Huffpost Comedy
The Blog

Featuring fresh takes and real-time analysis from HuffPost's signature lineup of contributors

Tracey Stewart Headshot

Heaven Help Me Holiday Bingo

Posted: Updated:

2012-12-20-cd98054eb961c490fb53a7ad43defa408e056d22.jpg

Holiday family get-togethers don't have to be stressful... say people who know nothing. They are stressful! This year, make the most of the impending storm with "Heaven Help Me Holiday Bingo," the holiday game that no one else knows you're playing!

Print your bingo card, fill out the grid, dig out some buttons or poker chips and be discreet! Now instead of getting frustrated when a guest does something annoying, you can rejoice in being that much closer to winning!! Best of luck, we're rooting for you!

Here are some things we put on your grid, just to get you inspired:

• Aunt Dorothea asks if you've had work done again.
• Your sister tells your husband he's losing his hair.
• Uncle Bill tells you he loves you after drinking too much.
• Mother is passive aggressive to your mother-in-law.
• Your mother-in-law is passive aggressive to your mother.
• Aunt Claire tells you she likes it when you wear your hair a different way.
• The kids proclaim "this is the worst Christmas EVER!"
• Your parents arrive full of complaints. They got lost again.
• Mother flirts with your father-in-law.
• Aunt Ginny gets frustrated with your kids for not being more fascinated by her.
• Your kids blurt out that they already have a gift that a well-meaning relative gave.
• Your child becomes sullen because another child is playing with their new toy.
• Mom's drunk/Auntie's drunk/Grandma's drunk.
• Dad's drunk/Uncle's drunk/Grandpa's drunk.
• Failed attempt to not stare at... Sister-In-Law's boob job.
• I Forgot... that Uncle is allergic to chocolate and gave him chocolate as a gift!
• Free Space: You love these crazy folk. You may catch one of them playing Heaven Help Me Holiday Bingo as well. Is something you do on their list?

Click here to download your own blank card!

Did we convince you to play this holiday season? Comment below or go to our Facebook page to let us know what statements you are adding to your grid!

This piece originally appeared in Moomah The Magazine. Follow Moomah on Twitter: (@MoomahMagazine), Facebook and Pinterest.