Recapping the Project Runway Premiere

Click here for last week's preview of Project Runway.

TGIF, gentle readers. Are you ready for some Project Runway recapping? Let's do this thing!

Lifetime's Runwaypalooza commenced with a two-hour "All-Star Challenge" special that brought back past contestants to compete in a single runway show for a $100,000 prize. The "All-Star" title is kind of misleading, as the show featured only one actual winner (Jeffrey Sebelia of Season 3, who has grown himself an impressive handlebar mustache. My husband Jeff said it best: "He looks like... if Sonny Bono had a meth phase. Like, if Cher dumped him and he moved to Detroit." But I digress.)

I cannot believe that the producers didn't at least try to get other winners on the show, so I harbor suspicions that they just started calling everyone. One must wonder why Kenley Collins didn't make the cut. Is she still in jail for assaulting her boyfriend with a cat?

Anyway, the challenge was to make a mini-collection consisting of three looks, one of which would be a dress for a red-carpet premiere (that somehow involved the disembodied talking head of Nicole Kidman. I'm still confused). Later in the show the designers were also tasked with ripping the LA eatery, STK, to shreds in order to source material for a fourth outfit. The drama was nonexistent, I'm sorry to say. The featured designers fell into one of three categories: Extremely pissed that they had not won their respective season and out for revenge/glory (Santino of Season 2 and Korto of Season 5); Sap-tastically thankful for a second chance (Chris and Sweet P of Season 4); and oddly apathetic/affectless (Uli and Michael of Season 3). Two hours was way too long for this.

In the end, Daniel Vosovic (Season 2) won for creating outfits, seemingly, for a motley all-girl band of homeless rugby thugs. Bonus points for his "restaurant outfit," which featured a bodice made out of what looked like sticks of dynamite. (Good luck rocking that look on the NYC subway, ladies.)

Now, onto Season 6!

Meeting our designers on film gave me a brand new chance for first impressions. Ra'mon Lawrence Coleman used to be a med student before he succumbed to his passion for fashion. Johnny Sakalis used to be a meth addict, which should come up approximately 50 times between now and the end of the season (not that I'm not sympathetic, but you know they will beat that horse to death). Qristyl wore a Brooklyn T-shirt and my heart grew three sizes. Logan might actually be straight! Carol Hannah still looks kind of like she lives out of her car (but don't worry, honey, you make it work).

The designers all arrived at their apartments (segregated, as always, by gender. I wondered aloud whether this was because the producers didn't want the contestants to ho it up a la The Real World, but practically all of the men are gay, so that theory doesn't wash) and introductions were made. Everyone's in that first blush of "Oh my God I can't believe I'm here" and therefore on their best behavior. I suppose you have to be a real sociopath to be immediately rude to people you've never met, but that's what I was hoping for.

On the first morning, Tim escorts the designers to the Kodak theater, where a red carpet is in place because it is the morning of the 60th Emmy Awards (yes, we have traveled back in time to September '08, where we will be for the entire season, with the exception of Ari, who is from a different time -- more on that later). The challenge is to create a red-carpet gown, with the instruction that it should be innovative, should encapsulate each designer's point of view, and can be for any awards show, not just the Oscars/Emmys. This strikes me as kind of a lame first challenge, but excitement is in the air as the designers flock to Mood. Shirin is wearing the odd, bedazzled yarmulke that she sported in her audition video. Could this be the Kenley feather of Season 6?!

Since they are in LA, the workspace for this season is housed in FIDM, better known as the Fashion Institute of Design and Merchandising (but perhaps best known as the place Lauren Conrad "studied" on The Hills in between her melancholy staring sessions). Tim makes a big deal of introducing the Brother sewing machines they'll be using, and thus it is no surprise when a commercial airs throughout the night for Brother label-makers (Side note: Who still uses label makers? In traveling back to 2008, did we cross over with 1995? And why do I still want one?)

