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Vicky Kuperman

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I'll Take My Eggs Over, Please! A Woman's Confession About Children

Posted: 04/27/2012 12:57 pm

Some people like their eggs over easy. I prefer mine... over. No, really. Sometimes I feel like I'm the only woman in her early 30s in New York City focusing on a job, passion, friends, volunteer work and travel without one tiny thing on that checklist currently marked as "to do... later?"

That tiny thing I'm talking about is a baby. It's born with toenails and eyelashes and makes people all over the world lose their breath and finally know what real love feels like.

Well, guess what. I know what real love feels like. I've fed a fawn at the zoo. The love and connection I felt with that baby deer couldn't be less strong than one a mother shares with a newborn baby that has just been put in her arms.

Okay, all kidding aside -- let's be honest.

Not everyone wants children and I am one of those people. Over the past few years, this desire to not have kids has grown and germinated inside me as other woman grow and germinate offspring. My friends, family and the world around me continue to grow more and more upset with my choice, questioning my decision (or lack thereof). They would put me on a tribunal if they could, cross-examining me until I cracked.

Let's not underestimate the amount of convincing I've endured:

"But it says here, in a 1988 journal entry written in the Berkshires, that you couldn't wait to be a mom."

"I was eight-years-old then. I was at camp. It said I couldn't wait to go HOME."

"You know why you were at a nice camp in the mountains? Because you had parents who cared. Why wouldn't you want to carry that tradition on?"

"If they cared so much why did they leave me at a camp I hated?"

"But you held your friend's baby with such ease. You'd be a great mom."

"I held it because it was put in my arms against my will and I didn't want it to get a concussion. I'd be the first person they'd blame. I was smiling because it's my way of showing I'm angry. I show angry well. When I'm sad I laugh. When I'm in pain, I make tacos. When I'm confused, I do long division."

"You have such a great sense of humor. I bet your children would, too. Don't worry, you'll find a guy."

There's really no winning. The way people react when you tell them you do not want to reproduce is enough to make you think you are offending every fiber of their being. But on a good note, I am getting more and more confident about my horrendous, selfish and inexcusable choice of not having children.

Here are five signs you know you don't want children. You can embrace this at any age and any stage of your life:

1. You beg your doctor for an infertility test and hope that the results come back doomed.
2. You notice/prefer people's dogs over their babies -- and don't hide it.
3. There is a pacifier in your house but it's from a 1995 rave in Providence.
4. When someone texts you a picture of their baby, you fall asleep.
5. You hang pictures of baby clothes on your closet... to inspire yourself to fit into them.

Well, with all that being said, maybe I'll adopt one day, when I'm 45 and my eggs really are... over. Can't wait!

If you want to see me do stand-up comedy live, please check out my schedule and come say hi!

 

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Some people like their eggs over easy. I prefer mine... over. No, really. Sometimes I feel like I'm the only woman in her early 30s in New York City focusing on a job, passion, friends, volunteer work...
Some people like their eggs over easy. I prefer mine... over. No, really. Sometimes I feel like I'm the only woman in her early 30s in New York City focusing on a job, passion, friends, volunteer work...
 
 
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07:16 PM on 05/15/2012
I applaud you for your honesty. Motherhood is not for everyone, and it's nice that you can be so open about it.
03:34 AM on 05/08/2012
REally funny, until the line about wanting to fit into itty bitty baby clothes :(
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11:30 AM on 05/07/2012
I'm 26 years old tomorrow, and was told about a year ago by my doctor that it would be difficult for me to have children. Thankfully, I never even wanted children. Even growing up, as a child I never wanted to play with dolls. My sister, who is 10 years older, has 4 children. I always tell her she had enough for both of us! :-)

PS- If you ever meet someone who doesnt have children, try not to ask why. They may not be able to. And that would be awkward for you :-)
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krsims20
11:20 AM on 04/30/2012
I know what she means, in Ecuador, where I am from; if you say you don't want kids... you are crazy. Even if you are a guy and say that, you are weird. Not having children is seen as a fail. That is why I moved to America, where people will question, but not interfere with your choices.
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Brygida Biedro
A liberal woman in conservative society
05:56 AM on 05/03/2012
Same here in Poland. You are a woman - you must want to have kids!
03:37 AM on 05/08/2012
I totally don't get wanting to have kids. Why would anyone do that to herself?!! As if I don't have enough to do!

I'm too busy trying to save the planet to want to cancel out all of my efforts and then some by having....a baby, LOL!!
08:55 PM on 04/29/2012
Yesterday I was at a caucus and was having a perfectly-good conversation with the mother of one of the delegates.

Here comes the question, apropos of nothing, "Do you have any children?"

I said "Nope, never."

She said "Maybe someday."

I said "I never have and I never will."

She got a twinkle in her eye, and smiled, and said "Never say never!"

