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Walt Hawkins

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Keeping Up With the Hypocrites

Posted: 11/02/11 05:51 PM ET

In August 2011, after dating for approximately six months, sex tape/reality television star Kim Kardashian and professional athlete Kris Humphries were married during a highly publicized, over-the-top ceremony that has been broadcast repeatedly on E! Entertainment Television. This was Kardashian's second marriage and Humphries' first. On Oct. 31, a mere 72 days after their wedding, it was announced that they would be divorcing.

Meanwhile, on the other side of the United States, a lesbian couple, who have been partnered for 30 years, showed up at a Register of Deeds office in the town of Asheville, in my home state of North Carolina, requesting a marriage license. Since it is illegal for same-sex couples to marry in North Carolina, their request was, of course, denied, and when they refused to leave the office, they were arrested. Soon, voters in North Carolina will decide whether or not their state Constitution should be amended to officially ban marriage equality altogether. This will make it virtually impossible for future legislatures to extend marriage rights to gay and lesbian couples. North Carolina is currently the only state in the Southeast to not have passed such an amendment.

There is something seriously wrong with this picture.

There was a time when I wouldn't have given a second thought to the faux marriage of a famous-for-no-discernible-reason attention whore like Kim Kardashian. But that was then and this is now. And, right now, what is happening in North Carolina and all across a country that prides itself on equal opportunity and liberty and justice for all is so fundamentally wrong, it's criminal. Christian hate groups are working tirelessly, and somewhat successfully, to convince as many Americans as possible, political leaders included, that marriage equality is the single greatest threat to the so-called "sanctity" of "traditional" marriage. For instance, the National Organization for Marriage (NOM), whose name makes it sound like some sort of government think tank that promotes matrimony, was "founded in 2007 in response to the growing need for an organized opposition to same-sex marriage." This is their sole reason for existence.

Current presidential candidate Newt Gingrich and former presidential candidate and alleged billionaire Donald Trump have both denounced same-sex marriage. Meanwhile, both are known adulterers, each of whom has been twice divorced and thrice married. Singer and actress Jennifer Lopez is currently in the process of ending her third marriage. This past June, a 51-year-old actor named Doug Hutchison was allowed to legally marry an attention-starved 16-year-old named Courtney Stodden. In 2009, in the United States alone, 840,000 divorces were granted. Ashley Madison, an online dating site marketed primarily to people who are looking for discreet extramarital affairs, claims to have over 11 million members. The list goes on and on. It's like a bad joke. Marriage has taken a relentless flogging at the hands of heterosexuals, and the assault continues. Therein lies the true detriment to the sanctity of marriage. However, there is no mention of any of these affronts to marriage on the NOM website. In fact, they seem to be concerned about "protecting" marriage only if it appeases their irrational, insatiable desire to discriminate against tax-paying, law-abiding American citizens who just happen to be gay. They couldn't care less about the obnoxious frivolity with which many heterosexuals regard their sacred institution. Why not propose a constitutional amendment to ban divorce? Why not try to make adultery illegal? Aren't these the two things that destroy most marriages?

Christian extremist hate groups can conjure up all the feel-good names they want: National Organization for Marriage, American Family Association, Focus on the Family, New Yorkers for Constitutional Freedoms, etc. They can try to convince voters that they are toiling away for some noble cause. They can wrap their hate up in a pretty package, but we all know it's not about marriage or family or constitutional freedom. It's about homophobia, bigotry and the desire for legalized discrimination, plain and simple. And, that's just so un-American.

 
In August 2011, after dating for approximately six months, sex tape/reality television star Kim Kardashian and professional athlete Kris Humphries were married during a highly publicized, over-the-top...
In August 2011, after dating for approximately six months, sex tape/reality television star Kim Kardashian and professional athlete Kris Humphries were married during a highly publicized, over-the-top...
 
 
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
thebearclaw007
Is your conscience functioning properly?
03:25 PM on 11/05/2011
WOW! I can't believe how on point this articles is. Mr. Hawkins I commend you; unlike many, your eyes are wide open and see the truth.
01:11 PM on 11/05/2011
To be 100% accurate - although not often thought of one - Maryland, is also a South Eastern state, & does not have a constitutional ban on same sex marriages.

It is also the only state in the region that recognizes the marriages performed in states that do allow marriage equality.

