Dear K,
Don't think I didn't notice who you were meant to be before you even took a seat at the front of my classroom. Your outgoing nature didn't fool me either, more so it was refreshing to see someone like you appear happy and content in high school. However, I noted your love of snap back hats, reference to yourself by alternative masculine names, and shivers when you were called a girl. I detected your interest in transgender novels, many of which I had seen in stores but never got around to reading myself. I was so glad you were reading by the way! What I'm trying to relate to you is that you were not invisible to me; I knew you were admirable from the rest of your classmates.
What might have been invisible about me was that I myself was more in tune with your identity than most due to my husband's journey, and more honestly, his battle transitioning to male. He had many fireside chats with me about the dreaded high school memories he held and what it would have meant to him to have just spoken to someone, anyone, who would have listened or respected him. So don't be alarmed when I say a student like yourself filled me with an unwavering obligation to look out for your well-being more than most.
This concern for you became especially true when your usual jolliness disintegrated into a solemn sadness. I knew something was troublesome so I asked you if you were okay. Maybe it was then that you saw me as a teacher you could trust for the first time, or maybe it was the vast amount of LGBT+ paraphernalia littered throughout my classroom, or maybe it was what I mentioned about my own non binary identity in the LGBT+ club I started in your school, but you knew it was time to talk and I was the person who was going to hear it.
You relayed to me the stress you were feeling at home and how your parents did not understand your transgender identity or pronouns or fashion sense. You bellowed out your struggle for space to be you and to not be seen as 'perverted', 'odd', or 'out of place'. You emphasized your inner depression and want to 'run away' from the world that made you 'this way'. This hurt to hear; so many of the trans men in my life were expressing the same feelings as you, and your worries reminded me of the sad reality for many of these people close to me. However, it was enchanting to see your perseverance and strength to remain yourself, regardless of the bullying you were enduring and, more importantly, to keep positive about your education!
Since then, your persistent visitations to my classroom at lunch times to give me updates on your day, your much needed presence at the LGBT+ club in the school, and your creative story writing about trans characters, have given you pride in your trans identity. I would compare your journey as a trans student to a well-deserved chocolate donut after a four hour marathon. You deserve to be YOU. In fact, I'm honored you finally reached a place in your life where you can feel like yourself in life and in my classroom.
I want to thank you for your confidence and courage to disclose your identity to me and try new things each day (even if those things are new styles of jeans or brands of shoes). You have shown me, as a teacher, the ability I can have to make LGBT+ students feel validated and respected just by watching, listening, and advocating every day for their well-being and visibility. You've also made me aware of my own impact on young people, not just academically but personally as well. You remind me every time I enter my classroom of how important it is to be a human that trans youth can talk to without fear of being judged or disregarded. Sadly, this is not always the case for others like you in schools around the world.
I truly thank you and am proud of the distance you have traveled in your journey. I hope I have helped make your school year a better one that you will enjoy remembering. I wish you all the best in your next few years of high school and on your upcoming exams!!
Mx Soave