On Iraq, Post-Partum Depression, and Trading Sex for Intel

On this fifth day of my book tour for Fair Game; My Life as a Spy, My Betrayal by the White House and my final book tour blog for the Huffington Post, I'm finding my stride. With the outing of my covert identity by conservative columnist Robert Novak in July 2003, I went from being a very private person whose entire professional career was devoted to the idea that discretion was paramount, to a public persona in the middle of a media maelstrom literally overnight. I have to say that I am still adjusting. As I have worked through numerous interviews for newspapers, radio, and TV, I am faintly surprised that there are a few questions that for the most part, I have not been asked about the book. Therefore, I thought I would use this blog as a means to answer some of them.

1. Why did you include a chapter on your bout with postpartum depression and were you concerned that the CIA would look unkindly on the fact that you sought help for your condition?

I included the chapter on postpartum depression (PPD) frankly because my publisher, Simon & Schuster, allowed me too, even though it is a departure from the rest of the themes of my book. It is something that I feel passionately about and was actually somewhat painful to write. With the birth of my twins in 2000, I experienced serious postpartum depression and initially had absolutely no idea what was happening. I think it's fair to say that up to that point in my life, I had demonstrated a high degree of coping abilities under significant stress and had always come through just fine. Here I was, an educated, happily married woman with two beautiful, healthy babies and I was completely thrown off balance by dark feelings I had never before experienced. I sought professional help, once a friend clued me into what might be going on. As I pulled out of this truly troubling period in my life -- around the time the twins were about 8 or 9 months old -- I thought of the many women who did not have the resources I had and were struggling with their deep, debilitating depression (PPD is estimated to strike at least 15-20% of all new mothers). I became involved in organizations that sought to educate and heighten awareness on PPD. Although I would not wish PPD on my worst enemy, I am a richer and more empathetic person for having gone through it. I had no qualms about revealing that I had sought professional help for my PPD to the CIA during a subsequent medical exam required to serve overseas. I wanted to be honest about my experiences and indeed, felt wiser and more mentally healthy as a result.

2. Were you and former colleagues at the CIA for or against the war?

During the intense period of operational activity in my office that preceded the war in Iraq, I never remember anyone discussing whether they were "for" or "against" the war. It simply wasn't done and would have been highly inappropriate. We were intelligence professionals working our hardest using every tradecraft skill and intuition we collectively had to try and collect solid intelligence from the Iraqi scientists within the presumed WMD programs. At the working level, our discussions were about how to reach a target, whether to consider a "cold pitch" if circumstances permitted, seeing if we could corroborate a source's intelligence, and figuring out if we could get a particularly valuable source out of Iraq with family, if warranted. The larger issues of the increasingly strident rhetoric coming out of the administration during those frenzied months were left to whispered conversations in the hallway among friends or maybe after hours over a beer. One, there simply wasn't time for this important debate in that environment -- there seemed to be operational crises every other moment. Secondly, my colleagues and I were simply trying to do our jobs and hope that senior US policy makers would make wise choices with the intelligence we sent to them.

3. Did you ever feel real, physical danger during your CIA career? Did you have to sleep with anyone to get intelligence? (Slight deviations from the query of whether life in the CIA resembles Hollywood movies...)

For obvious security reasons, I cannot detail operations in which I was involved that may have taken a dangerous turn. But I can say that there were some heart-stopping moments that made me ask myself, "Why am I doing this?" What is important to note is that all CIA operations are a team effort; a rogue operator wouldn't get very far because it really takes many to ensure that the target is spotted, surveillance is in place, technical aspects of recording the meeting are working (if deemed necessary), and expert analysts have provided the hard and perhaps technically sophisticated questions that need to be answered. I always knew that if I was meeting a potential source in the back of a quiet bar or restaurant in a foreign city, I was not alone -- my colleagues, sometimes invisible, would do everything possible to ensure that no physical harm would come to me.

As for the question about whether I've had sex with anyone to get intel (which, by the way, has been asked of me by a US diplomat and a major movie star), the answer is: there were many aspects of my job which were James Bond-like, but that, emphatically, was not one of them.

Thank you for allowing me to blog on HuffPost. I have been so grateful for your support and kind comments. I hope you enjoy reading Fair Game, because it's been a long, strange journey to get here. Cheers.

Comments

[PhillyProfessor]

Bond..... Jane S. Bond

[NoFactsJustTruth]

Not that I'd ever wish, Lady V, for what happened to you and your husband onto ANYONE else, but it's becoming more apparent EVERY day that the preznutz is taking us down the same road as before, and we'll desperately need additional hero patriots, ready and willing to set TRUTH to his lies.

