iOS app Android app

Tom McNichol
GET UPDATES FROM Tom McNichol

Entries by Tom McNichol

A Visit to the Chatty Dentist

(0) Comments | Posted April 23, 2013 | 7:39 PM

Hi, come on in and sit down. How have you been? It's been awhile since I've seen you. More than six months, I'd guess. Didn't I say, "See you in six months" the last time you were here? I guess you didn't hear that. I'm sure I said it. No...

Read Post

Crazy on You

(1) Comments | Posted April 17, 2013 | 7:20 PM

DSM-V, the fifth edition of the American Psychiatric Association's Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, is due for publication in May. Here's a sneak preview of some new mental disorder categories:

Asshole Driver Disorder
A pervasive pattern of grandiosity (in fantasy or behavior), need for admiration, and...

Read Post

The Gospel of Mrs. Jesus

(4) Comments | Posted September 27, 2012 | 1:21 PM

A historian of early Christianity at Harvard Divinity School has identified a papyrus fragment in Coptic that she says contains the first known statement saying explicitly that Jesus was married. --The NY Times

And it came to pass that Jesus returned to his hometown of Nazareth, and his disciples followed...

Read Post

Misspoke

(2) Comments | Posted September 24, 2012 | 4:10 PM

First, I want to offer my sincere apologies to the voters of my district and to anyone who's seen the YouTube clip of me that unfortunately seems to have gone viral.

In a setting I thought was private, I used the wrong words in the wrong way. I meant to...

Read Post

Who Should We Attack Next?

(17) Comments | Posted March 23, 2011 | 7:19 PM

The air strikes on Libya bring us to a stark truth: The United States is now fighting three wars simultaneously. But why stop at three when we have the world's largest and most expensive military? Here are some of the countries just asking to be attacked:

Yemen

Name of Attack:...

Read Post

I'm Fairly Certain That I, Too, Had an Affair With Tiger Woods

(0) Comments | Posted December 8, 2009 | 4:11 PM

Airing dirty laundry in public is never pleasant. That’s why most people own washing machines. But sometimes, there’s no other option. That’s why I’ve decided to stand in the cold light of truth and admit to the world that I’m fairly certain that I, too, had an affair with Tiger...

Read Post

Nation's Top Polluters: We're Green Too!

(1) Comments | Posted November 2, 2009 | 11:29 AM

Researchers at the University of Massachusetts compile an annual list known as the Toxic 100, which ranks the top corporate air polluters in the United States. According to the latest Toxic 100 rankings, the five worst air polluters in the country are (in order) DuPont, Archer...

Read Post

The Story of Creation (via Twitter)

(5) Comments | Posted September 24, 2009 | 3:06 PM

Day One

Let there B-lite. OMG! Or shld I say Oh Me! It’s so much easier 2-C now. WTF was I thinking B4? Spent the rest of the day dividing lite from drkness. It is good. :-)

Day Two

Made a firmament (sort of a dome thing) to divide the...

Read Post

Great Moments in Literature Presented by Twitter (Limit 140 Characters Including Spaces)

(4) Comments | Posted May 7, 2009 | 6:58 PM

Call me Ishmael. Some years ago - never mind how long precisely - having little or no money in my purse, and nothing particular to interest


It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of wisdom, it was the...

Read Post

FAQ: The Digital TV Transition

(2) Comments | Posted February 1, 2009 | 1:33 PM

What is this "digital television transition" I keep hearing about?
At midnight on February 17, 2009, all full-power television stations in the United States will stop broadcasting in analog and switch to 100% digital broadcasting.

Why are we switching to digital TV?
Digital broadcasting will provide a...

Read Post

The Last Story About a Failed Financial Institution You'll Ever Have to Read

(3) Comments | Posted January 12, 2009 | 6:48 PM

Only 12 months ago, the future seemed bright indeed for [failed financial institution - hereafter known as "The Firm"]. In December 2007, when The Firm's President and CEO Scott MacKenzie addressed a banquet room packed with some of the nation's top investors and financial analysts, there was little hint of...

Read Post

The Tao of the Dow

(1) Comments | Posted November 13, 2008 | 3:31 PM

I
The Dow that can be named
is not the eternal Dow
It is the Industrial Average
All things arise from the Dow
The S&P 500, the Russell 2000,
the Wiltshire 5000
It is the Great Mother of all indexes


...

Read Post

McCain Victory: Fat Chance

(2) Comments | Posted November 3, 2008 | 11:56 AM

The margin of Barack Obama's electoral victory caught some pundits by surprise. But Obama's win was ensured when McCain failed to connect with voters outside of his core constituency: obese America.

Compare the red/blue electoral map of the Obama-McCain contest with the eerily similar map charting obesity in the...

Read Post

My Nigerian Email Scam

(5) Comments | Posted October 29, 2008 | 1:59 PM

AN URGENT EMAIL TO MY ESTEEMED FRIEND IN NIGERIA

Dear MR. HAJIA MARIAM ABACHA,

First, 1,000 apologies for not responding to the valued emails you've sent me in the past. I much wanted to reply to your CONFIDENTIAL financial proposition, but I've been busy with a deal of my own,...

Read Post

The Poetry of Sarah Palin

(29) Comments | Posted October 27, 2008 | 2:34 PM

While the media elite have showered praise on the "poetry" of Barack Obama, they've conspicuously ignored the true bard of the presidential race: Sarah Palin. The Alaska governor's campaign pronouncements have consistently demonstrated a fragile Haiku-like quality that have often challenged the listener to explore not only the subject at...

Read Post

Season of the Boo-birds

(2) Comments | Posted October 23, 2008 | 1:59 PM

The Philadelphia Phillies are in the World Series and global financial markets are in utter chaos. You might think these are unrelated events, but they're not.

The fact is, worldwide markets go into a worldwide panic about as often as Philadelphia sports teams win championships. Trust me, I've been...

Read Post

God and Baseball

(5) Comments | Posted November 8, 2007 | 11:20 AM

It's always sad when the baseball season comes to a close. During the long winter months that loom ahead, we won't get to see a single baseball player point to the sky after a successful at-bat or pitch.

The point-to-the-sky motion quickly has become baseball's signature celebratory gesture, sort...

Read Post