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Vivian Diller, Ph.D.

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Kate Winslet, Emma Thompson And Rachel Weisz Don't Want Cosmetic Surgery -- And They Don't Want You Getting It, Either

Posted: 10/18/2011 6:15 pm

News about the formation of an Anti-Cosmetic Surgery League probably made most women of a certain age smile -- at least those whose un-botoxed faces still allowed them that natural expression.

How refreshing and inspiring it was to read that Kate Winslet had enlisted her British pals, Emma Thompson and Rachel Weisz, for the cause. Winslet told The Telegraph, "I will never give in. [Cosmetic surgery] goes against my morals, the way that my parents brought me up and what I consider to be natural beauty." Weisz agreed, saying, "People who look too perfect don't look sexy or particularly beautiful," And Emma Thompson, the eldest of the three, added, "I'm not fiddling about with myself. We're in this awful youth-driven thing now where everybody needs to look 30 at 60."

Following this public proclamation, women around the world have been called upon to join in by taking "The Pledge" against plastic surgery. Here on Huff Post, author Christie Mellow wrote, "I hereby pledge to not shoot botulism toxin into my forehead two inches from where my brain is housed. I will solemnly pledge to not have chunks of plastic inserted under the skin of my cheekbones and my chin. It might take a will of steel, but I pledge to never let a surgeon pull the skin off my face so he can rearrange and tighten my features."

Three cheers! Hip, hip, hooray for these three brave British actresses and the women they are rallying in protest against plastic surgery!

But, the more I think about it, the less positive I feel about the whole idea of an Anti-Cosmetic Surgery League -- especially one promoted by this trio of famous women. While I applaud them for raising awareness of the problems created by our culture's obsession with youth, beauty and perfection, and using their celebrity position to make their point of view clear, the impact on everyday woman could actually have unexpected and undesirable results.

You see, women like Winslet, Weisz and Thompson can afford -- financially and otherwise -- to oppose surgery, photoshop and airbrushing. They were blessed with good genes as well as limitless opportunities to care for their physical selves. Furthermore, they probably haven't yet experienced their true "uh-oh moment " in the aging process -- that gut-felt moment when the mirror says things are headed south and are never turning back again. Maybe Thompson, at 52, has had a glimpse of hers, but 36-year-old Winselt? Or 41-year-old Weitz? Besides, with their trainers, stylists, fashion and beauty consultants available for constant upkeep, can they really know what everyday women in their 50s and 60s are feeling and thinking?

With women being so self-critical anyway, they just don't need more to feel bad about. "Immoral" is a strong word, and women who choose to improve their appearance already feel conflicted. They hear, "50 is the new 40," and if they don't look and feel that way, they are told to "reinvent, revitalize and rejuvenate." What follows for most women is ambivalence; a collision of values I call the "Beauty Paradox." Do we focus on our bodies and faces because it will make us feel better or because we are victims to the anti-aging craze? Are we choosing to look younger than our years to stay competitive -- professionally and personally -- or have we no other choice in this youth obsessed culture? Should we even care at all, when there are so many other more important things to worry about? " We have worked too hard and come too far to be so confused by superficial vanity, right?

Well, not exactly. The way I see it, women today are in the throws of an anthropological experiment. We are living longer than ever before, expecting to feel vital and attractive well into our 80s and 90s -- with few role models to lead the way. We hear that "age is just a number," or "it's mind over matter," and that our goal is to age with grace and dignity, but what does that really mean? Let ourselves go 'au natural?' Become grandmothers and dismiss the importance of how we look, dress and care for ourselves? I don't think so -- it's just more complicated!

Plastic surgery and non-invasive cosmetic procedures came onto the scene because they promised 'simple' solutions to women's complicated fears of aging. They were viewed as hope in a jar, magic in a needle, transformation by scalpel -- especially as they became more refined and easily accessible. But as we watched their rise in popularity, we also witnessed the start of a slippery slope -- with increasing over-use, too often provided by non-licensed practitioners, offered to women who gave little thought to their long-term consequences. Then came the botched jobs, the frozen faces and the Joan Rivers disasters.

But, is an Anti-Cosmetic Surgery League the best antidote to a beauty and youth obsessed culture gone wild? Need we condemn those women who opt for dermatological or cosmetic procedures if they chose them to feel better about themselves? Do these famous -- and gorgeous -- celebrities need be so sanctimonious about it all?

Instead, how about we all join together to become clearer about the choices we have -- surgical or otherwise -- while we challenge the unrealistic images created by the media and the dangers they present for women trying to achieve them. In the end, isn't working together against the narrowing definition of beauty -- rather than narrowing of women's choices -- our ultimate goal?