Though it's likely to be awhile until it's official, OUR country cannot thank you nor repay you enough, nor can we revile those that betray or steal from OUR nation enough either.


Unfortunately, Iran already seems a done deal...

[Wilburrr]

Bought your book this evening at CostCo. Used Clinton's book to bury Ann Coulters crap on the display table. Looking forward to a great weekend of good reading...

[mamacat]

Perhaps you feel otherwise, but I think there is much that we can learn from you yet. I have read every one of your blogs, and look forward to reading more, please. You and your husband have seen and been through a lot, are very responsibe, caring people, and whether you like it or not, are natural leaders.

Regarding your first question, and your experience with PPD; it occurs to me that life experiences are a great educator, if only we can manage to survive them. While in no way comparing my own experiences with your own (I have led a very sheltered life, compared to you), I can not imagine getting through some of my darkest times without the aid of fantastic friends. How in the world anyone can make it without family and friends to help them through life's bad times, I really cannot imagine. I know my Dad had a terrible time with post-traumatic stress after WWII, but they didn't even have a name for it in those days. Thankfully, our Mom helped him through it.

[ghostsofamerica]

Ms.Plame, You seem quite human and refreshingly honest. My question to you is did you feel that you could be in danger for your life or your family's lives by the Bush Crime Family? I know that is something you would not easily talk about, but there is an incredible suicide rate among those who cross the fascists in power, those who have casually murdered over a million Iraqis, and are ramping up a war on Iran. You were, according to waynemadse­nreport.co­m, involved in the Iran intelligence gathering of WMD's and if you told the Bush Administration, there were no WMD's in Iraq, and he wanted to steal their oil, or attack them for Israel-Mossad's interest, Bush would find you to be a problem.

[realitytrumpsbull]

But after all of this, do you support impeachment or are you just going to write
more books or something?

http://www.impeachbush.org

[FogBelter]

Mrs. Wilson, when you were just a mysterious, pretty face on a magazine cover, I was thinking

"She's a looker, but what else does she bring to the table?"

Then, along with the rest of America, I had the opportunity to witness your poise under pressure, your strength through withering attacks by the Bush adminstration, and ultimately the eloquence and intelligence you displayed through your hearings before Congress, your various television interviews and your contributions here.

I look forward to reading "Fair Game".

In final analysis, I fear the Bush Administration has done a grave disservice to the United States by exposing you, and has damaged our National Security through that act. We need talented people like yourself protecting our country. Very unfortunate for all of us you are no longer in the field.

Thank you for sharing here at HuffPo and please don't be a stranger.

[gandydancer]

Thanks so much for speaking out. Both you and your husband have been like a breath of fresh air during the dark and dangerous period our country is going through. I hope you continue to blog and I'd like to hear from Joe also.

[NuAgeDok]

VPW - your posts are revealing, intimate, and honest expressions of what is most important to you and we as HuffPo faithful are grateful for your contributions.

Your common sense, cool headed approach to the exigenicies of life, whether personal or professional, is inspiring as well, since we have endured 70 months of the worst president in the history of our country, the constant assault on the sacred tenets of our constitution, the relentless degradation of the environment and the reckless disregard for anything that resembles a sane foreign policy.

Yours is a messsage of hope and strength and I look forward to hearing more of your takes on life and the world we find ourselves in. Thanks again.

[Shadow]

For Sure! Keep blogging if you can. Your husband also.

[dotmafia]

Ms. Plame,

I think you are fantastic and highly courageous and I greatly admire you. Please, please consider more blog posts on Huffpo speaking out against this deeply corrupt and criminal "administration", and it would be great to hear more from your husband as well. Take care.
_

[max]

Saw you 60 min Valarie. You look great in jeans. Thanks for your service and tell Joe he's a lucky man.

[Jennifer]

Thank you for being amazing. :D

Jenni

[TomR]

----
Did you have to sleep with anyone to get intelligence?
----

Too bad no one ever asked the president this question. It would certainly account for the decline in the presidency between Clinton and Bush.

- Tom

[steven]

DON'T GO PLEASE KEEP POSTING AND GET JOE TO DO SOME POSTS ALSO.
With alot of respect
Steve

[larry278]

Ms Huffington & editors: I'd be grateful if Ms Plame-Wilson's continued to be on HP. I'd be grateful if Joe Wilson wrote blogs & HP used the blogs. Could HP determine if V & J were willing to write blogs for HP on a regular basis?
OK, HP now has 2 requests for blog from the couple or as individuals. Maybe other readers of HP will feel the same. All HP reader need to do is as HP. You can use the contact form to avoid clogging the HP comments.