Two Best Friends Share the Journey of Battling Cancer Together

Each year, the Andre Sobel River of Life Foundation, offers an annual Essay Award to young survivors of a catastrophic illness as a chance to express the reality of their experiences.

 We get the opportunity to read some amazing stories of survival and triumph from what are the creative group of young people who continue to inspire our work.

This year's First Place winners of our essay contest, Katie Fitzgerald and Miranda Coleman, submitted entries as companion essays. Katie and Miranda have been best friends for eight years.

During this time, Katie has had to battle cancer, chemotherapy and a relapse. It has been a long journey, but since April 2011, she is now in remission. Katie and Miranda collaborated on their pieces together and came up with a unique way to document their fear, struggles, humor and what they needed from each other through that dark time. They are both grateful to have each other and their unbreakable bond that they as best friends only know.

For the next few weeks, we will share the winning essays and the amazing young adults behind these entries. More information and the full list of winners and their essays are available on our website. The following essays were written as a radio segment and a letter from Miranda to Katie.

Radio Host for a Day

Segment 1:

Introduction:

Hi, my name is Katie Fitzgerald, and I am taking over 92.5 KMF radio for an educational and exclusive inside look to the life of cancer patients. I was diagnosed with Hodgkin's Lymphoma when I was 16. I have been through two relapses, 13 rounds of chemo, 41 radiation treatments and a stem cell transplant. Today we'll be playing songs and answering viewer's questions that deal with cancer. Let's get started!

Question: Caller named Roy was just diagnosed and hasn't told anyone, "How did you tell people after you found out?"

I waited until the last minute before I trusted anyone with my diagnosis. It wasn't up I went from long hair to short hair that I told people. After the initial new hairdo change, they would expect all of it to be gone and it provided me a way to reach out to others and let them know. I needed someone to tell me how to let everyone around me know about my situation. I waited for something like hair loss to initiate those kinds of conversations.

Song Intermission:
"Why Can't we be Friends?" -- Smash Mouth
"Upside Down" -- Jack Johnson

Question: Caller named Beth just lost her hair, "How did you handle all the stares in public?"

Honestly, I almost had to be coaxed into heading out in to the world. I didn't know how people would react to seeing someone actually look sick. And all the staring was enough to get under anyone's skin. I started taking others with me into public and pretended that the pity look held in everyone's eyes was for the person walking with me and not trying to figure out what's wrong with me. But something you could try, just like they tell performers, just picture everyone else in their undergarments! Or think of how they would look without hair... They probably wouldn't look nearly as cute as you!

Song Intermission:
"Strip Me" -- Natasha Bedingfield
"I am" -- Hilary Duff

Segment 2:

Commercial:
Nauseous? And do you want to forget all of the craziness that comes with cancer? Well do we have a prescription for you! Ativan will be your new best friend. Just take one of these pills before every meal and when you start to feel sick to your tummy. It's guaranteed to take you on fun ride that you probably won't even remember. Warning: take only when needed and follow doctor's orders.

Question: Suzanne is currently going through treatment, "What helped you the most?"

The support system I had from my family at home was probably the biggest help. I also had amazing teachers to work with me through all of my missed assignments and lessons. I think I needed someone to tell me to reach out and lean on all the people around me who weren't afraid of how all the treatments were affecting me. Learn to trust people and don't be afraid to ask for help; this is too much to handle alone.

Song Intermission:
"Live it Up" -- Lee Dewyze
"Live Like We're Dying" -- Kris Allen

Question: Zane was just diagnosed, "What was the worst part?"

Oh my! The first thing that came to mind was the feeling of hunger. After every cycle of chemo I always felt hungry. My doctors also had me on steroids that boosted my desire for food. However, the constant feeling of nausea totally killed my appetite. Someone needed to tell me to stay away from all my favorite foods! I didn't want to eat my favorite comfort foods after I lost a few of them during treatment.

Commercial:
Are you looking to lose a few extra pounds? The only thing standing between you and a new body is a cancer diagnosis! Spending a few months in the hospital on a strict regimen of toxic poisons is a sure fire way to jumpstart a new you. Did I mention the added bonus of the delicious tastings of the hospital's cafeteria food? We just want to make your diet is as pleasant as possible. Nothing will make you feel better while you're nauseous like the scrumptious recipes of the cafeteria. Lucky for you, this new diet is just a phone call away! Please call 1-800-CancerBody for details.