Surely this Anti-Cosmetic Surgery movement is related to larger issues that go beyond movie stars, celebrities and the morality of altering their images in life or on the screen. This is not just about Hollywood, but about all women around the world who feel enormous pressure to maintain their youth and beauty in unrealistic ways. It's about how they can deal with these pressures and find viable means to feel good about themselves at any age. Women are starting to view extreme and radical transformations through cosmetic surgery as a trend to rebel against. The desire for authenticity is beginning to gain momentum -- among celebrities and everyday women alike. Let's support this important movement and all that it stands for. But most of all, let's support women who stand for the freedom to choose.

What do you think about the Anti-Cosmetic Surgery League?

****
Vivian Diller, Ph.D. is a psychologist in private practice in New York City. She has written articles on beauty, aging, media, models and dancers. She serves as a consultant to companies promoting health, beauty and cosmetic products. "Face It: What Women Really Feel As Their Looks Change" (2010), written with Jill Muir-Sukenick, Ph.D. and edited by Michele Willens, is a psychological guide to help women deal with the emotions brought on by their changing appearances.

For more information, please visit my websites at www.FaceItTheBook.com and www.VivianDiller.com. Friend me on Facebook (at http://www.facebook.com/Readfaceit) or continue the conversation on Twitter.


 
 
 

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08:13 AM on 10/22/2011
Great article. I agree that women over 40 have more of a beauty challenge than women in the 20's or 30's, but more and more advertising is putting it in the face of the younger. Like a wake up call they don't need to receive.
As a woman turning 39 in less than a month I have struggled with how to stay young and vibrant, and I have found it's so much more than working out, hair color and the latest fashion. I have found it's when I allow myself to enjoy the age I am at and admire the beauty of all ages, that I become happier with myself, feel more sexy, and beautiful. Love the skin you're in!

Rebekah Sweeney
Co-Publisher
THAT magazine for women
www.thatmagazineforwomen.com
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April Pells
07:39 AM on 10/22/2011
I see nothing wrong with cosmetic surgery. And it's no one else's business, aside from the patient and their doctor. No one needs celebrities telling them what to do.
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inmyhumbleopinion
Vote third party.
12:20 PM on 10/21/2011
"Besides, with their trainers, stylists, fashion and beauty consultants available for constant upkeep, can they really know what everyday women in their 50s and 60s are feeling and thinking?"

As a matter of fact, I think they can, even more so than the rest of us. They are in an industry that is brutal to women over 40, and that army of support staff is the only thing keeping them in fighting trim. Good for Kate and Emma and Rachel for resisting the pressure and making it clear they won't bow to it. This is one instance in which I believe celebrity helps the discussion--after all, if more women like them join the fight, it means we get to see more "real women" in feature films and in magazines which ultimately influence attitudes and culture.

Contrary to your assertion, I don't think this demonizes women who make the choice to have cosmetic procedures anymore than we demonize women who choose not to color their hair. The bottom line is, women have to stop caving to what other people think we "should" do, and listen to their own feelings about what's right for them.

Now, if we could only stop the gratuitous use of Photoshop, the world would be a better place.
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Minnesota Black
02:38 PM on 10/20/2011
Allow me to say, first and foremost, that I am not for limiting anyone's choices. Legally speaking, cosmetic surgery should absolutely be legal. Women (and men) should have the option of elective surgery if they want it. That said -- I am in no way obligated to consider both choices equal. I don't think that they are, and further I think it would be lacking in integrity just to pretend I approve of cosmetic surgery just because someone else may disagree.

To illustrate why I disapprove, ask yourself this theoretical: A young woman with one white parent and one minority parent ends up looking not-at-all white. If this woman felt that her inside did not match her outside, and wanted to go through extensive surgeries to look more white -- should we really say it's just her choice, and we should support her in it?

I can't get behind that. Particularly because, as Kanye West's mom illustrates, elective surgeries are still surgeries. Things can go wrong. You should not risk your life or your health to achieve some arbitrary standard of beauty. Pointing out that the celebrities mentioned in the article are already beautiful is irrelevant.