I said "Okay, I won't say 'never'. Instead I'll say 'surgically impossible'."

The conversation IMMEDIATELY went back to political matters.
08:32 PM on 04/29/2012
Marriage, as we all know, is a prison for women. I think it's much better to focus on your career and enjoy a lifetime of multiple partners or co-habitation.
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krsims20
11:22 AM on 04/30/2012
I think you just changed my entire perspective on relationships. Thank you! I like your idea!
isisreptiles
Pro-choice, pro marriage equality
11:27 PM on 05/05/2012
I've been married for a long time. I've never thought of marriage as a prison. OTOH, I see motherhood as a prison.

Frankly, the idea of focusing on a career and having a lifetime of multiple partners sounds very depressing.
06:35 PM on 04/29/2012
I never wanted to have children. I don't like kids. I've never really been around kids, other than the kids from when I was a teacher (I did like them). I begged and convinced my boyfriend of 15 years not to have them. then bam I hit 36 and now want a child. I'm having a panic attack about it, but I do know that I want one. I still can't stand being around other people's kids. So never say never, you might wake up one day and suddenly poof you want a kid. If you suddenly start thinking puppies or baby birds are much more cute than normal, uhoh you might get bit with the bug! In addition, six months ago I said that I would never stay home and take care of a child because I'd be bored. I am a career woman and have busted my butt to get to a management position. Our initial agreement was that my boyfriend would stay home and take care of the kid or I would have a nanny during the day. now suddenly for past two months I am saving for possibility of if I might want to stay home with kid for a while, because I have learned that anything is possible and that I will never know what I really want until it happens. don't get me wrong, every time "the month" arrives when we are supposed to start trying to get pregnant, I keep pushing it back.
03:40 AM on 05/08/2012
LOL, what the hell happened to you ;)
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geauxangel
10:57 PM on 05/08/2012
Don't panic..you still have time...I got pregnant with my third child, no fertility treatments, last year at the ripe old age of 41...he is 16 months old and perfect....and it's good that you are thinking of staying home with your baby..believe me, once you have him/her in your arms, you won't think of going back to work until you have to...those early months go by so fast, and you won't want to miss the precious moments....good luck to you!
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SmileAndActNice
Utilitarianism, the -ism that works.
04:46 PM on 04/29/2012
I think society should feel guilty for adopting family-unfriendly policies.

Of course birth rates go down when you punish people financially for having kids.

Duh.
04:39 PM on 04/29/2012
There are so many people in this world who should never have been parents (especially the ones who abused or murdered their children). If you really feel comfortable with your decision not to have children, then I think that is great. Children are a wonderful blessing, but they are not for everyone. They take a lot of care, time and attention and maybe the abusive parents discovered too late that they were not cut out for parenthood. One does not have to procreate to have a meaningful life.
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geauxangel
10:58 PM on 05/08/2012
You are so right...just because you can have kids doesn't mean you should..some people should never be/never have been parents....
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DSevere
Deviant mind
02:13 PM on 04/29/2012
Thank you. I have never, ever wanted kids, and have the good luck to be happily married to a man who never, ever wanted them either. We've been together for more than 13 years, co-own a small creative business (which we can happily, and without guilt, devote workaholic hours to) and always have 3 rescued dogs. Works for me.

As for people making rude comments, I've always liked this line: "I really prefer dogs. They're easier to train and you don't have to send them to college." And then I smile. People will either laugh and the conversation will veer off into the cost of college, or the person will be shocked and have nothing to say, and that will be that...
02:19 PM on 04/29/2012
So true. The shackles of marriage and motherhood are an unending gulag for many. Women were meant to be single, run with the wolves and experience Life.
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SmileAndActNice
Utilitarianism, the -ism that works.
04:32 PM on 04/29/2012
I would say, rather, that humans were meant to have communal childcare. We evolved for millions of years with the ability to drop off the little ones with the village story tellers and go out and gather any time we wanted for as long as we wanted.

Which occasionally involved fighting off wolves and definitely involved exploration, problem solving, muscle building, and exercise highs.

Then we spent 10 thousand years post-agriculture as skilled specialists providing the entire species with all the textiles, rope, pottery, soap, candles, dyes, beer, spirits, preserved food, etc that we consumed. Every woman was a home-based entrepreneur pursing her craft and trading her excess for what she didn't make herself. Since we were now home based, the communal childcare tradition died. Instead babies were cribbed, daughters worked with their moms to learn her trade and sons went with fathers to learn his trade as soon as they could fetch/carry.

Then the machines came and took our jobs leaving us nothing to do in the house. And father's were told they could no longer take their sons to work.

It is time to return to communal childcare. Free. All hours.
03:44 AM on 05/08/2012
Whenever people ask me if I'm married, or ever have been, and I say, "No!" they always laugh knowingly.

It's the funniest thing...if they're married, they all seem to think that's funny!

