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Trey Ellis

Trey Ellis

Posted: December 7, 2007 12:34 AM

HUFFPOST EXCLUSIVE! Missing CIA Torture Tapes Found


WASHINGTON -- The CIA videotaped its interrogations of two top terror suspects in 2002 and destroyed the tapes three years later. -- The AP

I am thrilled to announce that I have discovered the missing CIA torture tapes. They actually turned up in Terry Gilliam's Brazil screenplay by Terry Gilliam, Tom Stoppard & Charles McKeown:

INT. 50TH FLOOR CORRIDOR - DAY

The lift arrives. SAM steps out. The Charlady remains in the lift. The doors close. Sam heads down surgically clean white-tiled corridor.

Passing a white-coated TECHNICIAN monitoring what appears to be electric meters, Sam comes to a door with 500L. Above the door a red light is glowing. Sam knocks. The red light goes out and a green light comes on. Sam enters.

INT. ROOM 500L - DAY

Inside there is a connecting door to he next door room but
the only person in the immediate room is a pleasant-looking
FEMALE TYPIST, wearing headphones, chewing gum and typing
with great facility. Sam approaches the Typist who, busily
typing, twinkles a greeting (mimed) and silently mouths
the words...

TYPIST
It won't be long now.
(she carries on
typing)

Sam nods, and stands quietly by her. He can hear tiny sounds coming through her headphones. He looks down at the piece of paper in the typewriter. He reacts a bit strangely, perhaps even winces. We see he close up of the words being struck crisply on paper.


ON TYPEWRITER
AHHHH, Oh God... No, don't... UHH,
please... I... STOP!! I can't
stand... AIIEEEE.


TYPIST
(quietly, still
typing)
Can I help you?


She is looking at Sam helpfully, holding one of the earphones away from her ear. From this earphone we can just hear quietly...


EARPHONE
Oooooooh... aaaaaahhh... please...
arrrrrghhhh no... please... Oh
God, No... No, stop, I don't know...


SAM
I'm looking for Officer 412/L.


The Typist nods smiling. She puts back the earphone and carries on typing.


TYPIST
I'm sure he won't be long now.


She types a little more but suddenly stops.


TYPIST
I thought so!


She takes off the earphones and takes the paper and carbonums out of her typewriter and starts collating all the different copies.

Through the frosted glass door leading into the next area, Sam can see a FIGURE come through a double door and turn left, making a silly 'hi' sign to the Typist as he exits from sight. She is charmed. Almost immediately after them, a white-coated TECHNICIAN exits, but to the left.


TYPIST
You can go in now.


 
 
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09:59 AM on 12/09/2007
Did anyone check that 8 ft safe in Vaders lair?
Thats where they are!
09:57 AM on 12/07/2007
Lost CIA Torture tapes. You obviously have never been to a Dick Cheney dinner party, or a Bush 41 Cuban Exile reunion. They swap stories and play those things till ad naseum. Hoover loved to wear his favorite TUTU while he showed the FBI's collection at his shebangs.
photo
SamEllison
I feel so clean!
01:59 AM on 12/07/2007
I was hoping I could get a copy of the tape of Khalid Sheikh Mohammed claiming he was Shirley Temple Black. Do you think they would run a three-for like Arianna is doing with the posters?