I agree with nix28's post below. If the surgery is not to correct a disfigurement, I'd say the money is better spent on therapy.
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millebocca
veni, vidi, clicki
07:53 AM on 10/20/2011
and i remain curious, ie the nose fix as mentioned below: so gal gets cute, new nosie, feels great, dates more than ever before, marries and then has a daughter who, lo and behold, has mommy's old schnozz.
what scenario, what legacy are we creating?
i know for a fact that there are men out there who truly prefer the non-altered gals, probably for this very reason (ie the dr's comment below rings true on that note: we do indeed like to rest our eyes on those whose genes have constructed pleasant, even countenances)
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Shaun Hensley
The American Experiment has failed
01:08 PM on 10/20/2011
I had never before considered that. Fantastic point!
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millebocca
veni, vidi, clicki
09:48 AM on 10/21/2011
survey (would be fascinating) would perhaps dispel some of the myths that drive the coz-med surg industry (i don't subscribe to more than a 50% agreement of the "i did it for me" mantra. i think it's at least 50% done to attract others, most obviously among gals of all ages in their quest for men - and in that, the quest for $ plays a role)
just who/what kind of guy likes coz-surg-altered gals?
just who/what kind of guy like non-altered gals?
does potential procreation affect choice or not? genes, as we all know, cannot be altered to match new body parts.
and then
what is the damage to offspring of altered parents: what is the example/pattern set & what hurt is instilled when genetic legacy is literally hidden/disliked enough to surgically alter?
05:35 PM on 10/21/2011
So if a person needs braces, is it better to just let them have the smile they inherited?

If you have varicose veins, you should always let them be?

The girl I mentioned earlier didn't have a giant boob job or a facelift that made her unrecognizable. She took a size 10 nose down to a size 7. She was happier and less self-conscious. Why would you want someone to be sadder and more self-conscious?

And actually, I remember her saying that if she had a daughter who wanted to do the same thing, she would support her.

I think there's a happy medium between a little work and a Heidi Montag-like reconstruction.
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Thaag Tidestalker
Axial Tilt: the Reason for the Season!
03:08 PM on 10/24/2011
I can say that in the case of braces, it is not just cosmetic. Straightening teeth strengthens the jawbone and protects oral health overall. I'm 42, had braces, and still has yet to experience a single cavity.
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nix28
Ignorance stirs my inner demon...Sorry.
10:27 PM on 10/19/2011
The argument that the media controls how we view ourselves is getting really old. Why are women constantly looking outside themselves for physical validation and placing responsibility on everybody but themselves for the actions they take to live up to the perceived expectations of others?

I'm all for corrective surgery, but that's pretty much it. I personally believe that a woman that is unhappy with any physical aspect of herself that is not disfigured should use that money instead to get therapy and develop the tools to love herself, imperfections and all. As women, we have to accept that hair will grey, skin will sag, dimples will form, and it's perfectly natural. Attempting to interrupt nature's process is futile, as none of these changes are permanent and our bodies can only take so much "correction" before they begin falling apart anyway.
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Deborah Stambler
is a freelance writer & poet living in LA
07:34 PM on 10/19/2011
"In the end, isn't working together against the narrowing definition of beauty -- rather than narrowing of women's choices -- our ultimate goal?"

Yes. I think this is where we have the most power and ultimately will find the most freedom. Defining beauty for ourselves is the goal. How do we get there? I really do appreciate these celebs for taking a stand. It's a fine way to get the conversation going. Where do go next? This is what I'll be thinking about. Let's get some ideas going.

I talk with my teenage daughter about how she dresses. Instead of fighting with her, I'm trying to find a positive way to approach this issue. Your article just brings the whole thing home for me. What is beauty? How do we define it individually and as a culture? What are we teaching our girls? And our boys.
07:28 PM on 10/19/2011
I love the idea of the Anti-Cosmetic Surgery League. And it makes sense it's coming from British actresses, as the Brits have a long tradition of allowing great men and women actors to actually age in their careers and continue to perform. What a concept! Who knows what Cher, Joan Rivers, Nicole Kidman, the late Michael Jackson, etc. (the list is endless) would look like if they had allowed themselves to age gracefully?
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millebocca
veni, vidi, clicki
07:46 AM on 10/20/2011
i agree - it is singularly american (as ironically it appears the most abusive surgeries elsewhere are in the pursuit of westernized features and stature), and if it is not the insertion of what too often looks like a pair of inverted mixing bowls it is total youth-chasing: from taut, disfigured faces to blinding white choppers the size of chiclets.
i have always loved the brit stars and their natural features, natural smiles. noted as well in germany and other northern european countries, where healthy weights and un-made up, naturally nice faces prevail.
02:53 PM on 10/19/2011
I think the more aggressively celebrities and others campaign against any sort of plastic surgery, Botox, etc., the more the more they make those who do opt for some work feel bad about their decisions.

Emma Thompson, who I admire very much, can complain all she wants about a culture that says at 60 you should look 30, but what about women who are 60, but look 80? I had a friend in college who got a new nose and her confidence and outlook (and dating life) were better than ever. Was that due to some awful societal pressure or the fact that she would rather have had her mom's nose than her dad's?