That's all!
10:30 AM on 11/05/2011
I wish to thank those of you who are calling out those individuals who have equated marriage with some form of devine intervention in peoples daily lives. The hetersexual divorce rate is now approximately 50 percent of all marriages performed in this country. It crosses all social and economic lines. I find it interesting that the far right is not attacking this assault on the institution of marriage. Instead they choose to do nothing. They propose no jail time, fines or any penalty for tarnishing ones promise before God. Interesting. There has been a major shift in values in this country. For better or worst this change has taken place and will continue to do so. Do these changes make us a better citzen, don't know. Truth is its too soon to tell. I do know you can not legislate morals or values. You can not dictate love, passion or that desire to live out ones life with another. How does one use" love and unconstitutional" in the same breathe? In this writer's opinion it can't be done. Maybe on paper but not in real life. WE as a people live in real life, not on paper and our legislators and judical system need to recognize this fact.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
WAY2MCCOOL
05:25 PM on 11/04/2011
@ Del Ham You're still missing the point. You're equating marriage with having kids. That isn't the reason everyone marries, to start a family. It's two people signing a contract, that's it. It's not sanctifying, or even 'special' in the eyes of the law...just a legal document. Just because you come to Vegas and get married doesn't mean you're gonna go start a brood asap! If 2 people, regardless of gender want to sign their lives away, let 'em.. it only affects them. Also, the vast majority of gay couples DO NOT have children. They'd rather spend their income on stimulating the economy, going on vacations, shopping at Whole Foods and regularly eating out at nice restaurants.. Trust me, I know. =)
10:35 PM on 11/03/2011
Moderate non-churchgoing Americans are opposed to gay marriage because it distorts the underlying meaning and purpose of marriage. Last I checked, it still takes one of each gender to make a baby. We didn't make the rules, they've always been there.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
WAY2MCCOOL
06:46 AM on 11/04/2011
Not all straight couples want, desire or end up even having children. I know several who just married for the tax benefits and never want kids. So that's a moot argument. What you're saying is straight couples should only be allowed to marry if they're going to have some kids. Which isn't the case.
11:05 AM on 11/04/2011
Actually, what I'm saying is that I do not believe that same-sex parents can offer a child the same essential combination of mother and father as a traditional family, which generally involves marriage. Individually, gay people have the same potential for parenting as straights, but two daddies or two mommies does not equal one set of parents, no matter how much gay Americans and their sympathizers would like to believe it. Life ain't fair. It still takes two of a kind to make and raise a baby. Gays deserve equal rights under the law (and tax code), but they still can't make babies.
HUFFPOST SUPER USER
josie klapper
Who can I piss-off today?
11:28 AM on 11/04/2011
I would suggest that statistically you should stick to speaking for yourself.
12:52 AM on 11/05/2011
LOVE the micro bio; wish I'd thought of it: it's basically how I live my life.
02:15 PM on 11/03/2011
Hypocracy is the main reason I quit attending church.
01:26 PM on 11/03/2011
What consenting adults do in their own way in their own time has no effect on the Holy Trinity of my Marriage: God, Me, and my Wife... That being said, I feel ALL marriage should be banned! Gays should not be the only ones to have the privilege of having marriage forbidden to them... Please don't tell my wife I said that...
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practiceempathy
Tolerance need not yield to willful ignorance.
11:49 AM on 11/03/2011
Excellent piece, Walt.

"They can try to convince voters that they are toiling away for some noble cause. They can wrap their hate up in a pretty package, but we all know it's not about marriage or family or constitutional freedom. It's about homophobia, bigotry and the desire for legalized discrimination, plain and simple. And, that's just so un-American."

Indeed, the "values" nonsense is just smoke and mirrors.

If these people were truly concerned with the sanctity of marriage, they'd do something about revoking serial killers' right to marry from prison (e.g. Richard "The Night Stalker" Ramirez).

It's all farce.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
wrightthewrong
Medicare for All
11:41 AM on 11/03/2011
"Why not propose a constitutional amendment to ban divorce? Why not try to make adultery illegal?"

