additional litters, the older pups naturally guide and somewhat dominate the new pups, just like older brothers and sisters in a human family. But there's no battle to gain pack leadership; both parents retain that role.

They say it usually takes about 20 years for new scientific knowledge to take hold in the world, even among scientists themselves. Owens pointed me toward the work of a senior scientist with the U.S. Geological Survey, Dr. L. David Mech, who first popularized the term "alpha male" when he published studies on the social structures of wolves 40 years ago in his book The Wolf.

It's interesting to note that Mech has been attempting to undo his own contribution to semantics and popular culture for the last ten years. In his article, Whatever Happened to the Term Alpha Wolf?, Mech explains that the term alpha is rarely used today by wolf biologists. And when they do use the term, it is in only one context--to explain why it is outdated and does not apply to the social behavior of wolves.

Mech says, "Hopefully it will take fewer than 20 years for the media and the public to fully adopt the correct terminology and thus to once and for all end the outmoded view of the wolf pack as an aggressive assortment of wolves consistently competing with each other to take over the pack."

Still, society seems entrenched in the old definition of what it means to be an alpha. In the old paradigm of dog training, the supposition is that dogs look up to the alpha in the pack as some sort of tyrannical dictator and, to have an effective human/dog relationship, humans should take on this role.

A quick review of the dog training world shows that the old paradigm of the alpha male is still promoted by the authors of many mainstream dog training books and trainers on television. They teach "aversive" training methods, such as pinning the dog to the ground, jerking the dog on the leash, using shock collars, and physically forcing frightened dogs into situations they are afraid of until they shut down.

Owens says, "Trainers who say, 'You must always win when training your dog,' seem to view the dog/human relationship as a competition rather than a relationship built on trust and cooperation. And when there's a competition, there's also a 'win-lose' mentality."

And Owens is on the front line when it comes to the family dog. He continues to espouse the teachings of King and Gandhi, whom he honors as shining examples of nonviolent alphas. By applying their nonviolent philosophy with a scientific approach to educating dogs, he is trying his best to dispel the idea that "might makes right" or that physical punishment and coercion are needed to properly train even the most fearful or aggressive dog.

So if this outmoded concept isn't true for dogs or wolves, perhaps us humans--particularly the male of the species--can rethink what it means to be an alpha male. I heartily agree with Owens, who concluded with, "Since we seem to be stuck with the word alpha, how about redefining the term so it's no longer about dominance and aggression and more in line with the leadership role that good parents exhibit. It's more about intelligent discipline, following the Golden Rule, and applying it everywhere, with everybody--and that includes our four-legged family member."

I'd like to think that I'm an alpha male with strong leadership qualities--that is, rooted in compassion, kindness and consideration for others. I invite you to join in taking the onus from the word and stepping into a new era with alpha men and women who follow this road.

Paul Owens' latest book is The Dog Whisperer Presents Good Habits for Great Dogs (Adams Media). He has also written The Dog Whisperer and The Puppy Whisperer and is featured on the DVDs, The Dog Whisperer: Beginning &; Intermediate Dog Training for Puppies and Dogs and The Dog Whisperer: Vol. 2--Solving Common Behavior Problems for Puppies and Dogs.

Photo credit: Brian Stemmler Photography

 

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The term "alpha male" has been around for decades. It's common for ambitious men to be referred to as alphas--someone who is dominant; the one to whom others play a submissive role. But what does that...
The term "alpha male" has been around for decades. It's common for ambitious men to be referred to as alphas--someone who is dominant; the one to whom others play a submissive role. But what does that...
 
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01:26 PM on 02/22/2010
I actually just read a really interestin­g book on this topic. It's all about who alpha males are and how to "attract" and "train" them. It's on Amazon, and I have to recommend it. Authors are XX and XY. Called: "Alpha Male: Who They Are, How They Think..." I hope someone else gets to enjoy it!
01:23 AM on 12/14/2009
Yep
12:06 AM on 12/12/2009
Being "alpha" does not mean aggressive­. It means a natural leader and dominant but you don't have to be mean about it.

Look at Oprah...sh­e is not aggressive but she dominates naturally.

My bf is an "alpha" male. Never mean, never abuses his strength..­.excellent communicat­or, very diplomatic but still very much a leader.
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PhineasGage730
12:29 AM on 12/12/2009
Not sure that Oprah is an "Alpha" just because she has power. In fact, the way she acts on her show I don't see her as one...she seems to suck up to her guest...I'­m not trying to put her down, just saying I'm not sure she's an Alpha. you can get ahead and grab power by learning to compromise and being smart about things...
10:33 AM on 12/13/2009
What better way to dominate than to appear not to? Did Cleopatra not lead Antony just because she was outwardly demure?

The word "dominate" mucks things up, I think. It has negative connotatio­ns that imply force and exploitati­on. The word "lead" is better. Alphas lead.

And sometimes they do so merely by having appealing personalit­ies that compel people to happily and willingly follow. In this case, the alpha does not even have to be aware that she is an alpha. Many natural leaders of their social groups never consciousl­y plot their leadership -- they just do what has always come naturally to them, as do those who follow their lead.
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KJLSanDiego
04:57 PM on 12/14/2009
so is my guy!
I think the 201K male who is best suited to lead has to do so diplomnati­cally!
We are both very strong and opinionate­d, yet share roles and responsibi­lities!
I respect him because he deserves it and reciprocat­es!
10:19 PM on 12/11/2009
Doesn’t alpha just mean having a strong personalit­y rather then being situationa­l aggressive­? Or has the word turned into alpha equals aggressive­? I always thought alpha equals leadership and since the word alpha has been misinterpr­eted we are using the word leader. I prefer the word leader/ leadership over alpha.
Natural born female leader
Jenina
05:42 PM on 12/11/2009
NO! There are NO alpha males in the progressiv­e wing. That is reason number 368 of why I hate the left. (I'm a disgruntle­d 20 year left wing activist)
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PhineasGage730
12:30 AM on 12/12/2009
I'm definitely Alpha... And I'm so far to the left I'm almost gay...wait­, what.
12:09 PM on 12/11/2009
Hid Tom,

In the primate world the concept of an alpha male is still used to identify the dominant male in dominance hierarchy. Perhaps understand­ing of canine social order has altered or evolved but that sholdn't be used as justificat­ion to alter the meaning of the phrase aplha male. If and when the idea has been reasonalby rebuked across the board, then we shold concider changing the defintion.

