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Vivian Diller, Ph.D.

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Does Beauty Bring Happiness?

Posted: 09/19/2011 5:23 pm

After shedding 100 pounds and enjoying her 'natural' new look, 60-year-old actress Kirstie Alley said last week, "I haven't had plastic surgery and here's the reason: I don't think it makes you look younger. I think it can make you look weirder."

Not so, according to the renowned plastic surgeon who shared the stage with me recently to discuss "Aging Gracefully" -- he, from the medical perspective, and me, the psychological one. He said, "When it comes to aging, cosmetic surgery is less about beauty and more about improving how patients feel about themselves."

His words sounded great, but it made me think of Alley's comment. So I asked, "How do we know that surgical alterations lead to positive emotions?" To which he answered, "If I didn't believe my work made people happier, I wouldn't be in this profession." Still curious, I asked, "Does happiness come from looking younger or looking better? Does it provide short term or long term happiness? For some people or most everyone?" So many questions! This physician seemed particularly articulate and passionate about his work, so I thought he'd be a great person to talk to about these gray areas inherent to his field. I wanted to go deeper. He was glad to oblige. Here is a summary of our post-panel discussion.

His comment that "surgery was less about beauty" intrigued me. If true, then why do women far outnumber men in choosing elective cosmetic procedures? Excluding those that repair disfigurement -- due to injury, illness, and congenital deformities -- statistics show that 91% of all other optional surgeries are performed on women. If cosmetic surgery is not about beauty, it's difficult to understand this inequity. For example, how do we explain 'designer vaginas,' the recent trend among women to surgically refine the appearance of their labia? Is this not aesthetics to the extreme?

I also wanted to know this surgeon's thoughts about 'anti-aging?' This phrase never made sense to me -- unless you are Benjamin Button! I wondered if he believed that cosmetic surgery was the best solution to our culture's obsession with maintaining a youthful appearance. And if so, when should such efforts begin? Proactively during one's teens, 20s and 30s? I cited the troubling increase in teenage use of botox and similar procedures. And what about the other end of the spectrum? I was thinking of the rising number of seniors over age 80 requesting face-lifts and breast implants. Could a person ever be too young or too old to be surgically rejuvenated?

Lastly, I was interested in the notion of the "right to be beautiful," called "Necessary Vanity" in a recent N.Y. Times opinion piece. Alexander Edmonds wrote that beauty, like education or health, should be made available to all "with the help of public institutions and expertise. Do cosmetic surgeons view themselves as providers of that right? Is everyone entitled to achieve their ideal image -- or culture's version of that image? I cited the recent trend by Asian women to surgically alter their eyes to look more Western. Was the homogenization of beauty a positive or negative trend across the globe?

We both agreed that these issues were interesting and challenging, not just as they related to plastic surgery, but in terms of the larger questions they raise about contemporary culture.

Before going further, we first had to narrow the topic by differentiating among the wide spectrum of procedures that are often lumped together under the term plastic surgery. For example, there is an obvious difference between surgeries that correct genetic deformities (e.g. cleft palette, hair lip, webbed toes) or reconstruction work (e.g. following burns, breast cancer) and those performed for 'enhancement' purposes. There are also differences even among optional surgeries -- a 14-year-old boy who undergoes treatment for gynecomastia (breast reduction) after years of humiliation versus the 17 year old girl who requests breast implants believing they will give her a social advantage at college. We narrowed our discussion to optional, enhancement surgical procedures only.

So why more women? We both agreed that even if a surgeon's focus is not on beauty, for most women, it was. Physical good looks have been, and continue to be a female preoccupation. Although much has changed since the feminist revolution, beauty --especially youthful beauty -- is experienced as a woman's currency in contemporary culture. And while plastic surgery may be viewed as offering solutions to a wide variety of other problems, clearly optional procedures serve beautification. They appeal to women's insecurities about physical inadequacy, from teenage years right through old age. If this weren't the case, it would be hard to explain the physical and financial risks women take -- but men don't -- to alter their image. We both agreed that if surgical options were available for other kinds of alterations -- say for greater potency, height or fortune -- the statistics would not be so one sided.

