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Tony Hsieh

Tony Hsieh

Posted: January 5, 2011 01:30 PM

From Delivering Happiness: A Path to Passion, Profits and Purpose by Tony Hsieh.

I personally really dislike "business networking" events. At almost every one of these events, it seems like the goal is to walk around and find people to trade business cards with, with the hope of meeting someone who can help you out in business and in exchange you can help that person out somehow. I generally try to avoid those types of events, and I rarely carry any business cards around with me.

Instead, I really prefer to focus on just building relationships and getting to know people as just people, regardless of their position in the business world or even if they're not from the business world. I believe that there's something interesting about anyone and everyone -- you just have to figure out what that something is. If anything, I've found that it's more interesting to build relationships with people that are not in the business world because they almost always can offer unique perspectives and insights, and also because those relationships tend to be more genuine.

If you are able to figure out how to be truly interested in someone you meet, with the goal of building up a friendship instead of trying to get something out of that person, the funny thing is that almost always, something happens later down the line that ends up benefiting either your business or yourself personally.

I don't really know why this happens or why it works, but it seems that the benefit from getting to know someone on a personal level usually happens 2-3 years after you started working on building the relationship. And it's usually something that you could not have possibly predicted would have happened at the beginning of the relationship. For example, maybe your friend's sister's neighbor was just hired as the VP of a company that you've been trying to get in touch with, or maybe someone you met 2 years ago now has a new tennis partner who would be the perfect person for that job opening you've been trying to fill for the past 6 months.

Zappos.com has been around for over 10 years now. We grew from no sales in 1999 to over $1 billion in gross merchandise sales in 2008. In looking back at the major turning points in the history of the company, it seems that most of them were the result of pure luck. Things happened that we could not have possibly predicted, but they were the result of relationships that we had started building 2-3 years earlier.

So my advice is to stop trying to "network" in the traditional business sense, and instead just try to build up the number and depth of your friendships, where the friendship itself is its own reward. The more diverse your set of friendships are, the more likely you'll derive both personal and business benefits from your friendships later down the road. You won't know exactly what those benefits will be, but if your friendships are genuine, those benefits will magically appear 2-3 years later down the road.

 
 
 

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From Delivering Happiness: A Path to Passion, Profits and Purpose by Tony Hsieh. I personally really dislike "business networking" events. At almost every one of these events, it seems like the goal ...
From Delivering Happiness: A Path to Passion, Profits and Purpose by Tony Hsieh. I personally really dislike "business networking" events. At almost every one of these events, it seems like the goal ...
 
 
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03:39 PM on 01/24/2011
So true! I hate 'networking' events too and for the past several years people thought I was crazy. I teach my agents (real estate) to build meaningful relationships with others they like/share interests with, etc and see what happens! Magic!! :)
http://capecoralrealestatecareer.blogspot.com/2010/08/your-sphere-of-influence.html
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Alison Richards
Writer, Teacher, Blog Junkie
03:59 PM on 01/18/2011
Bang on, friendships vs. networking worth investing time! Things come full circle, people I meet in random situations from near and far magically present themselves years later as solutions to my needs. Not to mention being blessed by surrounding myself with totally cool peeps!
08:22 PM on 01/10/2011
Quite well put--attempting to "network"--or climb the social ladder is something that becomes so apparent when you go through the motions and really seem to be the quick road to success. On the other hand, being real and authentic--two intangible qualities that will always get you ahead since they engage the human element that we all share in and long for.

www.simplifythis.com
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Pippilangstrumpf
09:38 AM on 01/06/2011
FINALLY!! Someone said it!!
I roll my eyes about people I know who have over a thousand Linkedin 'contacts'...it's ridiculous.
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02:24 AM on 01/06/2011
To bad Americans refuse to hire friends. Maybe you are different. I was jobless for a year and half out of college and not one of my friends offered to help me, one did but never followed up. Americans have a huge risk aversion and rather keep a friends than help a friend out and risk something going wrong.

Right now i am Thailand and this is the complete opposite, My wifes family and a few thai friends i have made offer us jobs or to help me find a job on a regular basis, to bad we have decided Thailand is a nice place to vist but not to live. Americans just don't want to help each other out.
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UberdanSounds
I make music(al), funnies.
12:15 PM on 01/10/2011
I've had the same experience with my so called "friends".
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jdoeremi
The gentlest gamester is the soonest winner
10:49 PM on 01/05/2011
Your phrase - don't network, build relationships - seems to have wisdom behind it that has not been revealed to me until this very moment. I can readily see why you left Microsoft to fulfill your destiny - whatever that is.
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Marilyn Hemingway
On a lifelong adventure
09:25 PM on 01/05/2011
good advice
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slaxx
08:19 PM on 01/05/2011
Who are you really going to refer? Someone you know or someone who you met for three seconds who just threw a business card at you?
05:10 PM on 01/05/2011
Networking is one of the main purpose of Social Media.. Twitter do it best.. Facebook used to be good, but somehow they are getting worst with restrictions!

Charles Baratta
http://www.merchantloans.com
04:06 PM on 01/05/2011
Good, straightforward advice. Friendships should be their own reward. If professional opportunities come out of them, so much the better.
03:52 PM on 01/05/2011
"..that there's something interesting about anyone and everyone -- you just have to figure out what that something is. " very well said
03:08 PM on 01/05/2011
You are so right. Networking is about building a relationship and it needs to be a 2 way street. Many relationship/friendships that I developed years ago have helped me immensely in business. I never went in trying to see what I could out of them
http://www.sales-training-for-business.com/index.html
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UberdanSounds
I make music(al), funnies.
04:18 PM on 01/05/2011
Hey great site with a lotta tips! Thanks I'm gonna apply these in my music licensing business.