Photo Credit: USFWS Pacific Southwest Region
First, let's get the ways to not be your own version of Wonder Woman or Superman in your own life out of the way! Looking to be rescued in a relationship? Many of us are until we realize ain't nobody got time for that, and it's pretty much impossible!
Guaranteed ways to feel like a victim in your life and relationships:
- You make excuses for the bad behavior of others toward you, even if they're nice to the rest of the world.
- You make excuses for not taking action.
- You really think it is other people who are making you miserable and that the "one person who gets you" is still out there.
- Not being a priority in someone else's world when they're a priority in yours.
- When you wait to hear what you're going to be doing based on someone else's agenda.
- You give your power to someone else's promises of loving behavior only to be disappointed by the only consistency in the relationship, which is non-action time and time again.
- Staying in limbo with someone who won't commit to coming forward or going away for good.
- Giving gifts and time only to purposely need validation and to never have it reciprocated.
- Other's excuses appear to become a truth about yourself that you somehow inherited.
- You say nothing hoping the person will wake up and treat you right.
- You repeat the same argument over and over, even if the other person has apologized, you want something they cannot give to you.
- Blaming anyone for the state of your affairs.
- Allowing yourself to be constantly rejected and taking no action.
- You're disconnected from your own words, because you are stuck in a sea of emotion, which has nothing to do with reality.
Now, no one has to stay in victimhood, unless the benefit of being "poor me" outweighs the reward of being your own "superhero!"
All those statements about victimhood might be insidious, because they're so ingrained in your thinking. You may not notice how all of those beliefs about yourself and the world have mentally taken your power away.
In fact, many people don't realize they have choices in all those statements, so they remain a victim, blaming others and life for it's unfairness or crappy results.
Here's the deal.
Today is a great day to become your own superhero, there's no reason to wait. Let's reverse that list above into power statements on how to be your own superhero!
- You recognize the bad behavior of others toward you, and start treating yourself with the respect you deserve. When you stop treating yourself as worthless, others will, too, and if they don't, you won't tolerate it in your life.
- You take solid action.
- Until you focus on you, and understand your true wants/needs and go about fulfilling them, you'll make other people far more important than you!
- Be your top priority, take the oxygen mask first and go from there.
- Do what you want, period. You don't need permission, approval or validation from others. You're capable of figuring out what you want to do, so bust through that wall of cement and do it!
- Love yourself consistently. Create boundaries for acceptable behavior and stick to them. It'll make it easier to make self-validating decisions.
- Commit to yourself, if someone's existence in your life only brings difficulty, take your superhuman powers and shift yourself toward healthier and happier relations.
- Give to you. It's harder to receive than it is to give. You deserve love as much as the next person, so show yourself some real loving by opening up!
- What you tell yourself about you is far more important than someone else's opinion. Don't allow others criticism become a negative belief about you, accept yourself as you are and where you are, realize you are a super human!
- State your truth always. Be authentic.
- Ask questions to gain information rather than assuming. Realize that your mind will not be satisfied until it gets it's way, unless you accept everything around you as it is and then decide your next move.
- End blaming. You lose your super hero powers every time you do.
- Stop taking others personally, their rejection has little to do with you and everything to do with them. Value you and find others who do the same.
- When feeling needy, instead of expressing it in a manipulative way to get a reaction from someone else, try speaking the truth of the neediness. Get clear on why you feel the way you do and express it without attachment.
Just take one of these tips and watch how kryptonite no longer has the same effect on you!
Follow Tracy Crossley on Twitter: www.twitter.com/tracycrossley