Anti-aging? Even the surgeon said that the term itself didn't make sense. There is no real way to stop the clock or turn back the hands of time. But we both agreed there are lots of things we can do to look our best for our age, especially as we live longer than ever before. Surgery is not for everyone. Good health care, exercise and remaining vital and active goes a long way too. But there are some procedures that do help people feel and look better about themselves when thoughtfully pursued and carefully performed. For some the results are short-lived, problematic and lead to multiple follow-up procedures. But for others surgery has longer lasting impact on their self-esteem and is viewed as a very positive experience. For most, it's a temporary solution to the challenges we face during the aging process.

Regarding age limits -- when is too soon and too late? Here we agreed too. First, people with body image distortion (sometimes diagnosed as having Body Dysmorphic Disorder or BDD) needed to be ruled out as poor candidates for plastic surgery at any age. But, we both acknowledged the difficulty distinguishing between this diagnosable disorder and a natural response to culture's obsession with youth and beauty. Many young people -- in their 20s and 30s -- are afraid to look older. They see fear in their aging parents and grandparents and our culture reinforces it. We both agreed, the solution doesn't lie in feeding into fear, but rather in teaching people of all ages how to prolong the health of their faces and bodies. Although surgeons like to say, "age is just a number," we agreed this didn't make sense. Likewise, when psychologists counter with, "it's what's inside that counts," this too makes little sense. Age does matter. Inside and outside matters too. We concluded that moderate use of safe cosmetic procedures required careful screening by licensed professionals at any age, but they are generally most suitable for patients between the ages of 25 and 75 with few exceptions.

The right to good looks and the homogenization of beauty? This issue has such huge and complex ramifications, we weren't sure where to start. We both felt that the problem lie in the popular belief that beauty was based on a single ideal image. Beauty, we agreed, is more complicated, subjective, variable and ever-changing. Feeling good about oneself is dependent upon multiple factors -- physical, psychological, developmental, environmental. If it was rooted primarily on self-image, men and women who were born with beautiful features -- fashion models, beauty icons -- would be assured happiness, which we know is not true. Or, taken from a different perspective, someone who is successful wouldn't desire physical alterations -- take Michael Jackson for example. As a plastic surgeon and a psychologist, we both believed it was important to emphasize the difference between beauty and attractiveness.

Other issues were raised and perhaps will be discussed in a future article or panel, but we ended our discussion with this theoretical question: If future research proves that happiness and success are associated with certain physical standards -- say, for instance with being male, tall and white -- would surgeons be willing to make those alterations? Would performing those transformation, if surgically and psychologically possible, make practitioners complicit with a social system that devalues natural differences? Sounds almost like a Twilight Zone episode -- remember, "Number Twelve Looks Just Like You?" where this fiction became a frightening reality. Complicated issues that require more thought and discussion.

Clearly, even today's trends in plastic surgery raise more than skin-deep issues. For Jane Fonda, looking great at 78, surgery seems to continue to serve her needs. There are 11 million Americans who are making similar cosmetic choices and should be asking themselves the psychological questions that were raised above. For Kirstie Alley, surgery does not seem to serve her current needs -- or current size. Having made no secret of her long, circuitous route to where she is today, Alley may have learned an important lesson -- that beauty can be found in different shapes and ages -- and that happiness starts from the inside out.

What do you think about recent trends in cosmetic surgery? Do they result in beauty, happiness or neither?

Vivian Diller, Ph.D. is a psychologist in private practice in New York City. She has written articles on beauty, aging, media, models and dancers. She serves as a consultant to companies promoting health, beauty and cosmetic products. "Face It: What Women Really Feel As Their Looks Change" (2010), written with Jill Muir-Sukenick, Ph.D. and edited by Michele Willens, is a psychological guide to help women deal with the emotions brought on by their changing appearances.

For more information, please visit my websites at www.FaceItTheBook.com and www.VivianDiller.com. Friend me on Facebook (at http://www.facebook.com/Readfaceit) or continue the conversation on Twitter.

 
 
 