And if a woman thinks her face or body doesn't match how she feels inside, then let her make the choice. But don't stand up on a soapbox and suggest that such a decision is somehow wrong simply because it's different from how you feel.

And I'll bet there are patients in plastic surgeons' offices every day who at one time swore to never have any work done. Jane Fonda was one of those for a long time who said she was going to age gracefully and healthfully through diet and exercise. But she said she looked in the mirror or at photographs of herself and thought that the image didn't match who she felt like inside. And so she had a little touch-up or two done.

To each her own (or his own).
11:24 AM on 10/19/2011
Sanctimonious may be the right word to describe the views espoused by those whose success and fame are based in part on the opportunities their natural good looks gave them (as Dr. Diller points out.) But more important is the implicit assumption that the demand for plastic surgery and noninvasive rejuvenation was created by our "youth obsessed culture" rather than simple human nature. The subject of beauty's benefits have been well-reviewed by Nancy Etcoff (Survival of the Prettiest) and more recently Daniel Hamermesh (Beauty Pays: Why Attractive People are More Successful.) The human brain is hard-wired from birth to recognize and reward beauty (even newborns hold their gaze longer on pictures of attractive faces) so moralizing about it rings hollow. There are obvious excesses - especially in Hollywood - but the desire is healthy and normal.
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Roger Ochs
ribald raconteur
08:27 AM on 10/19/2011
Well said, Dr. Diller. If these pampered stars reject plastic work, good for them. If others choose it, good for them. The issue is one of choice and until I am in another's shoes it's none of my business.
03:38 AM on 10/19/2011
Unfortunately this whole post is based on a misunderstanding. Kate Winslet has not started any kind of anti cosmetic surgery league. The Telegraph mistranslated an interview she gave for a Spanish mag in which she said she was against plastic surgery. They named other actresses who have said similar. That's all. She is linked to no formal Anti Cosmetic Surgery League.
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DrVivian
Clinical Psychologist and author of Face It
08:58 AM on 10/19/2011
I've heard different versions of this story, including your explanation. The title, by the way, for this piece, was created by Huff Post, not me. I asked it to be called, "Anti-Plastic Surgery Or Free Choice." which made the headline less about these women and more about the issue of choice. I believe there isn't any formal "anti-cosmetic surgery league," but these celebs have taken a stand and created a movement that they are attached to. My point was that this has an impact on women in general, and not necessarily the one intended. But, I appreciate your additional clarification.
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millebocca
veni, vidi, clicki
09:02 PM on 10/18/2011
always
never
iffy, iffy words, practically mutually exclusive if paired with time and life.
and yes, as you say, let's pull our gaze back in and view the true crux of the matter, all the "real gals" who, if at a plastic surgeon's office, are the ones showing photos of kate and rachel to their docs in hopes of getting something to look remotely like that. easy to pooh-pooh that which one has in overabundance, though the good intentions of their sentiments are gratefully noted.
07:30 PM on 10/18/2011
I see nothing wrong with cosmetic surgery if someone wants it to change his or her looks. It can be fun to change one's appearance and perhaps a person wants to look better in his or her own eyes. Likewise, nothing wrong with cosmetic dentistry, hair implants, or dressing differently. If someone wants to look a certain way for his or her own self, there is nothing wrong with it. That is none of any one else's business. Certainly Kate Winslet and Rachel Weitz who look like goddesses and who use make up in their work have no need for such procedures but if they wanted them, it would be their own business. There is no excuse for them or anyone deciding that these procedures are bad and making people feel bad about getting them if they want them. I resent that.
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Lori Day
Educational psychologist and consultant
06:23 PM on 10/18/2011
I support the desire for authenticity. No one makes money off of women staying natural as they age, so these women need to create their own buzz and provide their own peer support. The marketing of youth and beauty is a multi-billion dollar machine, and for those of us who choose to opt out, it is nice that there are some role models. I myself pledge to age with grace and dignity.
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DrVivian
Clinical Psychologist and author of Face It
02:43 PM on 10/19/2011
I like the idea of women pledging to age the way they chose and feeling good about themselves -- for these actresses, it's without surgery (at least for now). For you, it with grace and dignity. We all deserve to be viewed for what goes on internally and how that is expressed externally, no matter what age, right? Thanks for your comment.
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Shaun Hensley
The American Experiment has failed
04:57 PM on 10/19/2011
I'd rather not see 'keeping up with the Jones' played out on the cosmetic surgery front. In my opinion, unless you are deformed, you're better looking without 'enhancement'.

More voices carrying THAT message is better for everybody but plastic surgeons.
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Shaun Hensley
The American Experiment has failed
04:54 PM on 10/19/2011
Agreed completely. Own it.