Which says a lot. Apparently I made the right choice, LOL.
10:00 PM on 04/29/2012
If you say that about dogs, there are people who will counter with the argument that having a dog is like living with a toddler for 10 to 15 years. They can't feed themselves and they can never be fully trained not to have accidents. They will always have to rely on someone to take care of them.
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DSevere
Deviant mind
11:40 PM on 04/29/2012
Well, then they don't have to have a dog, do they. I can happily have dogs, and they can happily have children, and all can be well in the land. I believe in live and let live. But I get really irritated with people who want to tell me how I'm supposed to live my life.
03:47 AM on 05/08/2012
LOL, I'd take a dog over a baby any day.

One will unconditionally love you and are waayy less maintenance;)

Not to mention they cost less in food.

And training them costs way less than college ;)
Now I really want a dog.
01:22 PM on 04/29/2012
Nothing wrong with not wanting kids. I'll be 25 in June and I'm already in "get off my lawn, you damn brats" mode. I'd rather have puppies and kittens instead of kids. I can deal with a ruined carpet or ruined furniture. I can't do that with a ruined life.
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geauxangel
11:04 PM on 05/08/2012
My 17 year old daughter despises kids...she would never have them...nothing wrong with that...better than having kids and still despising them....
11:23 AM on 04/29/2012
In response to some of the comments:

I think it's great for people who don't want children to not have them. I also think it's rude to push them to have kids. At the same time, I don't think people who say rude or insensitive things are defensive or jealous. I think it's usually just stupidity and sometimes wanting to help you have something that enriched their life.

And I think sometimes it's in response to the way people talk about why they don't have children.

When someone says they're doing it for the environment, it's natural for a parent to disagree and say why they think it's okay to have kids anyway. (It also suggests that you actually want children so if they could show you that it won't hurt the environment, you'll be happier.)

When someone says they don't want to give up their career, travel, money, time, etc. it does sound selfish.

And if you say you're afraid of losing out in your career or that you don't want to have your marriage ruined or lose yourself, it sounds like maybe you would really like to have a child, but you just think parenting is worse than it is. Again, a friend might think they should reassure you.

If you say you don't like kids, well, you can't expect people who love their own children more than life to like you.

It's a difficult situation and I think both sides can be insensitive without meaning to.
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SmileAndActNice
Utilitarianism, the -ism that works.
03:52 PM on 04/29/2012
What they need is to make enough to afford a nanny.

Motherhood is great when someone else is doing the icky bits.

Interestingly, the best way to do this is to focus on your career. So it works out.
08:50 PM on 05/02/2012
Well, most moms with nannies still end up changing diapers and cleaning up vomit sometimes. And most moms don't have this choice - it's actually basically impossible for all moms to have nannies - the best you can do is to either have a society where 1/2 the women are poor and the other 1/2 get to have nannies or make all women be nannies when young (or old) and get to have careers later (or earlier). (You can put men in, but you still end up with 1/2 poor.) A bit of a digression, I suppose, but the point is that concentrate on your career so you can have kids isn't going to work for most women - and wouldn't be great advice either. Better to just not have kids if you don't want to be a parent.
03:04 AM on 04/30/2012
All of that totally makes sense. But the questions/comments I've got about having kids (or not) have always come with no prompting. I don't bring up the topic.
08:31 PM on 05/02/2012
That must be frustrating. The trick is figuring out how to answer the questions so that they'll move on to another topic, I think.
10:45 AM on 04/29/2012
I'm glad whenever people who don't want kids don't have them, but the humor is always off-putting. Yes, loving a baby is like nothing else. No, I don't really like people who prefer dogs to babies. Yes, if you find it boring when I talk about what's important to me (my kid), I don't want to hang out with you.
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SmileAndActNice
Utilitarianism, the -ism that works.
04:04 PM on 04/29/2012
I actually do this thing where I'm interested in lots of things and the folks I do various things with are frequently not interested in other facets of my life. I look for a point of commonality to make a friend. I don't look for a point of dissimilarity to negate a friendship.
08:45 PM on 05/02/2012
I think most of our friends have some interests in common with us and some not, so we talk about the things we have in common. Kids are different, I think. They aren't an interest. They're one of the most important relationships in your life, if you have them. Just as I would hope a friend would listen if I talk about my worries about my elderly relative's illness, I would hope a friend will not think it's boring when I talk about my children. Honestly, if they do, I would not want to bother hanging out with them. It's different from a friend who doesn't want to talk about the Republican primaries or the books I like.
07:46 AM on 05/03/2012
Why would you NOT like people who prefer dogs to babies? That, to me, makes NO SENSE. Humans are humans. If you met a person you liked and got along with but found out they are childfree, then what? Will you reject them on the spot? Why not accept a person's right to CHOOSE and leave it at that? Why does it have to be some weird competition or parents versus childfree/childless all the time? It's absolutely ridiculous!
03:16 AM on 04/29/2012
Okay, you not wanting to have kids is your choice and I respect that, I won't say anything to change your mind because I don't care. But in terms of evolution, scientifically, it's a disgrace. And again in terms of evolution, it's the survival of the strongest, as you're not one of the strong, since you're not willing to reproduce.
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avicenna
07:24 AM on 04/29/2012
As a scientist, that is absolutely hilarious - as science does not put notions of personal choice as being "disgraceful" or not. It should be recognized that we have long stopped "selecting for" the "strongest" of our kind. Medical science now supports people who would otherwise have terminal illness (such as diabetes) and allows them to pass on their genes; women who are otherwise infertile (or have conditions such as polycytic ovary syndrome) are now able to also pass on their genes through fertility treatments - so in essence it could be argued that the human genome is actually less reproductively fit than it was before. It has also been noted that women who are the most educated (i.e. the PhDs and CEO's) have opted against having children or have fewer of them than those women who put marriage and family as a top priority over career and education. This may again select against those who have a capacity for individual drive and vision. If those women - like Mrs. Drugger - are your vision of the strongest due to their compulsion to reproduce, then perhaps it isn't such a bad thing being a weakingly in a world tipping at 7 billion and ready to implode.
11:40 AM on 04/29/2012
I agree with you that we've reversed evolution. But maybe in a population of 7 billion, I'm sure there are more "strong" than the "weak". Consider this, if 1.2 billion people can survive without regular access to clean drinking water, I tend to consider them more strong than others, at least in terms of immune systems.
04:31 AM on 05/08/2012
Brilliant reply. And Lynn Margulis, Nobel prize winning microbiologist, discovered that "survival of the fittest" in nature isn't survival of the strongest or most dominant. It turns out, as she observed countless times under her microscope, the "fittest" who survived were those organisms that could best cooperate with other organisms, not compete against them :)