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04:45 PM on 10/04/2011
cosmetic surgery can help when we already feel good about ourselves.
If we don't feel good, surgery won't help.
Also, moderation is the word here, no one is going to look younger, just better, however, many people do look worst after too much work done.
03:02 PM on 10/03/2011
I think that beauty is a factor that can increase one's chances of happiness. I can't be specific, but isn't there a lot of evidence that attractive children are treated better by their parents, teachers, and peers? Also, what about the halo effect in which people automatically attribute many positive qualities to a beautiful person? (And not to the homely person, who has to prove their intelligence/likeability/etc..) No matter what other problems a person may be having, just the fact that most of the people they meet notice them and greet them with a smile might add something to their happiness in their daily experience. I also think that overall, beautiful people have more social opportunities, and have more opportunity to develop a stronger social network which might be protective against depression and provide cushioning against stresses in life. A third reason that beautiful people might be happier is because they have more opportunities to find a loving partner. Being in a loving relationship, not to mention having a good sex life, is something that many people identify as something they think promotes their happiness. Oh, one more thing - beautifiul people earn more money, and according to Time Magazine the income level needed for basic happiness is $75,000 a year. So, I wonder if a greater percentage of beautiful people, esp. women, have an income of at least $75,000.
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millebocca
veni, vidi, clicki
09:24 AM on 09/29/2011
to validate a cosmetic surg career via happiness: we westerners hardly know what happiness is. capitalism has irrevocably linked the accumulation of things n stuff to what we believe happiness to be, which should remain defined solely via intangibility. we rearrange our faces and bodies to further display our affluence (or appearance of affluence, i am sure the cr card companies would say), and the consumer calls it happiness and the docs call it fulfillment.
the biz that is cosmetic surgery is frankenstinian in size and appearance - we are becoming so acclimated to generified purchased features, be they abnormally teeny (ie that ski slope nose) to grotesquely huge (ie busts that look like inverted mixing bowls on chests) that i don't think we as a society can even see the "weirdness" (per ms alley) fully for what it is.
all industries create need to succeed - this need (to fit in is to stand out) happens to be quite infectious, as it plays off our natural insecurities and competitiveness.
24/7 media provides a deluge of low-bar idealism, and non-example parenting picks up where everything else leaves off, esp where the age fears of 20-somethings is concerned - what a loooong downhill slope we have built there.
06:02 PM on 09/25/2011
I made a comment but HP deleted it for some reason. I dont understand why I can't just say it: beauty does bring happiness. As somebody who was considered very ugly for a long stretch of her life, I can tell you that ugliness brings a lot of unhappiness into your life.
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french queen13
my beloved is mine and I am his
09:12 PM on 09/22/2011
The recent trends in plastic surgery I find abhorrent - surgery to keep your job, or surgery to look like something out of a porn film, or to fit some very narrow, unreal definition of 'beauty', sickens me. Whether they make anyone happy is entirely down to the individual, so I can't comment on that.

I've only known one person who had plastic surgery, and this was in the 80s. She had her nose reduced from what I thought was a fine strong Greek aquiline to a little snub nose. She was more than happy with it - which is all that matters - I just thought it took all the character and strength out of her face. Didn't say so, of course!
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millebocca
veni, vidi, clicki
10:26 AM on 09/29/2011
just got back from overseas - smile lines, laugh lines, un-dyed (shortish - no long post-farrah, ironed extensions) hair tied into neat ponytails on the most elegant of women. token extra poundage, an utter absence of obesity, little to no make up at all, and this includes those who i saw broadcast and those i saw walking past me on the street. my fave morning newscaster, a gal, wore a boyish haircut and jeans on the air! the lasting impression of this human landscape was one of good health, natural physical beauty.
unlike an earlier poster quipped, i do think a stellar thyroid is a part of good looks.
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sunshineshines
08:35 PM on 09/21/2011
i have seen alot of interviews with beautiful though now ageing actresses who get upset when guys start checking out their daughters. that is sad. a friend of mine lost her mother to a paper bag - she used to be pretty but as she aged all she could do was wake up and sit in bed drinking with a brown paper bag over her head (with air holes)... needless to say she was committed soon after.
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Mother77
11:31 AM on 09/21/2011
As I am getting older, I hope that the years are kind to me, that I have been wise to eat correctly, exercise enough and have a joyful outlook which reflects in my appearance. If not, please give me the wisdom to know the difference between beauty and vanity.
09:28 PM on 09/21/2011
wow, these are really wise words, congrats.
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americancolonyinhell
11:11 AM on 09/21/2011
It's like anything else: to each his own.
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10:01 AM on 09/21/2011
Happiness is cultivated from the inside out. There are many physically beautiful people who are miserable. Our actions are directed by our thoughts so have positive constructive thoughts as much as possible (even if those thoughts scare you).
Actively and purposely doing things I am afraid to do bring me enormous joy. This past weekend I attended 2 intense dance workshops which I almost didn't participate because I kept thinking I am not a good enough dancer. But unless I show up, I will always remain "not good enough" and this is a terrible way to live. I showed up and discovered that I am good enough! I am very happy at the moment. Not a single thing on earth, money, the perfect body or the perfect whatever can generate or ignite the happiness that I am experiencing right now.
Don't focus on the perfect face, body, shoes, etc and spend time understanding who you are and feed your thoughts with sunshine so that you can start cultivating your inner garden of happiness.
09:29 PM on 09/21/2011
yes, and try to do good to others and to yourself, life is about doing good.
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Scott Fraley
11:53 AM on 09/20/2011
Happiness is 98% about outlook. Of course the outlook is improved if you have a beautiful face to look at every morning when you get ready.
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jf12
When I saw her I marveled greatly.
11:02 AM on 09/20/2011
More beauty does not tend to increase happiness for women. The cliche fateful story of men preferring Mary Ann over Ginger because of her supposedly greater availability is cliche because it's true.
"If this weren't the case, it would be hard to explain the physical and financial risks women take -- but men don't -- to alter their image."
It is easy to explain, because women put such a premium on physical attractiveness. It's called projecting.
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LynneSpreen
Midlife Magic
09:40 AM on 09/20/2011
"When it comes to aging, cosmetic surgery is less about beauty and more about improving how patients feel about themselves." What a line of manure! The only reason it helps them feel "better" about themselves is because if the surgery is well-done, they are now "younger looking" or "well-rested," both of which our culture rewards.

