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Trish Kinney

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The Universe Takes on Sexual Abuse

Posted: 11/21/11 05:49 AM ET

The moment I realized that the Penn State scandal was breaking, and breaking big, I knew that the universe had taken over. My prayers had been answered. Lots of us have tried for a very long time to bring the issue of sexual abuse to the mainstream media without success. It's never been cocktail party conversation or tweet material or the kind of thing you post on Facebook. Until now, that is.

Back in 2009, I wrote Mrs. Obama a letter in the form of a blog here on the Huffington Post asking her to take up the cause of sexual abuse and violence against women. She chose childhood obesity instead, admittedly a very important issue. It was my great hope that she or her husband would one day simply speak the words, sexual abuse, to bring attention to the subject. And the President did take a brief question about it last weekend, calling the situation at Penn State a "problem." It was a good start. We now have a national dialogue about sexual abuse.

The Catholic Church scandal had the potential to have the same effect but somehow, it just didn't. People could choose to ignore the scandal if they so desired and there were very few actual images of the abuse itself. Catholics tried to process it and justify staying faithful to their religion as those in power continued to deny, protect and pay out while preaching self-serving forgiveness and understanding. There was no particular human face on the scandal as it had a more institutional feel to it. No, it wasn't a mainstream event and the media didn't really adopt it.

But choosing the scandal to come out of one of the most revered college sports programs in the country was a brilliant stroke by the universe. And including the graphic images of children actually being raped by a person who should have been trustworthy forced our society to see the problem in a way they never had. And in a particular blessing, the story speaks the loudest to men, a group notoriously difficult to reach on this subject. So suddenly, the victims are feeling the protection and concern of the public and we are being constantly reminded of that as we watch the Penn State program crumble. It is understandable that many are choking on their compassion as they watch their beloved JoPa exit, including the students who took their outrage over his firing to the streets. But still the empathy seems to be going with the children, as it should.

The opportunities created by this story are endless. In a stunning interview on the Ed Show on Wednesday, the actor/activist David Keith spoke about the 10,000 other Jerry Sanduskys out there in Pennsylvania whose victims are "waiting to be rescued and they don't have NCAA football to highlight their plight." He called this failure to fund resources and act on behalf of these child victims of sexual abuse and pornography "maybe the greatest failure in the history of mankind." He also stated that 96% of the children raped and abused within the child pornography industry are violated in their own home. As an advocate for sexual abuse victims, I follow the subject very carefully and never knew that David Keith had been actively involved in this cause for years through the National Association to Protect Children (protect.org). I won't dwell on how little publicity his cause was able to generate in the past and instead will just be grateful that opportunities are now opening up.

Hopefully the Penn State story, depending on how it plays out, will give children the courage to tell when they are being abused. Because it so often happens at home, these children are frequently blamed for destroying the family by telling. It is unlikely that anyone blames the Penn State victims for destroying the football program. All victims deserve the same consideration. It is always right to tell.

I am happy to take this remarkable, once in a lifetime gift from the universe. It gives me the chance to say that those eight victims are representative of thousands and thousands of children who are sexually abused in this country every single day. The image that we all have now of that moment in the locker room shower plays out in some shape or form in homes, schools, cars, or wherever a person with power chooses to victimize a child every single day. I am sleeping better at night, not because this will eradicate sexual abuse. But because we are all talking about it. We have stepped out of the darkness into the light. So many of us have waited so long for this to happen.

 
 
 
 
 
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11:47 PM on 11/24/2011
This case means the world to me as a victim - of my adoptive parents, a "case" that happened over 30 years ago, and in another country. I have already learned some things from the characters involved, like Paterno being very similarly controlling as my enabler, and Sandusky - I don't even want to start, he's so creepily similar to my abuser, what with the gifts, the talk about bettering yourself, getting you into sports. Only mine weren't at the "universal," $500,000/year level, so nobody will ever hear about them. That's ok. I feel satisfied by the arrest as if my abuser had been arrested. I've made some drawings of Sandusky, wondering if other victims of childhood abuse are similarly following this case... you can see one here, if I may post a link? http://www.paintingsilove.com/image/show/252546/sanduskys-arrest?path=artist&artist=mipochka
01:50 PM on 11/22/2011
A Senate committee will hold a special hearing dedicated to examining current laws protecting children from abuse and predation--and whether those laws will need to be stronger in the wake of the Sandusky grand jury allegations.