But then, it's not surprising a woman scientist would discover that, and partially and brilliantly debunk Darwin!
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SmileAndActNice
Utilitarianism, the -ism that works.
04:14 PM on 04/29/2012
I don't think you "get" evolution.

Riddle me this. Why does homosexuality exist?

One of the best theories is the "gay aunt/uncle" hypothesis. A bloodline that produces the occasional drone ( non-reproductive worker ) has more resources per child as the non-reproductive adult is still helping out with the families children. Their children are more likely to survive and thrive with the additional time/wealth.

The use of the word "drone" there being very specific to invoke ant and bee hives where the vast majority of the females are non-reproducing in what is clearly the result of evolution. Now since our reproductive capacity is vastly smaller than a bee or ant's we clearly won't have as many drones as they do. But a few are a good thing.

Remember dear, Momma nature doesn't care how many live children you bear. She cares how many survive to adulthood to reproduce in turn. She'd rather I have two kids that are strong and healthy than four that are sickly and stunted from hunger - two of which die before puberty.
04:49 PM on 04/29/2012
Sure, we agree on having two healthy children rather than having 4 potentially unhealthy ones. I was initially talking about wanting to have "none" at all.

We do not necessarily need drones, specifically as the homosexual members of the family, because in most cases other members (e.g. grand parents) add resources too. Not all families have homosexual aunts/uncles, and that alone is not a deficiency.

I don't think I can tell you why homosexuality exists. That's an interesting topic too. Is it genetic or not? I personally doubt it's genetic, because I assume not many homosexual individuals reproduce and pass on their genes. So it might me something else. Do you have a call on that?
01:03 AM on 04/29/2012
I used to think that I didn't want kids, but now that I'm 28 and in a serious relationship with a guy who clearly would be an incredible father, I'm turning around. In fact, there has always been a part of me that knows if I miss my opportunity to have kids I'll never forgive myself.

But I don't think having kids is for everyone. It's unfortunate parents, friends, and families put so much pressure on their children (esp women) to have kids if they don't want any.

Right now, I want kids, but the time isn't right yet. I'm so busy with my career that I can't imagine having kids until I'm in my mid 30s. It may be too late at that point, but I'm hoping it won't be. If it is too late, though, I'm not looking forward to all of the negative talk from my family about how I missed my opportunity, when I'll already be secretly devastated.
10:40 AM on 04/29/2012
There are a few things you can do to increase your chances of having a baby later on - don't get STDs/be safe/limit your number of partners; don't smoke, do drugs or drink too much; and eat well and get exercise. Avoiding STDs is critical.
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Mary Poe
01:35 PM on 04/29/2012
It will not be too late. I was 33 when I had my first. Live your life the way you want to at your own pace. And, there is never a perfect time to have kids.
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geauxangel
11:19 PM on 05/08/2012
I was 41 when I had my son last year..no fertility treatments...old fashioned way...you have time.