Boomer Power. It is all over the news. The recent PEW Report publicized our massive size; 78 million in the U.S. alone will be 65 this year and 10,000 more reaching that milestone each day for the next 19 years. According to The Wall Street Journal our numbers are enough to propel a shift in marketing campaigns of major companies around the world. "Boomers" they say, "drove the growth of the hula hoops, bell bottoms," and "will continue to be an influential market as it ages." We account for about half of all U.S. consumer spending, reports SymphonyIRI, a research firm that predicts trends. Boomers, they say, will likely splurge close to $50 billion on themselves in the next 10 years, rather than pass their money on to future generations. Analysts at Standards & Poor write, "No other force is likely to shape the future of national economic health, public finances and policy making as the irreversible rate at which the world's population is aging."
Boomer Power is ablooming. What's next? The responsibility that comes with all that influence and clout.
Recent articles on The Huffington Post featured Boomer Power too. "Feeling Invisible? Readers Weigh In and Speak Out," sent a rally cry to the 50 and over crowd; "Ignore us at your own risk. We will buy what we want to buy, and it may very well be something other than what you're selling." Another blogger wrote, "Baby Boomers Can Find Strength in Numbers," saying, "We can use the major asset we have as a group -- the wisdom of age -- and turn it into collective wisdom. We can use our numbers and apply the wisdom of age to change the age we live in." Clearly, we Boomers are banding together, sensing our influence, and asserting our power. Isn't it time to shift from defending, explaining and congratulating ourselves, to setting an example for the generations that follow?
Understandably, we've been more than just a little self-preoccupied with figuring this aging thing out -- how to remain vital and visible in a youth obsessed culture. It's been challenging even for those of us with good health, stable jobs and loving families, a challenge I wrote about in another piece posted here titled "Aging in a World of Narcissism." It seems we've been so focused on ourselves, we've failed to notice that the guys and gals we see in our rearview mirrors could use a bit of guidance. These 30 and 40 year olds are seeking role models for how to let go, move on and land on their feet. Matthew Perry, one of the stars of "Friends," now on a new show, "Mr. Sunshine," recently told The New York Times, "I used to spend a lot of time just thinking about myself, thinking that the party started when I showed up," the 41 year old actor said. "I'm far from that man, now." Very public about his emotional struggles since the end of "Friends," Perry, says former TV exec, Jamie Tarses, has "the perspective of someone who has finally started the journey to figuring things out, how to live a more enlightened life."
Perry's journey reminds me of other men and women in his generation who respond to articles I write here about the psychology of aging ("When It Comes to Aging Real is Really In," "Cosmetic Drugs Gone Too Far" and "Too Young to Look Old"). This younger group thinks a lot about what midlife will be like for them, concerned that ageism will impact their work and relationships too. Their responses are at times empathic, "We worry about looking older and becoming invisible even at our age," wrote one. But many are more critical, even defiant about these concerns. "Come on" one wrote, "get over yourselves, stop obsessing about gray hairs, sags, bags, wrinkles." Another commented, "You left us a world with too little money and too many people. Stop being so narcissistic!" Easy for them to say, still a decade or two away from the big 50, but maybe they have a point.
In our defense, this aging thing has taken many Boomers by surprise. We are just now beginning to figure out our own age-related enlightenment, so involved were we in protesting the Vietnam War, fighting for Civil Rights and in the Feminist Revolution. And, of course, in own partying -- the kind that brought us Dylan, Woodstock, drugs and peace rallies. As we entered our 40s and slid into our 50s, we built our lives around never missing a beat, determined to keep "Our bodies, Ourselves" strong and youthful, planning to be forever young. Trainers, treadmills, Pilates, facials, dermatologists, ophthalmologists and even psychotherapists became as much a part of our life's routine as raising children and going to work.
So this is my issue; Is there anything we now do routinely -- outside of working, caring for our families, looking after our health and our appearance -- to make our world a better place? A corny question, I know, that risks more than a few rolling eyes as it is read and reminds me of the equally corny lyrics once sung by Michael Jackson, (who, by the way, would now be in his fifties!), "If you care enough for the living, make a better place for you and for me." But if you are like me, one of the 1.5 billion Boomers who may be living on this earth by 2050, (a U.N estimate), perhaps it's a question worth pondering.
What if those of us who want to leave our narcissism behind, let our actions speak? How about we take the responsibility that comes by nature of our massive numbers and add to our "self-care" regimens, one activity, once a week -- yes, I mean scheduling it into our appointment books -- that doesn't just focus on ourselves? Something that is not about helping us look and feel great, but that routinely serves to create meaning. It can be about giving back in ways we already do -- the donations or service we offer to charities, causes and campaigns -- but it also can be about small acts of daily kindness and caring. Real Boomer power is about becoming worthy role models for the next generation.
This week on "CBS Sunday Morning," Herb Alpert, the Grammy Award winning trumpeter, talked about keeping music alive through his support for the Harlem School of the Arts. "I know it sounds a little corny. I get it. I dig it," he said about his philanthropic work. He is doing his share, at age 75, showing Boomers how to age with grace and generosity. Julianne Moore told InStyle magazine this week, "One thing a 50th birthday does is say: All right, time is marching. You have these things you're happy with and proud of. But if there's something you haven't done that you've been waiting to do, then by all means, don't want any longer. Do it!" On "Morning Joe" she described what "doing it" meant to her -- working with Save the Children. In March, Moore will grace the cover of InStyle magazine, looking vibrant and beautiful, but her actions speak for themselves.
How will my actions today reflect Boomer responsibility? Well, my daughter's friend needs help shooting her "no budget" documentary called, "The Longevity of Love." I offered to be her production assistant, helping her film my in-laws, aged 98 and 93, while they tell the story behind their 72 years of marriage. I may not fit in time to work out, but somehow I think this is going to make me feel far better at the end of the day.