Song Intermission:
"Apologize" -- One Republic
"Skin (Sara Beth)" -- Rascal Flatts

Segment 3:

Commercial:
Are you tired of making a mess every time you have a last minute urge to purge your latest meal? Well with this new pink "Chuck" bucket, you'll be left with only a single mess to clean up! "Chuck" can travel with you in the car, to your cozy spot on the couch and even sleep next to you in bed! This handy, made-to-go-anywhere companion is there to help you throughout any last minute accidents; guaranteed.

Question: A cancer researcher wants to know, "What did you need the most from the doctors?"

I really needed the doctors to reassure me and keep my confidence up with the treatment. They did an amazing job, though. I always had all the meds I needed and they answered the millions of questions I asked. I felt very comfortable with them, and that was very important to me. All throughout treatments, I never felt in the dark about anything, I was informed with an idea of what to expect.

Song Intermission:
"Lean on Me" -- Bill Withers
"How to Save a Life" -- The Fray

Question: Caller Justin has just relapsed and asks, "How did you handle your relapse?"

I didn't even know how to handle having to go through everything all over again. For a brief moment, I was so terrified life was over for me. I wish there was someone who could've told me that things were going to be OK. I needed reassurance and support from all of my loved ones and close friends. The treatment was more demanding, but having knowledge of what to expect from chemo and all the side effects, the treatment process runs a little more smoothly.

Song Intermission:
"Here it Goes Again" -- Ok go
"Breathe" -- Ryan Star

Segment 4:

Commercial:
Attention! All chemo patients -- a new hospital gown had just been released to replace the boring, everyday attire worn by civilians. And if that's not enough, we'll help you stand out in the hospital by allowing you to give every passer -- by the potential for a free peep-show! So, let's shed those boring attires for the new much needed designer gowns.

Question: Rhonda's son was just diagnosed, "What did you need most from those around you?"

I needed everyone around me to keep some sense of normalcy in my life. I know they were struggling with my diagnosis, but I really needed them to stop treating me differently. I was still the same exact person they knew me to be and I just wanted to be treated as a normal human being just like everyone else. I already had pity and curious looks from the rest of the world everywhere I went. I just needed a safe place and security from my family that I wasn't some fragile thing that could break at any second. I craved a normal environment where I wasn't being looked at like a spectacle, and they did the best they could to provide one.

Song Intermission:
"Love Me to Pieces" -- Erik Hassle
"I Won't Let Go" -- Rascal Flatts

Question: Ethan is a cancer survivor and had many different reactions to different foods, "What was the worst food reaction you came across?"

I think the worst food group for me was dairy! I wish my mom would've reminded me before a glass of milk or super cheesy quesadilla that after dairy has had a chance to digest it is sour and utterly disgusting when it comes back up on you. I needed a list of foods to avoid, that's for sure. Like I made mention earlier, your favorite foods or foods you just couldn't live without -- I would recommend skipping them completely. Another big iffy area for me was smells. Smell association was awful for me. I used gum, mints, and other hard candies to mask the taste of saline but the smell of anything spearmint afterward caused almost instant nausea. I would just give a warning saying that anything you may be a fan of could come back to haunt you if you aren't careful!

Song Intermission:
"Survivior" -- Destiny's Child
"Stronger" -- Kanye West

Segment 5:

Commercial:
Going through chemo? Have you reached the point where it's time to cover your new do? I have just the thing! Replace your hair with different colored head scarves that match any outfit. Nothing says fashion like these new hair replacements... after all, it's not your fault you have a new shiny, soft head.

A Final Note:

I thought I would conclude your day with me by offering a few helpful hints!

• Don't be stubborn or afraid to ask for help! People are willing to help and you just need to let them. Those closest to you are dealing with and going through a lot of what you are, so allow them to help you.


• Don't be afraid to take medication. I was one of the worst to wait until it was too late to take something for my nausea. I would always regret it too, because I hated throwing up more than anything.


• Sleep is so important. Get as much sleep as you can so you have the most energy throughout your days. Rest is so important for the body to heal. Going through treatment sends your body to hell and back. Even work in a little exercise here and there. When you're tired or not feeling well just rest, you'll need all the help you can to keep your energy up.

Thanks for spending the day with me on 92.5 KMF Radio! I hope all of you with lives that have been affected by cancer continue to reach out to support and educate the rest of America. We will find a cure one day!

