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Mother Knows Best

Posted: 05/12/2012 11:05 am

What's the best advice you ever received from your mother? My mom taught me to be optimistic, compassionate and that family comes first. The Tory Blog asked several people, from Susan Sarandon and David Netto to Dree Hemingway, for their mothers' best advice. Their answers and memories only reinforce the idea that mother really does know best, whether it's how to make a guest feel welcome or inspiring a desire to discover the world.

Karen Finerman, a contributor on CNBC's Fast Money, CEO of Metropolitan Capital Advisors, Inc. AND a mother of two sets of twins, shared a powerful (and empowering) lesson she and her three sisters learned from their mom. Women need to be in control of their own finances. It's something I didn't learn until I was older and already a mother myself. It's something every girl should understand at an early age. Here is what Karen shared with us:

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"My mother's message about money to her four daughters was unconventional at the time: You must make your own. As a stay-at-home mom, it was clear she felt her own limitations by not having an independent source of income. She made it known to me from an early age that there was no other way: You must take control of your financial future and be able to support yourself.

In other areas, my sisters and I didn't always heed her advice. Case in point: "When you're getting your hair colored, get it really blonde; it doesn't cost more." On the topic of money and self-sufficiency, however, we got the message.

This leads me to what I want to convey to you -- mothers and daughters alike: Money equals empowerment. So often I see women who are only too eager to surrender control of their finances. You would never let someone else decide where you live, where you send your kids to school or how you vote. So why would you relinquish your financial power when it touches nearly every aspect of your life?

At some point in their lives, 90 percent of women become responsible for their finances. So being comfortable managing your money is not just important; it's compulsory.

Remember, ladies: Men are not born with an inherent understanding of finance any more than women are (even if they pretend to be). They just know they can't get away with ignoring it.

In order to be financially fit, there are some rules to live by: You always need a budget; you always need to have some money saved; and I want you to always have some money invested.
I don't just mean set aside in a savings account. I want you to learn about investing. Take a small amount of money, buy a stock or a few stocks and follow the stock price. Do your best to learn about the companies you invest in. A good place to begin is by reading their annual reports starting with CEO's letter to shareholders where he or she will describe the business, the company's goals and its performance over the past year.

If you don't feel comfortable picking a stock, that's fine. You can start with a mutual fund. There are lots of good funds out there.

For younger women especially, the experience of investing will teach valuable life lessons. You will learn the concept of risk and diversification. You may experience the pain of loss and the joy of gain. And you will learn that you can never have all your eggs in one basket.

My husband and I advise our children to save some, invest some, give some to charity and spend some. We decide how much for each. It's up to you to decide the ratios for yourself.

Now let's look at the flip side of saving -- spending. Budget out how much you're going to spend on clothes, let's say, before you buy them. But remember that the instant gratification you feel from splurging on a new outfit or iPhone that you truly can't afford may be short-lived. Fashions change, but having your own money never goes out of style.

And when you live below your means and start to see your savings grow, it's a wonderful, empowering feeling you'll love.

(This is my first Mother's Day without my mother. I'll never forget what she taught me. Thank you, Mom, for the love -- and the curriculum -- that I want to pass along to my daughters and sons.)

For more from on Mother's Day, visit The Tory Blog.

 

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What's the best advice you ever received from your mother? My mom taught me to be optimistic, compassionate and that family comes first. The Tory Blog asked several people, from Susan Sarandon and Dav...
What's the best advice you ever received from your mother? My mom taught me to be optimistic, compassionate and that family comes first. The Tory Blog asked several people, from Susan Sarandon and Dav...
 
 
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05:58 PM on 05/13/2012
My mom taught me that men lie alot and it's true!
05:41 PM on 05/13/2012
Wow! Personal fiscal responsibility on Huffington Post. Bravo. What is going to happen next... an article on how Americans need to pay their debts and stop relying on the government for everything.
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Roses
In a gentle way, you can shake the world.
02:14 PM on 05/13/2012
My mom taught me to listen and to only give advice when it was asked for. Also patience.
Not through words, but through actions.
All three of my sisters agree that this was her greatest gift to us. All three of us are very 'talky' and antsy and agree that it is very hard to do, but oh so important.
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Briteleaf
12:33 PM on 05/13/2012
My mom told me to remember that this world is only a bus stop on the way elsewhere and not such a terrific bus stop.
06:51 PM on 05/12/2012
Awww..... Sorry about your mother..... It will be my mom's second mother's day without my grandmother but this year she won't be receiving a Mother's Day gift from me until Tuesday because of Toryburch.com's terrible customer service. I ordered her presents on May 2...... called customer service on May 8, 2012..... was given assurances that Tory Burch was well aware of the issues that they were currently experiencing with shipping and that it was Mother's Day...... I was told that my order was ready for shipment and it would me overnighted or 2 day expressed (whatever it took) to get it to me by May 11..... Well it was shipped standard on May 11; therefore, it won't be here until Tuesday...... Have a great mother's day!...... Hope you actually get a present on Mother's Day!!!!.... That would be nice!
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oldwolf49
Religion is a tool of the evil.
12:44 PM on 05/12/2012
My mother said to go out and see the world, never talked about money but she was married to an abusive greedy man. I didn't learn that from him but it seems both my ex-wives did somehow.
12:01 PM on 05/12/2012
Where I grew up the woman stayed home with the kids and the men worked. I always paid the bills and budgeted his paycheck. I would have left him if he tried to be selfish with his money. It was our money!

I have read a lot recently that women usually manage the money and investments.

I posted earlier but it disappeared.

It could be that some are born with the talent of dealing with money. I came from a big family and only one is extravagant. The rest are penny pinchers. I try to be in the middle- practical but not a penny pincher.
11:51 AM on 05/12/2012
My mother taught me how to manage money. She said you have to start when they are toddlers. She was a depression mother and still believed a penny was worth saving. The political leaders could take lessons from her. She was a very practical person. When she saw someone spending big bucks, she would say, "He has more money than sense."

She taught me to work around the house and I learned to be proud of my work.

I still miss her and she died 20 years ago.
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11:50 AM on 05/12/2012
Mom's traditional wisdom flies in the face of the new age liberal Keynesian economics that says prosperity is built not on saving or thrift, but on borrowing and spending.
12:07 PM on 05/12/2012
Mother didn't believe in owing debt. Interest was a no no. When we bought our first home, it was hard to convince her that it was better to pay interest instead of rent and at the end we would have paid enough principal that the house would be paid for. She realized I was right. Dad had a home with low rent furnished by his company so they were smart to live there and pay for their home.