Almost immediately, Johnny has a breakdown because he can't decide what to make and he doesn't want to fail, and somehow it reminds him of his meth past, but Tim comforts him and all is well within a matter of minutes. Tim surveys the designers as they work. Mitchell, bless his heart, has made an old-fashioned ombre nightie that leaves Tim stricken. It is really awful, which makes me sad because I had high hopes for Mitchell. Qristyl, another of my early favorites, is making something out of shiny satin in a print that recalls the sprinkles on the Carvel ice cream logo. (I actually said out loud, "Honey, no!" But she did not listen.) Ari, who is wearing a seizure-inducing psychedelic bodysuit, has spent the afternoon doing handstands and crafting something out of silver quilting that Tim likens to a "halter diaper." Which, I bet if Huggies introduced that it would sell like crazy. Even babies need to be fierce nowadays. They could be called Hugges.

Finally we make it to the runway. I have missed Michael Kors' smushy little face and Nina Garcia's thinly-veiled smile of contempt. Heidi tells the designers that the guest judge will be an actress who has spent plenty of time on the red carpet, and everyone freaks out when it is revealed to be Lindsay Lohan.

Now, as soon as I saw LiLo I cackled to myself (as I am wont to do), because it is so very easy to mock her. But I have to say that Lohan was an excellent guest judge. She sounds like she really knows fashion (her leggings brand 6126 notwithstanding) and, with the exception of her Sunny Delight-colored skin, looked relatively healthy.

As I said, I found the challenge to be kind of boring (I much prefer when they are forced to make jodhpurs out of table scraps or something), and as a result I didn't have strong feelings about too many of the garments. Let's dispense now with the ones I have nothing particularly bitchy to say about:

ALTHEA

Pretty, although I myself am not a fan of molting boobage.

CAROL HANNAH

I don't like how this fits the model (maybe she was designing a red carpet look for the SAG awards. Ha!). Extra fabric dripping from the nipple area is never good. But at least this is interesting.

CHRISTOPHER

As Michael Kors said, it's cute and edgy. I really like the textures and styling.

EPPERSON

A little heavy for my tastes, but I like his style.

GORDANA

I like the overall look of this, even though the bodice looks like it was constructed out of those little paper fortune tellers that were all the rage in elementary school.

IRINA

Very pretty, but I suspect that Irina's girly aesthetic will come back to bite her in the ass. Look for the judges to call her out for not having enough range in the later episodes.

JOHNNY

This is a bad photo, but the flowy shape worked. The judges would have preferred it in a more neutral shade, but I love the red.

LOGAN

I'm not a fan of the two-toned boobs. This is meh for me.

LOUISE

Very Anthropologie. But not in a bad way.

MALVIN

Malvin's model is 27, which is like 90 in fashion years. But the uber neutral dress looks good on her.

NIC

I am digging the biker chick vibe, but that model needs some FrizzEase, stat!

RA'MON LAWRENCE

Definitely the strongest evening gown in the bunch, if somewhat Zac Posen-y.

SHIRIN

You know how I can tell this is Shirin's? Because she's wearing a twee little cape. Of course. Also, this model has come down with a case of Bitchface, but I know it's not her fault. It's rampant in Model-land.

And now, for the train wrecks:

ARI

In the interest of full disclosure, I don't hate this. For what she was trying to do, it works (in her words, this model lives in the year 2080 and is accepting a Nobel Peace Prize. For reals.) I feel like I could see someone wearing something like this to the Grammys. They'd get on a bunch of Worst Dressed lists, but I could see it. However, the craftsmanship of the halter-diaper portion is troubling. It looks like a sleeping bag mated with those tin foil blankets marathon runners use. Plus, there are bunching issues.

MITCHELL

Oh, Mitchell. Oh, honey. I went to the Waldorf school, too. Is that where you learned to make a neck brace out of corn husks? This actually is better than his original design, but the judges rightly took Mitchell to task for essentially sending a naked model draped in fabric down the runway.