--- Dear Katie,

It's been almost four months since your last treatment. I think we should agree that you can't get cancer again. Or maybe next time you could give me a heads up so I have some time to prepare. I'm just messing with you. Looking back I honestly don't know how we made it through.

There were so many things I didn't know and had to learn about cancer, you, and even myself. You've always been curious about what it is like to be on the outside looking in, so I made you a few lists. I think these lists will help you understand what it is like to be the sidekick.

"What I Needed to Know"

The Basics:

• I needed to understand that cancer is bad. It will suck the life right out of you with a little help from some chemo.
• Chemo is like a Sour Patch Kid... it's sour and then sweet; it will kill you before it helps you.
• Chemo is an easy process. It is just an IV. I assumed there would be someone in a lab coat with an evil laugh, armed with a syringe, scalpel, numerous needles, big instruments, and other dangerous items. I was a little off.
• Doctors don't care about your sleep or mine. I'm sure they live by the rule, "I'm awake, so you're awake."
• Hospital food is more dangerous than chemo. I'm just kidding. But it was horrific and my stomach hated me for quite some time, consider yourself lucky that you didn't have much of an appetite.
• There is no such thing as comfort in a hospital. The beds are not comfortable. The chairs are not comfortable. Nothing is comfortable.
• All the entertainment in the world such as, Facebook, the Wii, Spongebob, iPod apps, Angry Birds, How to Train your Dragon, or any other source of entertainment- will not be enough to overcome the boredom.
• It is good to know what each medicine is and the last time you took it because the last thing we need is the cancer patient overdosing on her cancer meds.
• Bring multiple articles of clothing to the hospital with me...accidents happen often.

Specific Things About You:

• You don't tell people when you are going to get sick so I always got a nice little random surprise, like when driving or in the middle of the night.
• You make a face when you start to feel sick. It took me a while to learn this one but once I did, it made it easier to predict the next surprise.
• I will need to know where "Chuck," your pink throw up bucket, is at all times.
• You don't like to be touched, held, or comforted when you don't feel well.
• Although, if I start talking about random statistics like, a ducks quack doesn't echo, you're less likely to get sick.
• You don't eat on the days you have to go to the hospital but, if you do eat, it will come back up shortly.
• Certain smells make you sick. Spearmint gum is the best example.

How Cancer Will Affect You:

• Chemo will make you weak. It will take all of your energy. It will kick your butt and, ironically enough, eventually save it too.


• You will look ghostly. Your eyes will get darker and sunken in, your skin will change colors, and you will lose your hair.


• Your confidence, faith, strength, will, and attitude will be tested and need to be built up with positivity every day.


• At first you will hate leaving the house. It will take some pushing to get you into public.


• There will come a time when you won't be able to speak because of all the drugs, I just have to tell be silent with you. Communication will be through the eyes, sense of touch, and of course text messaging.


• You will hardly remember any of this. The drugs they give you such as Ativan and Morphine will help you feel like it was more a dream than reality.


• You will be bitter.


• You will cry frequently out of frustration, sadness, and helplessness. Don't worry I know to keep tissues.


• Your nose will bleed astronomical amounts of blood.


• You will be fragile. I have to be careful not to squeeze you to death, literally.


• Your strength and willpower will prevail even if at times I doubt it.


• Cancer will weaken you physically, mentally, and emotionally. But when you are cured you will be better, stronger, a fighter, and more importantly a survivor. You will have the strength to overcome any obstacle.

What to Know for Myself:

• I am not the cure.
• Cancer will take away every aspect of my best friend. You won't remember most of the conversations we had, your actions, or the things we did. You won't be able to really listen to my problems or give me advice.
• It's okay to cry, be frustrated, question everything, feel exhausted, and hopeless.
• I will doubt my own strength, my relationships, my beliefs, and everything else.
• I will be extremely protective of you.
• I will experience a deeper level of fear than I ever thought possible.
• When I'm frustrated I need to remember how much I love you.
• I will need to remember to breathe, relax, and calm down.
• A journal and iPod will be my best friends. Along with ice cream and any dollar menu.

Well my lists turned out a little longer than I had planned but you should be able to understand what it is like on the outside looking in. I just wanted to let you know that I admire your inner strength, your will to persevere, your positivity, and your overall being. I couldn't be prouder to call you my best friend.

143
[1(I) 4(love) 3(you)],
Miranda

 

Follow Valerie Sobel on Twitter: www.twitter.com/asriveroflife