Already, multiple bills have been introduced in the Senate aimed at requiring witnesses of child abuse to report offenders to law enforcement. In the House, Rep. Karen Bass (D-Los Angeles) has introduced the "Speak Out to Stop Child Abuse Act," which would mandate witnesses to report abuse to either law enforcement or child protective services.

The Senate hearing has been called by Sen. Barbara A. Mikulski (D-Md.), chairwoman of the Senate Health, Education, Labor and Pension subcommittee on children and families. Mikulski said she was "troubled and distraught about the child sexual abuse allegations" at PSU. Senator Bob Casey (D-Pa.) said the hearing would be "an opportunity to ensure that our federal laws are protecting our children from dangerous sexual predators."

The Sandusky story has, sadly, long since gone past the point of being about a football coach and a football program, and that it could spark a change in the way federal laws treat the reporting and prevention of child abuse is just the latest evidence of how important the story has become.
http://www.cbssports.com/mcc/blogs/entry/24156338/33457152
01:17 PM on 11/22/2011
continue:
After he made that statement I just thought to myself... "you have got to be kidding, these are finally good times"..... the bad guys are being exposed, and the kids are being treated as people.

We need to keep those sad times getting better.... by speaking up, just as you did by publishing your story...

Your story is so powerful... and when you were a kid, you had no power. By speaking up you regain your power that was tragically taken away when you were a kid. The sad times are getting over and it is slowly changing, because there is finally hope. Victims are being listened to, they are not alone, and wrongdoers are being held accountable, and we need to keep pushing for all of them to be held accountable so that this abuse will get stopped. We can not ever go back to being silent, because then we would be back in the "sad times"

Judy Jones, SNAP Midwest Associate Director, USA 636-433-2511
snapjudy@gmail.com
"Survivors Network of those Abused by Priests" and all clergy.
http://www.snapnetwork.org/
01:16 PM on 11/22/2011
Thank you for this article and "yes we are all talking about it"... finally..!

Many times I hear these words, especially from those working in the catholic system, " These are sad times". When I hear those words I want to cringe.

The sad times were when kids did not dare to speak up about being sexually abused, no one would believe them. The sad times were when adults did not get involved, they did not take action,they walked on by, and they covered up sex crimes against kids. The sad times were when none of the predators were made public, let alone spend a day in jail. The sad times were when kids were treated not as PEOPLE. the sad times where when a victim had no support, help, therapy, and felt all alone. The sad times are still here today, BUT they are getting much better, because this taboo subject is now being talked about.

A vicar general of my diocese, where my brother and several of my relatives were sexually abused by our long time parish priest, told me "these are sad times", of course they are sad times for him, of course the truth is being exposed, of course they can not keep protecting predator priests and their own image, of course there is a possibility they could be held accountable, and of course they can't go on, life as usual, feeling they were so powerful, they were above reproach and above the law.
12:29 PM on 11/22/2011
The Catholic Church abuse scandal was contained by the plaintiff attorneys who had a monetary interest in keeping the focus on the Church. These attorneys, in concert with SNAP's paid staff, always -- always -- portrayed the scandal as particular to the Church. Why? Their whole litigating apparatus was constructed to sue the Catholic Church and nobody else. Indeed, not once did these attorneys or SNAP support more inclusive legislation that would have allowed public institutions to be held equally accountable as the Catholic Church for incidents of child abuse. Why? Again, follow the money. They knew that no state in the Union would pass a bill that would hold public schools like Penn State accountable. No way, no how. So, sad as it is, there will be no breakthrough moment now, as long as the media, long-time SNAP advocates themselves, continue to drink the Kool-aid that the Catholic Church is the only place where abuse happens. Time to wake up and hold everyone accountable.
01:57 PM on 11/22/2011
Penn State, in last week's case, had ONE accused pedophile. The Catholic church had 4,392 according to their own John Jay report of 2004. That’s right - over four thousand. ANd they under-reported. And they lied about it.