Hey, don't give them any ideas! They're already progressing from banning abortion to banning birth control!
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HUFFPOST COMMUNITY MODERATOR
Json
Cynical dreamer, sarcastic idealist...
11:48 AM on 11/03/2011
Don't worry. They would never do it because they would all wind up in jail.
It would hilarious if it wasn't so pathetic how many of these 'moral crusaders' against gay marriage have had multiple affairs and multiple marriages.
HUFFPOST SUPER USER
josie klapper
Who can I piss-off today?
11:38 AM on 11/04/2011
You are forgetting about the really funny part; when they keep getting busted for DUI leaving gay bars and for "lewd and lascivious" in airport bathrooms...`
11:36 AM on 11/03/2011
Christians won't rally to outlaw divorce because of the high divorce rates within their ranks - higher than the national average for some sects. I suspect that those adultery numbers are pretty lofty too. You see, they are repeatedly and endlessly forgiven for their transgressions - so they got that covered. It's the rest of us heathens that are offending the Creator!
Jay Haney
My nuclear family imploded when I was 18. I've bee
11:10 AM on 11/03/2011
I watched my parents struggle through the last five years of their marriage, starting when I was 13. There was a lot of abuse, a lot of secrets. It took my grandmother--my mother's mother--dying from cancer my senior year in high school to wake Mom up to the sham her marriage had become. She finally divorced my father a little after we put Mamaw in the ground.

I watched both of them cheat on each other, ruin each other's lives, warp mine and my sister's childhood in the name of this institution that these Christian loudmouths are so piously defending. It convinced me that marriage was a trap I never wanted to stick my head into...ever. To hell with the haters...if gays and lesbians can find the kind of happiness that was denied my parents, then let them marry.
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Mark Van Kekerix
An Ordinary Gay Guy
05:12 PM on 11/03/2011
Jay - I understand your skepticism about marriage, and given your description of your parents' experience, I'm not terribly surprised.

Even knowing the risks, my partner and I chose to get married. We've been together for six years, and married for two. We're both in our forties, and were previously married (to women), although we did not meet each other until long after our divorces.

But we still talk about growing old together, we still make plans for what we're going to do in our retirement, and in fact just the other day we were talking about where we would want to be buried (together)! We are definitely in this for the long haul.

We're not kidding ourselves - we know that keeping a marriage together for that long is going to take work. And we're well aware of the possibility that we won't make it. But we choose to be optimistic.

And I can't beleive that there are so many groups out there that would snatch that optimism away from us if they could.

I hope you will someday find the right person to make you happy, whether you choose to get married or not.
Jay Haney
My nuclear family imploded when I was 18. I've bee
07:54 PM on 11/03/2011
As far as that last sentiment, Mr. Van Kekerix, that makes two of us. Thanks!
HUFFPOST SUPER USER
JudeOnPolitics
11:03 AM on 11/03/2011
When King Nebuchadnezzar was tricked into signing an edict making it a crime to pray to anyone except the king, Daniel just did not comply with the law. That is what we are to do...not comply. You can't legislate sin. No matter what goes on our books, God's Book is how we conduct ourselves.

Social engineering is not a matter for Congress, but a matter for the religious leaders. It is a waste of Congress' time to put forth legislation that is not their job.

Congress is to protect and defend the Constitution of the United States from all enemies foreign and domestic. (Read this:) http://www.archives.gov/exhibits/charters/constitution_transcript.html
The enemy of the U. S. right now is our domestic, self-centered, self-serving, collect the bribes, do-nothing Congress.

God says vengance is His. God also says we are not to judge others, He is the judge.
The directive from our Lord is to spread the Good News, PRAY for the lost, help the needy, and set an example of love and servitude to others. Today's sinner may become tomorrow's saint.

God also directs us to do our jobs to the best of our ability. Be discerning, Are your politicians of choice doing their job to the best of their ability. Are they keeping their oath?
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StevenKeirstead
Photographer and Biologist who happens to be gay.
01:55 PM on 11/03/2011
Off topic.
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usmcqtco
This is a republic, not a democracy. Let's keep it
07:14 PM on 11/03/2011
The only part of the current Congress which is do-nothing is the Democrat Senate.
01:59 PM on 11/07/2011
Really? The Democrats in the Senate are the ones blocking all the bills? Really??
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demisfine
Often correct, NEVER right.
10:43 AM on 11/03/2011
The Small Government hypocrites want the government to determine who can do what with whom in their own bedrooms, in their marriages and families.
This is none of their business.
Newt Gingrich is living proof that love is personal, changeable and no one's business.
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