01/28/2008 09:20 am ET Updated May 25, 2011

Democrats, The Fault Lies Not In Our (Media Pundit) Stars, But In Ourselves

When I started HuffPosting last year, I swore to myself that I'd never write about politics. There are more than enough bloggers who do so capably -- why bother to inject myself into the mix? Besides, I had other fish to fry. Arianna & Co. signed me on to write about the music biz, not the president-making biz.

But seriously, what kind of Kool-Aid are we Democrats drinking to think that Barack Obama or Hillary Clinton have a snowball's chance in heck of being elected president this November?!

It's like the DNC had a secret meeting and said "It's gonna be awful tough to lose in '08, what with the entire country hating the Republicans and all. We'd better nominate a black guy. Or a woman. Or have a black guy and a woman run against each other! Yeah, that should seal the deal."

Don't get me wrong, I believe a non-white non-male can get elected to the highest office in the land. If he or she is Republican, that is. Republicans are good at getting people elected. If you run a female or minority Democrat, on the other hand, all the closet racists and sexists who come out from under their rocks to increase turnout for the GOP can explain their votes away by saying "It didn't have anything to do with race and/or gender. He/she was just too liberal."

We're talking about a political party that hasn't gotten a majority of the electorate in a presidential election since LBJ in 1964, for cryin' out loud. This is a party whose 2004 nominee let the biggest issue of the campaign become, not the disastrous war in Iraq or Halliburton or the fact that the Bush administration had done nothing but lie and dissemble and curtail our civil liberties since 9/11, but whether or not John Kerry shot himself in the ass in Vietnam in 1969. And we think we can get a black man or a woman elected?!

I see a lot of people blaming the media's lack of coverage for the fact that the seemingly electable John Edwards is running a distant third in the Race To Lose '08. But you know what? Nobody put a gun to the heads of Democratic voters in South Carolina or Nevada or New Hampshire or Iowa and forced them to not vote for the guy. We're blowing this election all by ourselves, kids.

And while we're busy patting ourselves on the backs for being so progressive, let's also remember that the party's two front-runners are not just a black man and a woman. They're a black man with barely any political experience on a national level, who's, what, 12 years old or something? And a woman who's the most hated person in America by a good chunk of the electorate, and possibly the most polarizing figure since Eleanor Roosevelt -- another great woman who couldn't have been elected Prez.

I will be proud -- honored, even -- to pull the lever (or push a button, if they replace our reliable antiquated voting machines with non-tamper-proof computerized gizmos by November) for either Barack or Hillary this Election Day, but I have no illusion that I'll be celebrating a victory by either that evening. The only chance we have is if Mitt Romney gets the Republican nomination. Seeing the evangelical far-right have to choose between a black man or a woman and a Mormon, now THAT would be a hoot.