Many times I have written about childhood sexual abuse in the Huffington Post. Those blogs don't get a lot of reader comments and it is not surprising. It is not a subject that people want to read about, think about, much less formulate comments about. And I totally understand that. So I write about other things as well even though most of them have at least an underlying theme related to the impact of sex in our modern culture.
In the past week or so, it has been difficult to read the Huffington Post or any other news source without coming across stories about sexual abuse. Just when you thought the Catholic Church had paid off enough people to quiet things down, the scandal gets even closer to the Pope himself. In 2001, then Cardinal Ratzinger, in a confidential letter to Catholic bishops regarding the handling of sexual abuse cases, referred to a requirement of secrecy in such cases. It has also been reported that a priest with a known history of sexual abuse was reassigned under the Cardinal's watch.
And now the Boy Scouts join in with an Oregon case against a troop leader who is on trial for molesting a scout. He has admitted to molesting 17 of the 30 boys in his troop. The court is allowing access to documentation of sexual abuse within the organization known as "the perversion files." In it are numerous examples of molestation cases, some with the familiar story of the accused being returned to service in the organization.
And finally, a 1972 Olympic gold medalist on the US swim team has come forward to speak about sexual abuse she suffered at the hands of her coach beginning at age 11 and continuing for four years. Her charge is that there is not adequate screening and background checks for coaches in the US swim program creating an environment that encourages and supports sexual abuse between coaches and athletes, a claim upheld by numerous other cases that have come to light.
Despite how difficult it may be to even ponder such things, sexual abuse has social tentacles that affect crime, homelessness, depression, substance abuse, domestic violence, mental health, physical health, and education. It was interesting to watch last weekend's health care debate as it related to abortion. We always hear about exclusions to restrictions on government funding for abortion to include the health of the mother, rape and incest. So we are willing to clean up the mess of rape and incest by using federal funds to pay for abortions but apparently not willing to explore how we may prevent sexual abuse and violence in this country. Until such time as we get interested in that, the only defense we have against childhood sexual abuse, or sexual abuse of any kind, is to tell. I know that didn't do much good when altar boys tried it and told their parents only to have the priest call them liars to protect themselves. And I know it didn't work for the Boy Scouts either although their complaints may have made it into the perversion files. And it didn't work for the gold medalist swimmer who was told her complaint couldn't be filed when she finally made it because she was no longer an active swimmer in the program. But telling is still the only way for now. As citizens, no matter how this issue may cross our paths, we have a responsibility to listen if told, to tell if victimized, and to act whenever possible to stop this killer of children's souls. And if you have a child, boy or girl, who plays organized sports, participates in social organizations, belongs to a church, has a babysitter from time to time, or even has a sibling, I hope you have taught them to tell. If not, you may become an expert on the subject in a way that no parent ever should.
Rev. James Martin, S.J.: How Could It Happen? Tracing the Causes of Sexual Abuse by the Clergy
Buried beneath the shock and anger, especially for Catholics, however, is a searing question: How could this happen?
A couple of weeks ago, I didn't understand why the Huffington Post wasn't posting the letter that Sineade O'Connor had written to all of the newspapers in Ireland. I sent in a letter to the news e-mail I hoped they would have featured it for Sinead. I am very angry with the Catholic Church, have been for years.
I have supported Sinead since she tore up the photo in 92. I understood immediately what her protest was about. Too bad people thought she hated God. It turns out she was trying to save some children from these sickos.
Thanks for writing this artical. Comments have been great as well.
Regards,
Gary
I was not abused in a religious setting, but was caught in a sick triangulation of sexual abuse by both parents, and ultimately, an older brother. I have no doubt that my parents were locked into a "re-enactment scenario" - the roots of sexual abuse, while not hereditary, are learned, and deeply patterned. That abuse occurred within a family of distinguished educational and professional success... my father was a social worker specializing in the issues of children, and my mother, a physician.
It is possible to heal from the effects of childhood sexual abuse, and shape a life with values, construct, joy and health. But - the challenge of discarding horrendous "lessons learned" from persistent sexual abuse is deeply, deeply challenging. I have profound sympathy for my brothers and sisters of abuse who sustained abuse from powerful. 'godly' figures as a priest, or -
Her son would not identify him, except to his mom.
She found out the entire community was well aware of this man but they didn't talk about it.
He was molesting them when he was alone in the room with them! What in the heck were parents thinking when they were told to leave the exam room? I went in with my sons and daughters until they were 14-15.....
A pediatrician in Oklahoma was convicted on several counts of child abuse about 10-12 years ago. He had as many as 40 foster children during the time the abuse was going on. Not 40 at a time...He took them camping, coached sports and took them to OKC to shop.He also ran a "boys" group at his church. As soon as one young man came forward, the dams opened and the court was flooded with stories. He is still in prison. I worked in ER and I got a very strong vibe from him when he was with young patients. I never left the room. Not even if he told me to.
And I would never, ever have a male babysitter for my daughters. I fully believe that most boys are uninterested in molesting little girls. But in my experience as a preschool teacher and a neighbor, I've known several instances of babysitter/child abuse and they all involved adolescent male babysitters. Why would a parent take even the slightest increased risk with their children?
My daughter is 10 and we've had the talk MANY times -- if someone (coach, friend, friend's parent or sibling, teacher, camp counselor, whoever) ever says "don't tell your Mom," then say to them "I WILL TELL MY MOTHER." Say it firmly. Make eye contact. Leave the scene if possible. Find a phone. Call Mom.
Tell them you'll tell. Then tell.
If we don't teach our kids what is what ... and how to react ... we are doing them an ENORMOUS disservice.
Teach them ... and you empower them.
Peace.