QRISTYL

I feel like this is the worst offense, since at least Ari's and Mitchell's were something you don't see every day. This monstrosity, on the other hand, I could easily see in a bargain bin at Daffy's, the kind of thing my sister or I would pick up and gesture to with a snicker before tossing it back on the pile. In her defense, I think it's the fabric choice that ruins this, not the design. If this were in black jersey I doubt I would hate it.

Immediately after the runway show, everyone but Ra'mon Lawrence, Christopher, Ari, Mitchell, Qristyl, and Johnny are safe. Johnny is in. Christopher is.... the winner of the challenge! He cries and it's cute and I love him even though my husband has taken to calling him "Chin-strap" due to the shape of his beard. R-L is, of course, in. Which leaves the relatively obvious Bottom Three.

After a good reaming from Kors and company, the axe finally falls. And it's a shocking upset! I was fairly sure that Mitchell or Qristyl would be going home, since at least Ari is kooky and out there, and that usually keeps designers afloat for at least a few episodes. When Qristyl was declared safe (Do better next week, girl. Do not do this to me again!), I steeled myself for poor Mitchell's auf-ing. I mean, he deserved it. His design was a hot mess from start to finish. And then, he was safe! And Ari was out! WHAT?

This seemed to make no sense. Ari had a more interesting point of view than Mitchell or Qristyl, and poor Mitchell basically sent a blot of fabric down the runway. But then it hit me: Lindsay Lohan, guest judge. Ari, Samantha Ronson doppelganger. Coincidence? I think not.

And now, a farewell haiku:

Handstands and diapers --
She had so much more to give
Lohan wronged you, Ari

Check back next week for Episode 2, in which the designers have to make something for a pregnant star! (Guesses on who? Has to be someone who was pregnant in the fall of '08).

Follow Una LaMarche on Twitter: www.twitter.com/sassycurmudgeon

Comments

[Una LaMarche - Huffpost Blogger]

Thanks, guys, for all of your comments. I'll definitely be doing this every week.

[mypeace]

Love the show - miss the edge of New York City - LA just doesn't have the same feel.

[mmgbizgirl]

Good recap.

[bunnylogic]

FAB-U-LUSS post Una!!! I hope they will be a weekly installment!

[djonan]

Mitchell's 1st dress had potential (had he shortened it up a ton it would have been pretty amazing.)

[GraceNotes]

Thanks for the recap, with photos, for I believe I was so bored during the all star challenge, I drifted off to sleep for a moment.! I cannot stand Santino's immature behavior, I would have thrown something at him, like a sewing machine.
I am happy there is a new season of PR, albeit one that was taped almost one year ago! But the first challenge was a bit meh for me as well. What happened to weird challenges like the grocery store?

[jane gallagher]

let's hope that Lifetime didn't suck the creativity out of the PR producers/writers!

[Angelus2007]

I agree, the all-stars was boring, but I have to disagree on Santino, he is obnoxious, but I think he is funny; and his Tim Gunn impression is spot on, a couple times when I wasn't watching but listening, I couldn't tell if it was Santino of Tim talking.

[bayside]

Thank you for this as I missed it..Well thought out article. Glad chris won ...It would be hard to be a judge as they are all very talented, however I would have chosen ari designs to go as well..

[robin50]

At one time I had hope for the Bravo channel. Now it has turned into just another channel doing cheap and cheesy so called "reality shows" It is nothing more than a cheap and cheesy channel that comes with the package and is not even on the channel listing on my remote.

[termgirl]

I, for one, welcome Project Runway back. The only time I sewed was in the seventh grade. We were required to make a gathered skirt. When I found out I had to make an actual button hole, I knew it was over. I came very close to failing, and never got near a bobbin again. I appreciate what these contestants are able to create.

[aznurse]

me too!! I had to make some kind of beach thing out of two towels in 7th grade, but I managed to sew my thumb and index finger together instead.

