They don't do it -- because they've had enough. Some women in midlife are not coloring their hair, dieting religiously, and struggling to achieve unrealistic standards of physical beauty. While the statistics continue to startle us -- $8.2 billion worth of beauty products sold in 2006, a $55.4 billion annual weight loss industry, and 2.7 million women aged 51-64 who underwent cosmetic surgery in 2005 -- there appears to be a subset within this demographic that is letting go of measuring self-worth based on appearances.
Could it be that there's a backlash against all the nipping, tucking and Photoshopping to create impossible beauty ideals?
Some research says yes. Marika Tiggemann, at Finders University in Adelaide, Australia, began with a reasonable premise that goes like this: Since women, as they age, fall farther from the fashion model ideal -- tall, size-zero thinness, and young -- older women would likely hate their bodies more than younger ones, who at least have youth in their repertoire. Surprisingly in a survey of 322 women, aged 20 to 84, Tiggemann found that women's body dissatisfaction did not increase as they aged.
"Everyone says, 'I'd rather be thinner' or 'I'd like to have a body that looks like this,'" Tiggemann says, in a personal interview. "But it matters less to a woman when she gets older."
In other words, the average middle-aged woman has grown smarter. As she grays, wrinkles, and thickens, she increasingly dreads the changes to her hair, skin, and shape. But she is no longer willing to endanger her health or simply go to all the expense and trouble to try to meet contemporary culture's idealization of women. Some women are letting go.
Makers of the Dove Campaign for Real Beauty have tapped this vein. Their latest campaign, "Onslaught," is all the rage. In it, a fresh-faced adolescent is depicted on the brink of life. Next follows a barrage of destructive beauty ads, videos, even the acts of bulimia nervosa. And the message, "Talk to your daughter before the beauty industry does."
Another data point: actor-cum-photographer Leonard Nimoy, of Star Trek fame, has come out with a provocative photography exhibit entitled, the Full Body Project. It depicts women from the "Fat Bottom Revue," a burlesque presentation meant to promote "fat liberation." The women are indeed full-bodied, some would say obese and, therefore, repulsive. Nimoy sees the women differently.
"The cruelest part ... is that these women are being told, 'You don't look right,'" Nimoy says in a recent New York Times article.
And the beauty industry has hooked a number of these women in to buying clothing and accessories that slim, beauty aids, plastic surgery, diet pills and programs, therapy and the basic premise that you can look like a fashion model. And you should.
But there is a brave cadre that wants a different message. Perhaps it is one about a life-well-lived. If you are spending a great proportion of your waking hours obsessing about food and flab, you are taking away from quality time. At midlife, we wake up to the reality that we have fewer birthdays ahead than behind. And time becomes more precious than any diet or exercise goal achieved.
Yes, exercise and healthy dieting can prolong life. And true, it feels marvelous to take off a few pounds after indulging in a glut of holiday feasting. But if body-sculpting endeavors diminish mental and physical health, are they worth it? The Dove women in their underwear say no.
Follow Trisha Gura on Twitter: www.twitter.com/SciWriterPhD
What matters to me is that I continue to enjoy my body ( feel good) and feel joyfull. seems to me that joy - inspired by nothing but being alive- is entirely underestimated as tonic.
I don't watch much media anymore and I shop a lot less, although I have managed to go up only a size or two due to much healthier eating. I notice that the world of fashion and entertainment is no longer geared toward me. It IS liberating to care less, purchase less crap that does not work the miracles promised and to focus more on important things.
But I am not quite ready to give up my old ways. I color my hair unapologetically. It is my one indulgence in a world of weekly manicures, pedicures and Brazilian waxes. I don' have much money for clothes but I still like to get a new outfit now and then. I am motivated to eat well for my health mostly...but I want to maintain my weight as well, for more superficial reasons.
Maybe this is sad and shallow to some. But I think it is more complex for a lot of women than just waking up one day and deciding "I'm done". It is a process. First one thing drops away and then another.
I wouldn't go back, permanently, to ages 16, 21 or even 30 right now. There is too much good in my life as a middle aged woman and I have learned a lot since the reckless days of my youth. But I would vacation back then, gladly, for a day or two, if I could!
No to plastic surgery addiction, eating disorders and dressing like a pole dancer...But an empowered "yes" to indulging one's fun side from time to time. If that involves fashion or makeup for some, why not?
I'm starting to thing that the current stridency over the "obesity crisis" is fueled, in part, by a backlash to the very backlash you write about.
Heaven forfend that a woman "let herself go" and gain weight. Or that stores offer stylish clothes to young women who don't meet the conventional standard of beauty.
While much of the concern is rooted in health, I have to think that we'd be hearing more about lifestyle changes (walking vs. driving, fresh vs. processed foods, etc.) rather than BMI.
But at 44, I still dye my hair, so I'm a bit of a hypocrite...
But where I live, Marin County — ground zero for the green, Prius-driving, eco-friendly, fair trade, local, sustainable, organic, touchy-feely image of Northern California — you're not going to find many converts among the affluent, entitled boomer women. Their homes are more natural than their bodies, and they have no desire to have it be different.
I have hair that goes to my waist, so the grow-out process is going to involve a couple of years of patience or a major hatchet job in the next six months, but it's been worth it so far. The compliments I've been receiving on my salt-and-pepper glory have been heartening. And my face still belies my age with only moisturizer as an assistant, so I give thanks for my good genes and set my face toward midlife with some degree of relief on that level. To heck with the worship of youth.
Glad to see your post again on Huffington! Yes, I'm aging, and I agree that while it's important to be healthy, I'm not as absorbed with my body image. From about age 40 on, we can begin to visualize what's down the road. But will it be the road less traveled, or widely used?
Then, if you are smart cookie, you realize all of a sudden....."I can do ANYTHING because NO ONE SEES ME!"
Uh, oh....I just gave it away, eh ladies?