I doubt certain female news correspondents got their recent facelifts because they enjoy spending the money, undergoing the risk of surgical complications or risk of looking freakish afterward, or enduring the pain. They're complying with a standard (and in their case, it's probably essential for career longevity). If they look in the mirror and say "Wow! I feel better about myself now!" it's about compliance. How regrettable.
http://anyshinything.com/2011/09/16/controlling-the-negativity-part-2/
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dikedrummond
Struggle Free Midlife Crisis Expert
09:37 AM on 09/20/2011
Hey Vivian ... another great article AND the question of Happiness plastic surgery brings up the well researched concept of
"Hedonic Adaptation"

What this means is LOTS of things can bring happiness AND it is always temporary. This has been studied by sociologists in many settings. When you get married, get a new car, even win the lottery.

The increase in measurable happiness is predictable and lasts from 2 to 6 months. I am sure this is also true for plastic surgery. You are happy for no more than 6 months and then you either start complaining that the procedure didn't give you just what you wanted OR you start planning round two.

All of that would be normal human responses and normal human behavior. Throw in a little addictive tendencies and enough money such that the person can write a check for $20K with no pain involved ... and soon you have a full blown surgery addict.

Surgery = Happiness that is sure to be temporary.

My two cents,

Dike
Dike Drummond MD
http://www.threehourmidlifecrisis.com
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DrVivian
Clinical Psychologist and author of Face It
02:13 PM on 09/22/2011
As always, a thoughtful and insightful comment. Thanks for taking the time to write one.
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LifeChangeStartsNow
I am love, discernment, confident, resourceful, as
08:47 AM on 09/20/2011
Great article Vivian! It truly is a complicated issue and its all emotionally based in my view so I agree with Kirstey for the most part. A lot of women do look weird when work is done by the wrong surgeon but then again that is based on their stated desires to him.

Anyway, interestingly enough, after a tough 15 minute Tibetan yoga session this morning before walking to work, it occurred to me that I don't feel 52 at all. I feel like I look it when my mind is doing the monkey dance and low self esteem promoted by lack of exercise and poor eating for a few days.

So what is that all about?

Essentially, we're all a little or a lot screwed up and it's the image of our selves which is out of sync with our Inner Self that promotes disharmony and thus unhappiness. I don't really know what happiness is but isn't all about feeling good about what we do, who we are.

Bottom line - many women and some men whose values are reflected upon the youth believed that cosmetic surgery will make them happy and obviously that is not the case based on their reason for the intervention in the first place.

Cheers
Catherine
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DrVivian
Clinical Psychologist and author of Face It
02:14 PM on 09/22/2011
Yes, happiness is just a complicated state of mind, so different for each of us. But clearly, it's much more about our inner state than our outer one! Thanks for your comment, as always!
11:25 PM on 09/19/2011
the beauty business is worth 20 billion. if looks didn't matter-the industry would've gone bankrupt years ago.

a choice between beautiful and ugly-same brain-same personality traits-people would pick the former in lieu of the latter. no doubt about it.