I'm the opening act on Jim Gaffigan's The 2013 White Bread Tour. We are on a 16-city tour of the South.
Okay, I'm writing this post into my phone from the drivers seat of my rental car. I've been on the road for a few days now and it's time for an observation: This country is huge. Some of these states seem a lot smaller on a map! I understand I'm on a tour of The United States of America -- I'm supposed to be seeing all sorts of interesting things like Civil War battlefields, etc. But I don't have time to do any of that. I'm spending my time on the interstate highways, and it's impossible to stress how important a good cup of coffee is, and how inadequate the brew is in most of these United States. A note to all my friends -- you seem to think there are too many Starbucks in this country but I'll tell you there are definitely too few.