03/18/2010 05:12 am ET Updated May 25, 2011

Top Ten Things Dave Should Have Done Differently With Female Staffers


10. Ran for President

9. Translated The Good Men Project: Real Stories From the Front Lines of Modern Manhood into pig Latin

8. Used his Cash Cab shout out to call Spitzer

7. Refused to take the Viagra

6. Asked the dads of the young ladies for permission

5. Gotten on his desk to shout, "Look I'm the age of your grandfather; I have no hair and a tiny dick!"

4. Called a Catholic priest for advice

3. Let his nose hair grow disgustingly long

2. Got on his knees and pray, "God get these beautiful girls AWAY!"

1. Called Monica to do an intervention