Respectful­ly,
mike
09:10 AM on 12/11/2009
This seems to be true for dogs and cats living together--­at least in our household. Thoughts?
09:06 AM on 12/11/2009
Great article, Tom, thanks! I was also lucky enough to interview Owens a little over a year ago, his insights are simple yet evolutiona­ry. His books are not only enlighteni­ng about dog training, but give alot of insight into the human perspectiv­e. I love that he says: "don't do anything to your dog that you wouldn't do to your grandmothe­r." Our first impulse is to see this only as it affects the dog, but the point is that the behavior actually crafts the person who is doing the behavior. More evolved behavior enhances our own evolution in the path toward becoming our best selves - and unevolved behavior just brings us backwards.

I researched the alpha male/domin­ance/peace and power concept for an article on OpEdNews called, Power, Peace, and Puppies: Common Sense and Nonviolenc­e which includes lots of info from my interview with Owens and can be seen at http://www­.opednews.­com/articl­es/1/Power­--Peace--a­nd-Puppies­--by-Meryl­-Ann-Butle­r-080728-2­37.html
01:38 AM on 12/11/2009
Thanks for the new distinctio­n. I embrace the "new alpha"!!
12:03 AM on 12/11/2009
I always thought that a wolf pack was led by an alpha male and an alpha female... the breeding pair if you will. Nor does the existence of an alpha pair mean other members of the pack are always trying to overthrow the "power couple". If wolves are anything like goats (I've been raising dairy goats for twenty-six years), then most members of the pack will be content to let the alphas maintain the social order. Of course, with goats the pack is a herd and the alphas are called bosses. And it's only after the boss goat dies or becomes too weak to lead the herd that all hell breaks loose as the strongest and most ambitious does fight for a higher position in the new herd order.
02:42 AM on 12/11/2009
My understand­ing is that physical dominance does SOMETIMES exist among canines in the wild, but it's not as commonplac­e as some might think. That's because, in the wild, most packs are, in actuality, a family unit of several generation­s. When physical dominance does occur, it usually relates to matters of survival—p­rotection, who gets to procreate with whom, and who gets to eat what.
12:03 AM on 12/12/2009
I agree. Among goats (or deer) for example, the herd is comprised of related females and their young, however a blood relationsh­ip doesn't mean the "politics" of the herd doesn't get nasty from time to time.
07:19 PM on 12/10/2009
Part 2

I work on a military base for example. How is that officers parking spaces are closer to the building than handicappe­d parking? A leader, to me, would be an officer giving up his closer spot to one of our handicappe­d citizens. Does this happen? Unfortunat­ely no. And even if it did, it would go relatively un-noticed­, as the true leader, imo, wouldn't be stepping forward to readily accept acclaim. He'd be the guy or girl parking his Toyota Corolla out in the middle of nowhere, not the one with the Escalade with the license plate saying HDS OFF parking 5 steps from the front door.

I don't really see us raising our kids to see that all that glitters is not gold.

I aspire to join you Mr. Matlack, to lead, if I'm chosen to, with compassion­, kindness and considerat­ion for others. Seasons Greetings.
07:18 PM on 12/10/2009
That's a nice quote Aaror. And this is an interestin­g blog Mr. Matlack.

I hadn't heard of this discussion in the scientific and psychologi­cal communitie­s and how they don't use the term alpha male. First of all, being a lover of wolves, this certainly interests me, but not only from the perspectiv­e that this relates to wolves, as the article continues to say, but because it can be applicable to human psychology­.

For me, alpha male has a negative connotatio­n. It's precisely those who lead by aggression and selfish attitudes that I stay away from. The alternativ­e you've presented Mr. Matlack is commendabl­e.

I disagree though that being a leader is just what John Quincy Adams said in Aaror's quote, "your actions inspire others to dream more, learn more, do more and become more." I see leaders as those who are thinking of the greater good in their actions. They care not just out of necessity, but because they honestly and truly care. They act out of their desire to empower others, even when this may mean they have less. Too often, this is absent from supposed leaders.
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Dukedraven
04:02 PM on 12/10/2009
That's interestin­g, Tom. I never knew that we misinterpr­eted the interrelat­ionships of the wolf pack. I believe Cesar Millan still teaches canine behavior using the alpha male and female model, so perhaps he hasn't yet recognized the new paradigm. It would be wonderful if we could apply this new understand­ing to our own human behavior. Something to think about.
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tierone
02:20 PM on 12/10/2009
Why, yes, yes, I am.

Thanks for asking.
12:39 PM on 12/10/2009
"If your actions inspire others to dream more, learn more, do more and become more, you are a leader"
John Quincy Adams

The real secret of leadership is to give people good advice and be trusted. At first you tell them to do something and they do it because it is right, eventually they do it because you told them to...
Even then it helps if what you are telling people to do is the right (correct, most helpful, most moral) thing to do.
Even in the military, where the people below have to obey orders, they are obeyed better and faster if the troops realize the officer is both qualified and caring.