by Julie Miller, Vanity Fair
In order of the least to most depressing revelations:
1) Howard Stern earns $15 million per year at his part-time job on America's Got Talent. It's also what Bill O'Reilly earns annually for his primary job hosting The O'Reilly Factor.
2) Pauly D, spray-tanned beachgoer best known for fist pumping and binge drinking on MTV, earns 350 percent more than Betty White does on her reality show. (Pauly comes in at $175,000/episode on The Jersey Shore, while White makes $50,000/episode on Off Their Rockers.)
3) Two and a Half Men star Ashton Kutcher makes the same as four adult Modern Family stars per episode. (Kutcher's rate is $700,000/episode versus Modern Family's $175,000/episode rate.)
4) Thanks to a lucrative $45 million syndication deal for her namesake court-room show, crotchety TV personality Judge Judy earns more than David Letterman ($28 million) and Jon Stewart ($16 million) do on theirs, combined. (Also surprising: Judge Judy has a last name, Sheindlin.) Second-rate television public officer Joe Brown makes a comparatively measly $20 million per year.
5) Crystal the Monkey -- for anyone who did not catch that, again, it's Crystal the Monkey -- has scrawled(?) a $12,000/episode deal for her upcoming ABC comedy, Animal Practice. As a point of reference, this is twice what Mario Batali, actual human and acclaimed chef, earns per episode of ABC's The Chew.
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