What Would Jesus Do? Throw Satan and his followers out of the Catholic church.
03:13 PM on 11/22/2011
Your point being? Are you saying that it isn't true that abuse happens on a wide-spread basis in other organizations and in society? Sure sounds like you are. And that only serves to prove my point that SNAP and its lawyers have carefully created and maintained an impression that abuse is contained in one place, the Catholic Church. It simply isn't profitable for them to speak out in favor of laws that protect children in public as well as private institutions. Sorry, but that's the truth.
11:16 AM on 11/22/2011
We taught our 3 children from a very young age that "No One has the right to touch them, they can say "No!", get away and tell someone" to protect them from sexual abuse. It is common knowledge that most perpetrators of sexual abuse of children are trusted individuals, family members, friends, neighbors or other people of positions of trust over children.
09:46 PM on 11/28/2011
Just keep in mind, my father told me the very same thing, and I still kept my past hidden until last year, I am 28, it devastated him, and I feel terrible that I told even still because I know it made him feel bad that he couldn't protect me. That's the guilt that abuse victims face at every step. My great wish, is that the world finds a way to take away the guilt, let the kids really believe they are not at fault. Even when I told my mother, she said it wasn't her fault because I never told her, that I was wrong for not telling her then. So that's a whole other bag of crazy guilt that I had to deal with. The ramifications of abuse are never ending.
11:05 AM on 11/22/2011
We want to thank you for sharing your thoughts. We also want to note, that we support ending corporal punishment in schools, we support HR 3027 and we have passed a board resolution on ending corporate punishment in schools.

Ben Tanzer Prevent Child Abuse America

Subject: Prevent Child Abuse America President: Penn State, the Specter of Institutional Failure and the Promotion of Healthy Child Development .

TALKIN THE TALK, NOT WALKIN THE WALK!!!!!
U.S. Congress must Enact H.R. 3027 "The Ending Corporal Punishment in Schools Act", DUE TO DIE AGAIN ON 12/8/2011! MANDATORY REPORTERS of suspected child abuse, school teachers, coaches and administrators HIT STUDENTS K-12 with thick wooden PADDLES, SEXUAL ASSAULT when done to a non-consenting adult, to deliberately inflict PAIN AS PUNISHMENT for minor infractions! "Corporal Punishment" is already ILLEGAL in schools in 31 U.S. States and Prohibited for use against convicted felons in ALL U.S. Prisons! "Teacher IMMUNITY LAWS" protect school employees from criminal/civil action when students are INJURED, leaving families no legal redress! School beatings are "founded upon the RELIGIOUS CONVICTION IT IS A SIN TO SPA RE THE ROD AND SPOIL THE CHILD." Federal Courts uphold and the U.S. Supreme Court declines to hear school corporal punishment appeals as laws allow this violation of our constitution. See "A Violent Education" for disturbing facts. "Bullying is enough of a problem among students; the teachers shouldn't be doing it, too," said Rep. McCarthy, donthitstudents dot com
12:32 AM on 11/25/2011
You ought to include using exercise as a physical punishment - like putting kids on treadmills...good initiative...
10:28 PM on 11/21/2011
I am not sure if anyone is ready for really bringing what is in the "darkness into the light.". The two statistics on victims that every hears and reads is 1 in 4 females and 1 in 6 males will be sexually assaulted in their lifetime. The statistics on the perpetrators is even more disturbing. In national sexual behavior serveys 1 in 12 men admit to sexual behavior that would be classed rape in most states. (force or threat of force etc) 1 in 5 men also admit to some form of sexual assault such as forced kissing or groping. If the reporting rates for sex crimes ever approached that of property crimes we would need a heck of alot more prisons.
09:40 PM on 11/21/2011
It's tragic that it takes a sexual abuse scandal at a prestigious University for the Country to open its eyes to what victims endure daily. There are 16,000,000 abuse victims living in the United States alone. We are your friends, co-workers, boyfriends, girlfriends, what have you. Embrace a victim with open arms and let's eliminate the epidemic. In the end, we want to leave our hellacious past behind us and be loved, just like everyone else. (achildsdemons.com)