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Divorce: A Necessary Evil or Easy Exit?

Posted: 05/14/2012 12:14 am

By Carli Eli


Whether your source of news comes from online media, TV or the latest tabloid, it's hard to ignore the media hype behind celebrity weddings and divorces. A few years ago, we gave our celebrity couples a few years of matrimonial bliss before they called it quits. Nowadays, divorces are being filed after 72 days or even 72 hours and as a result we have become immune to the negative repercussions associated with divorce. What message are we sending to the young and the old?  According to divorce.com, nearly 50% of marriages in America file for divorce and that number is only increasing.


However, the latest research claims divorce rates among Latino adults are lower than those among whites and African Americans. But interestingly enough, a Pew study tracking interracial marriages found that divorce rates are higher for interracial couples. One study conducted a decade ago found that mixed-race couples had a 41% chance of separation or divorce, compared to a 31% chance for those who married within their race.



Divorce has become the norm in our society, but the mental and emotional impact it has on people is rarely discussed; let alone the process of getting psychologists and lawyers involved. Divorce is painful for both parties emotionally, psychologically and monetarily. Whatever happened to working things out and exhausting all efforts to reach mutual compromise for the sake of love, peace and harmony? Where is the maturity we expect to see and where is the unconditional love we expect from ourselves as well as our partners? Could this be attributed to our society's decline in principles and human values? Why are people less inclined to confront life's biggest challenges and, as a result, weakened their inner strength and human character? Do the vows expressed at a wedding hold any significant value or are they just poetic?

There's no question that relationships are hard and quite debilitating at times, but one would think having a partner to face life's challenges with is better than facing them alone. For those who are blessed to have found "the one," why do we make the mistake of taking this love for granted and, eventually, letting it die? At the end of the day, family is all we have in this world and it's time we reinstate traditional values in our society. Men and women play important roles in children's lives. I have friends who are products of divorce and the overall response is, 'If I could change anything about my life, I would have preferred my parents didn't get divorced because the entire experience was traumatizing.' 


While adults are better suited to handle the consequences of divorce, do we ever ask ourselves, 'What about the children?' Children are impressionable and when they witness the separation of parents at such an early age, they carry the emotional scars that haunt them throughout most of their lives. According to studies conducted by Parenting 24/7, the loss of contact with parents, economic difficulties, and stress negatively contribute to the difficulties of children.


Now, before you assume that I'm completely against divorce, don't. All I'm saying is that, as a society, it should be a last resort and not an easy first exit. Obviously, domestic violence cases and dire irreconcilable differences are reasons to file for divorce, but just because celebrities take it lightly and the media mocks, ridicules and jokes about it, doesn't mean we should. Unlike fake reality shows, our reality is, indeed, real.


"An ounce of blood is worth more than a pound of friendship." ~Spanish Proverb

 

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