Tell us the one thing you would do to show the next generation what aging and wisdom is really about? Just imagine, if generations joined together, one kind act, one day at a time, how powerful we could be to "make a better place" for us all.
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Vivian Diller, Ph.D. is a psychologist in private practice in New York City. She has written articles on beauty, aging, media, models and dancers. She serves as a consultant to companies promoting health, beauty and cosmetic products. "Face It: What Women Really Feel As Their Looks Change" (2010), written with Jill Muir-Sukenick, Ph.D. and edited by Michele Willens, is a psychological guide to help women deal with the emotions brought on by their changing appearances. For more information, please visit www.VivianDiller.com
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As an instructor in a rural somewhat conservative area of the U.S. I could similarly generalize about youth who enter Jr. College. Many totally discount older people, don't even look at them as if they are significantly functional human beings. It's up to experts in the field to determine whether this is worse than it once was or is simply more of the same. Many of these younger people will have to learn the hard way, pay the price that everyone pays for narrow-mindedness and ignorance. However what I experience is only a slice of the young population: the students that don't go straight into a four year institution. So I wouldn't be accurate really generalize this slice to youth in general.
Actually, if you read my book Face It, you will find it's all about is helping women get past their concerns over getting 'work' on their faces in order to harness their energy toward more meaningful work. There are narcissistÂic boomers and narcissistÂic Gen X and Yers. There are thoughtfulÂ, caring people of all ages. I am a psychologiÂst who devotes a lot of my time to caring for others, lecturing and writing (yes, most of the time for free). The point of this piece was to reach out to others in my age group and remind them to live according to the values we have stood for in so many ways --innovatiÂon, social reform, caring for others.---Âand suggesting we put our efforts toward helping the next generation identify with those values. Thanks for taking time to comment.
Actually, ir you took the time to read beyond the title of my book, Face It (which you clearly won't, since it's not your issue), you will find that what it's all about is helping women get past their concerns over getting 'work' on their faces in order to harness their energy toward more meaningful work. There are narcissistic boomers and narcissistic Gen X and Yers. There are thoughtful, caring people of all ages. I am a psychologist who devotes a lot of my time to caring for us, lecturing and writing (yes, most of the time for free), to pass on ideas and stimulate conversation. The point of this piece was to reach out to others in my age group and remind them to live according to the values we have stood for in so many ways --innovation, social reform, caring for others.---and suggesting we put our efforts toward helping the next generation identify with those values.
If some have a face lift or three to improve their appearance in their eyes, so what! It does not negate their contribution to society and an entire bloody generation at that! So who's bitching exactly?
It doesn't mean they don't provide service or support charities. however, whether they do or don't is still their business. They have absolutely nothing to prove.
Some comments/accusations here really irk me, you know.
One of my heart friends is 71, rich, has 2 homes on 2 continents, is an alcoholic, a superb painter and the biggest heart I have ever encountered in a 5ft frame. I have never seen one woman work so damn hard for others. She drinks because she's afraid she will lose her talent. I haven't yet persuaded her that that's impossible.
Her friends are the same and none of them talk about their service, not one! Did I mention she's had 3 face lifts. And guess what people, those physical attributes of money are irrelevant!
Accept that people are contributing as they wish & for those who are not, big deal. We will all get along just fine because they too have their role to play.
LifeChangeStartsNow - I am having a tough time as well understanding the intensity behind some of the comment/accusations here, but as I read them all I'm learning that the younger generation truly doesn't get what Boomers are about. It's one of the reasons I'm glad this piece opened the conversation. And I will follow up with another.
The younger groups see us as having had the opportunity to go through our own existential questioning in the 60s and having the luxury of emerging from it, finding meaningful work, becoming successful and now looking toward retiring. I believe they think we've left them with a world that looks very scary to them. They don't see themselves as having those life luxuries or time to develop them. They are entering the work world with fewer jobs and opportunities. They see signs that our world is in danger, literally. I believe they see Boomers as being past caring. Which is just not true and why I wrote this piece.
The only way I disagree with your comment, is that I believe we do have a responsibility to the next generation, to teach them how to age with grace and generosity. I don't feel we can just step back and let that responsibility go. I hope this responds to your comment.
That was a problem in antiquity.
Ancient Greeks couldn't stand the music their kids liked.
What precisely are we supposed to learn from him now? Why should we care?
As for natural resources--all generations use: water, fossil fuels, trees, and benefit from the products that have toxic chemicals as a by-product, and YOU do too.
Could the Boomers and Greatest Gen have been more responsible in these areas? Sure they could have, but so could much of GenX and Gen Y.
So, as a Boomer who is closer in age to GenX, I'd say we both have a right to be angry, but here's the thing--blaming others accomplishes nothing, while taking responsibility for ourselves, as you sound as though you are doing, changes EVERYTHING. So, let's do our best, regardless of generation to clean up the mess that has been created by our GOVERNMENT. Playing the L vs R, or Generation vs Generation game, just plays into their hands as it takes the focus off of them, and they are the ones who write the laws and spend OUR money.
Cheers
BTW--you are 100% correct about water. i heard a speaker in the late 90's say that future wars will be fought over clean water, NOT oil, and I have no doubt that he is correct.
1) moving out of the city onto 4.5 acres where I grow food and fruit trees,
2) capturing and filtering rain water,
2) living close to work so that I only drive 12 miles a day,
3) no longer purchasing or consuming any processed foods or GMOs
4) living in only 500 sq. ft. of heated and cooled space, rather than 2000 sq. ft.
5) teaching everyone who wants to learn about sustainability, though few in my area are interested.