The Election Detection Kit: 10 Ways to Catch Someone Lying about Voting

My name is Tony. I'm a citizen. And I've lied about voting. I'm not proud of it. But I'm also ready to do something about it. So, this time around, I voted early. And, just like former hackers who go on to help catch other hackers, I'm going to give you 10 ways to bust someone who is lying about voting.
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Tony Diaz, El Librotraficante, with Jose Rivera from Neighborhood Centers, Inc. who provided a van to drive students from the Latin American Student Organization (LASO) at Lone Star College-North Harris to an early voting site in Houston, Texas.

My name is Tony. I'm a citizen. And I've lied about voting.

I'm not proud of it. But I'm also ready to do something about it.

So, this time around, I voted early. And, just like former hackers who go on to help catch other hackers, I'm going to give you 10 ways to bust someone who is lying about voting.

But before I give you the list, I want you to know that this is truly a vital time to vote.

Voto Latino reported that there were 2 million Latinos in Texas eligible to vote but who had not registered.

Worse, The Texas Tribune reported that Republicans knew that over 500,000 registered voters in Texas didn't have the credentials to comply with the new voter ID law, yet, they pushed hard to implement the law.

Lastly, Politico recently ran a piece titled "Hispanics Won't Turn Texas Blue." These types of essays are intended to convince Latinos that their vote does not matter.

Which, then makes it clear to me that it does.

And I am not about to self-disenfranchise.

Finally, I caught a beautiful, brilliant friend of mine lying about voting. She shall remain nameless, as long as she does finally vote.

Here then are:

10 Ways to Catch Someone Lying About Voting

1. Show me the Ballot Stub: This is the easiest way to prove it. So after you vote, keep the printed stub they hand you. My friend tried to say she threw it away. But I noticed that in her glove compartment she still had a ticket for the cleaners from a month before and an expired coupon for the pharmacy. The only reason that ballot was not rolling around in her car was because she didn't vote. (I've included a picture of mine.)

2. Where did ya vote? Texas has early voting, but you still have to find the place. So ask your friends where they voted, if they pause, they are lying or they have something very, very wrong with their short-term memory.

3. Location Exploration: After your friend tells you he voted, ask him right away, "That's crazy that there's a pawnshop next to the voting place."(Insert other preposterous edifice here.) If he agrees, he's lying.

4. Proposition 3838: Ask your friend if she voted for proposition 3838. If you voted, you'll know that it doesn't exist. (Substitute any other series of numbers to suit your fancy.) This also proves she doesn't read Huffington Post Latino Voices. Tell her to do so, after the elections.

5. All of a Sudden You're a Researcher: Once you've cornered an apathetic registered voter, he might say, I haven't voted yet because I have to look up the issues and the candidates. He has self-imposed an intellectual poll tax. You know he's never conducted research, yet all of a sudden he wants to complete all the assignments he skipped when he squeaked through Composition II. He won't. Guide him to the info, tell him to skip the races he doesn't get, but get him to vote.

6. All of a Sudden You're an Activist: Or your friend might say that she doesn't believe voting matters because all politicians are crooked. You know home girl has never been in a protest and has never even written a letter to a senator, but all of a sudden she's taking political stands. This is a twisted protest. Tell her she should step into the booth. Tell her how many posts for judgeships were unopposed. Tell her about any propositions up for vote. In northeast Houston, there's a proposition for a bond to open a community college in the heart of the barrio. Voting on an issue like that would not require her to cross her imaginary picket line against politicians, and she can learn more about the process and the issues at stake.

7. Don't Ban Mexican American Studies: Remind your friends and family that Arizona Banned Mexican American Studies in order to comply with the law-House Bill 2281, which was influenced by the Superintendent of Education-an elected official; which was voted to be enforced by Tucson School Board Members-who were elected officials, which was signed into law by Governor Jan Brewer-an elected official. If you don't vote, and if the next Jan Brewer rises to power in your district, you voted for her by not voting and preventing her from happening.

8. Don't Self-Disenfranchise: If you can't vote because you're too young or if you're a permanent resident, you still have freedom of speech. You can inspire citizens to vote with your awareness of issues. You can impress them by giving them information on where to vote, or by busting them for not voting.

9. Did you vote for Julián Castro for HUD?: (One last trick.) If your friend says he voted, ask him right away, if he voted for Castro. If he says, yes he did, or if he explains why he did not-you're friend did not vote. Neither Julián nor Joaquin Castro are on the ballot. Also, Julián Castro was appointed to HUD-already. If you have any more tactics to share, please send them in, or post them in the comments.

10. Inspire Citizens to Vote Early: Shame them into Voting on Election Day. It's now or never.

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Tony Diaz, El Librotraficante, with proof he voted early.

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