[jukesgrrl]

I love Tim Gunn and thoroughly enjoyed this show when it first came on the air. But the victory of Jeffrey Sebelia in Season 3 put me off Project Runway forever. He's a loathsome excuse for a human being and just watching him anywhere near $100,000 would have made me insane. I'll stick with your summaries, Una.

[LarryinMiami]

I agree about sibelia, I too vowed never to watch again, but I changed my mind! The show is very entertaining, the judges just make strange choices, like picking sibelia, and by not picking Korto!

[MindyM]

Larry,

I agree with you! I was so outraged when Sibelia won that I swore never to watch this show again. However, I found the lure of watching unknown designers whip up delicious and creative clothes every week, just too good to ignore. So here I am, watching the show on its new channel. I don't know that I will always agree with the winners, but watching it all play out and picking my own personal favorite, is just so much fun.

[ThursdayNext]

I know that Project Runway is all about making it work regardless of what curves get thrown at the designers. And I agree that Mitchell's design was a big hot mess. But ... who screwed up the model's measurements on his card? Sometimes I'd like to see a little leniency when stuff like that happens. Not a lot, but some. Other than that I am thrilled that Project Runway is back and I still adore Tim Gunn fiercely.

[caune]

Nobody "screwed up" the measurements, LOL, Models lie, this one maybe a tad more that most but the designer should never take that card at face value.. ...Just like many basketball players are a few inches shorter then advertised or some people lie about their weight or age.
When prepping these garments you make allowances with big seams that after the fitting you can cut down.

[atjewell]

Yay, Project Runway is back! :) I just have to say that there is no way that Lindsay was behind Ari leaving because remember, this was taped fall 2008- when she and Samantha were still hot, heavy and happy. If anything, she would have probably given Ari some love because she reminded her of Sam... Just my theory. And along those same lines, she looked healthier then because she was presumably happier and was not as (IMO) unattractively thin as she is now. Love her, but I want her to take better care of herself. She's a young talent who still has a bright future ahead of her.

[skippyB]

Well look at these comments! Hail Project Runway!
Korto is brilliant, let's all agree and support her. Me? I thought the judges were right, and I want that dress that won, and all of Kortos and the last one of Uli's - and Qrystil's was the worst.

But to the point - We ALL Win because Project Runway is Back!! and I think we all Love this show. I was moved to tears when Ra'mon took the time out to comfort a fellow competitor - I have no doubt he would make a brilliant surgeon. Tim Gunn, words for all of us, really, to see acts of kindness these days hit me like a brick.

Keep and eye out for Chris March's ideas to hit in two years - it happened with his hair dresses - he's big talent.
I was so proud of all of those finalists.
Great TV!

[HowSoonIsNow]

I cannot BELIEVE that Korto was robbed AGAIN!!!

There was no way whatshisface's fashions were better than hers!

AARRRGHHH!!

[LarryinMiami]

totally agree, Korto's work was superior to all; I just don't get what happened, then again, remember the talentless painted lady, sibelia, won previously.

[jane gallagher]

I think Daniel was a personal favorite of the judges and Tim so the fact that he won the All Stars was a sort of a consolation for him not winning the first time around (don't get me wrong, I'm glad Chloe won and not Daniel. He dropped the ball in his runway show in the second season).

But I think just based on how much they all coo over him versus the other contestants was a clear sign of being the favorite child.

[jane gallagher]

Does anyone know where to find clothes by Uli or Korto? (Korto has a website, but it only has jewelry for sale). Their web presence leaves something to be desired.

They were both robbed!

[Spelmandiva]

Uhhhmmm. Korto or Uli may have improved their web presence if they had won the $100,000. People seem to forget that it takes capital to start a clothing line. It is so not a economical undertaking. Reputation alone isn't enough. One needs backing. Hopefully the all star challenge will bring them both new opportunities....

[jane gallagher]

Didn't need a lecture. Just looking for any resources on finding out how to buy their awesome clothes.