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Tracey D. Smith Headshot

Charm School 101 for the College Student: "I Own You" Said the Bully!

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Shame on the bully that made you flinch, or brought fear into your happy heart without a hint of remorse. Shame on the bully that made you feel inadequate and squelched any sense of joy that you could experience. Do you know there are bullies that find a euphoric inebriation from intimidating others, may it be online or in person? These are the pitiful souls that need power and praise in an evil form in order for them to feel whole. What happened in their lives to make them desire and thirst to bring ill will on one that is less fortunate? What kind of gene pool do they derive from to be as menacing and demonic as a witch from Salem? Should they be afforded the luxury of wearing a velvet scarlet letter, like Hester Pryne? Shouldn't there be a surgeon general's warning slapped on their foreheads, to prepare students of this ludicrous form of play? This type of folly takes lives, ruins futures, shatters homes, crushes hearts and can leave scars that are irreparable. In my mind these twisted fools are comprised of the same genetic make-up of Hitler, the Bolsheviks, the Ku-Klux-Klan, the El Rukns and any other group who embraces hatred like a long lost lover. They live and love to hate. The hatred flows through their bloodstream like the many DNA that define them.

I have heard in less than two weeks of a teenager hanging themselves with the provocation of another. Upon hearing this news I instantaneously felt helpless and worried about my own child and remembered as fresh as the morning dew how she had been tormented by classmates relentlessly, solely due to her race. I would've gambled my last dime to protect her from the wrath of her bullies, and many times I worried about her safety or will to continue. The technology has changed like the speed of lightening, the array of gadgetry that lay at our fingers is truly a miracle, but please tread with caution; it is the first weapon of choice for the seasoned bully. There is a term coined "owning" which I had to learn the hard way. To be owned is when someone has cyber stalked you to the point of manipulating you to believe that if you don't obey their requests, they will destroy your hard drive with a virus, i.e. Trojan, and locate your whereabouts and take your life. What kind of human being would swoop into the lives of a happy teen and instill the fear that their home was about to be annihilated if there weren't a hint of cooperation? The teen must understand that emails with a hint of inflammatory jargon could be considered a threat and can be used as substantial evidence to local authorities, especially if IP addresses are traced. Unfortunately these devils are slicker than shea butter, usually quite intelligent and are capable of having numerous IP addresses which are most times untraceable. They simply unplug their wireless box, and get a new one reassigned to them, continue their vigilance and slip into the darkness like a sublime nightmare. Bullies should be referred to something more demeaning, i.e. spineless, Lucifer, sadists, Minotaurs, dragons, and any other term that they embody to the fullest. There is nothing human about these beasts, because every harmful act is carefully contrived.

The incessant need for the fulfillment of this perverse addiction that teeters on mental illness must be eradicated immediately before more lives are stolen. You do realize that a bully is obsessed with their subject, and they will go to an infinite degree to terrorize their prey. This can range from chilling text messages, as well as the "accidental" nudge while walking down the hall at school. It is always "hunting season" when you are the prey of a bully. They relish the harassment, and find glory in damning results. The adrenaline rush is better than striking oil. They feel as if they are "Storming the Normandy" when they wreak havoc on their intimidated victims. The impact is as powerful as the dropping of the atom bomb; the mushroom of destruction leads many to lives of dysfunction, and often times the inability to cope or form rich relationships. How many devious acts will take place to push another group of students into a Columbine Part II? I am not one for aiding and abetting violence, but survival seems to be the element that school administrators seem to turn a blind eye to. They honestly feel that group intervention, detentions, parental reprimand, or the sequestering of students will prevent any further occurrence. I found myself questioning the administration of my daughter's school, and threatening them with a liability suit in the event any harm came to her person. Bullies are criminals, and should be treated like a common felon wearing an orange jumpsuit. Theft is a crime, and when a bully has stolen joy, self-esteem, motivation, confidence, enhanced anxiety, depression, insomnia, and then I personally feel they are guilty as charged and deserve to do some serious time, or perhaps their parents or the administration for allowing it to occur. Trust me, the parents of a bully knows their child's personality. They knew they had a "stick of dynamite" when the first grade teacher called to inform them their child had been suspended for fighting. They know their tendencies and habits, because they have watched them morph into a terrorizing "Grinch", which is why they are taking meds to control their anger, mania, ADD, or any other behavioral indications they present. Do you honestly believe that the parents are oblivious to what extreme their maniacal little beasts will reach? Do you believe there has been only one victim? The parents become very good friends with the deans, and the police department, because these kinds of children are marauders and will do anything that remotely resembles evil. When there is a putrid sense of hatred that flows through a bully's bloodstream as well as the lack of regard for authority, it is understood that an off-site incident is eminent, then what? Will it be too late? Was it too late for the student at Rutgers University? Should a student be trained in martial arts or be a skilled marksman? Should the gun license age requirements be lowered for self-defense? As parents, do we trust that our children are safe at their university from the danger and perils of a bully? Now what??!! Who has the answers??!!!

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