Obama and Marriage: Do We Need a Secret Gay-Decoder Ring?

Mr. President, I have come to terms with your rules of engagement on LGBT issues. I have decided to tune out your well-written and dramatically spoken words. Instead, I will focus on your actions.

Otherwise, I think I would get whiplash.

The last few weeks have been like watching a tightrope walker. Your spokespeople and you have tried to stand on that tightrope, but there is no solid logic holding it up.

So, I am going to ignore your recent speeches about marriage, because I believe they are simply dishonest. And that's OK. You have many things to think about, including getting four more years to push your agenda. On same-sex marriage, your words do not matter anymore, and I am not alone in not believing your stated beliefs.

I say this because you told my newspaper (Outlines, which is now Windy City Times) in 1996 that you were fully committed to same-sex marriage rights and would fight efforts to limit those rights. You were just running for Illinois senate, and you were probably not concerned yet about higher office. In Chicago politics, your position was a mainstream one.

You slowly migrated toward the middle, first as "undecided" in 1998, then as "against" on practical political grounds in my 2004 interview with you. You soon began to invoke religion, causing great concern from your LGBT and allied supporters. And now you say it is a states' rights issue, but that you are "evolving" on your opinion.

I know you know better. Marriage is no more a states' rights issue than is immigration. The federal government plays a significant role in sanctioning marriages, from social security and inheritance to partner's citizenship and taxes.

As President, however, there are few concrete actions you can take to change this, and you are doing most of those things. Most importantly, you are stopping the Department of Justice from defending the part of the Defense of Marriage Act that refuses to recognize legal same-sex marriages performed in the states. The Department of Justice is not fully consistent on this yet, but they are doing some heavy lifting fighting DOMA in the courts.

This work is absolutely critical to the equal marriage movement.

Secondly, you are supporting the efforts of states such as New York in passing equal marriage laws.

And thirdly, you have created an environment where millions of LGBTs are positively affected by other, lesser regulations, laws, rulings and other changes in how the federal government does business, both in the U.S. and around the world. These are not sexy, headline-grabbing maneuvers, but they are concrete changes.

So why are you facing anger from the LGBT and allied community? Because the presidential post has never been only about rulings and laws, signing orders and proclamations. Past presidents have used their bully pulpit to push society forward (or backward, in some cases) in ways that mere laws cannot. They have used speeches to motivate and inspire us to believe that we could rid ourselves of slavery, set foot on the moon or survive war and depression.

You have the chance, Mr. President, to inspire and change hearts and minds. You have done it on myriad issues before, including on race, war, health care and economic doom. I respect your right not to speak out, and I will also base my opinions on your actions and not those much-desired words saying that you have fully "evolved" on marriage.

But there are many others who will not be so patient, who will not believe you, until you say those words:

"I support the right of the LGBT community to have full access to marriage as a federal right of citizenship."

Or is it that we all just need to get your secret gay-decoder ring to see the real meaning behind your well-parsed words?

 

Follow Tracy Baim on Twitter: www.twitter.com/windycitytimes1

Comments

[daltexdude]

09:50 PM on 07/07/2011

What drives me nuts is how so many LGBT voters are willing to give Obama a second opportunity to slight our community. From the "he's a master chess player -- he thinks and acts strategically" camp to the "he's better than a Republican" camp, all I hear are people who are settling or people who are naive. In either case, it is worth a bit of short-term pain to sit out this upcoming presidential election. Please don't reward cowardice. Don't let Obama take us for granted.

[Wayne Peterson]

03:30 PM on 07/07/2011

.....have patience......the first crack will come when the money hungry Catholic Church sees all that gay marriage revenue balancing the NY budget....they'll throw open their doors, cancel bingo and that archbishop's hat will be upside down at the church door.....Obama will take notice and declare a "Same Sex Holiday".....kinda like Mother's Day or Father's Day.....have patience....

[nessus]

11:06 AM on 07/07/2011

Gotta love the logic here: As I have long suspected, for much of the American electorate, words actually speak much louder than actions. People say they want a politician who will tell the truth even when it does not benefit them politically. People say they want a politician who will walk the walk. Many people are obviously lying to themselves. They clearly want someone who will just say exactly what they want to hear and let them go back to watching "Dancing With The Stars."

It seems to me that those who need to hear the words don't need some secret decoder ring because they already have one, and can't understand anything that isn't in their code. The man has done nearly everything a President can legally do for the LGBT community, but until he uses all the right code words in the correct order, they can neither hear his actual words nor see his clear actions. A little bleeping gratitude is apparently out of the question.

[daltexdude]

07:35 PM on 07/07/2011

It is indeed out of the question

[daltexdude]

11:10 PM on 07/06/2011

Great writing, Tracy! You did a great job expressing what many of us feel.

[Tracy Baim]

02:15 PM on 07/08/2011

Thank you.

[Baneblade]

10:35 PM on 07/06/2011

Basically, he has to beat around the bush because some book has a passing mention of "man shall not lie with man" or some such nonsense, despite the same book also saying to leave any judgements to God and God alone.

So they pick and they choose what parts of that book they like, and they rage and shout at anyone that doesn't like the same parts as they do.

Unfortunately, quite a few Americans believe in this patchwork book, and will fly right off the handle and into the deep end of insanity if gays are so much as hinted at being worthy of equal rights. These people are usually too drunk to shoot straight, but damn if they won't try.

[Ioan Lightoller]

02:12 AM on 07/07/2011

Fanned and faved. I can understand people believing this kind of thing. What I resent is when it used as an excuse to extend full rights to GLBT people, many of whom are not Christian.

[Wayne Peterson]

03:32 PM on 07/07/2011

....yup....only Christian's should have equal rights......

[Michael F]

10:22 AM on 07/07/2011

Faved.

Cafeteria Constitutionalists and Cafeteria Christians are driving our society over a cliff. They are picking and choosing what laws or what Bible passages are relevant to the lives of others without any consideration for their lives. Whether it's health care, gay marriage or environmental quality, they have become so engrossed in their own belief structure that facts have become irrelevant.

I blame a culture which tells us that not only is everyone entitled to their opinion but they should have an opinion on every subject. Each of these opinions are treated as valid regardless of facts.