Family Values, Schmamily Values: The GOP's Bristol/Levi Hypocrisy

Well it seems that the latter-day Joseph and Mary trophies of the religious right-wing pro-life movement have been tarnished and their lackluster bronze has turned a gangrenous green, which is starting to show through the shoddy, flaking shiny gold paint (applied so gingerly for their RNC debutante debut). It seems poor Tripp (a quite apropos name considering his conception in itself was a stumbling gaffe) will remain a bastard after all (meant in the biblical sense only--I'm sure he's a swell little feller).

A bastard shall not enter into the congregation of the LORD; even to his tenth generation shall he not enter into the congregation of the LORD. (Deut.23:2)--King James Bible

It appears that John McCain's hearty handshake, the Christian Radical Right's unconditional love for the life of Bristol's illicit gestation and GILF-y Grandma Palin's half-cocked shotgun were not enough to let this hitching go forward without a hitch. After the campaign folded so did Levi's schwag bags full of NHL tickets, signed WWF memorabilia, cold hard cash and whatever else it took to keep his pot-smokin', sh*t-kickin', rabble-rousin', redneck mouth shut. After months of awkwardly stuffing his broad-shouldered hockey bad-boy body into formal designer duds (gratis of the Sarah's heavily abused RNC slush fund) he can finally lose the tie, throw on a Natty-Light-stained hockey jersey, put on his trusty, well worn cup, blast Winger's "She's Only Seventeen" from the speakers of his shiny new red Chevy Silverado pick-up truck (the obvious ride of an unemployed high school dropout) and go raise some hell in the Land of the Midnight Sun.

It's all not really that surprising, actually. Much like the real-life aftermaths to all the really awful reality shows that we hate ourselves for watching and obsessing over (see the Bachelor, Joe Millionaire and Flavor of Love), once the season ends all the principle players go their separate ways (only to be pointed and chuckled at in chance encounters at the local 7-Eleven or Texaco Station).

Meanwhile, Bristol is allegedly "devastated" by the loss of her baby-daddy and would-be hillbilly-heroin-in-law (Sherri Johnston--currently out of the clink). I'm sure it was quite a whirlwind romance that led to tiny Tripp's being conceived in illegitimate, underage sin, most likely to the tune Danity Kane's "Damaged" (after Levi talked our little Juno Lynn Spears into raiding Mommy's old kush stash, being a good Christian and helping him keep warm... really warm... without the use of any of those silly pagan penis protectors). Yup, a good old-fashioned wholesome courtship.

To be honest, I'm still not quite sure how the fundamentalist fringe came to embrace this disgrace in the first place (I'm only passing judgment by their own standards here: Hosea 5:7, Hebrews 12:5-8). Not only did they forgive and forget just because the fetus was spared but paraded these two about in front of the entire RNC like they actually had something to be proud of. This Cult of Life which has taken a stranglehold on the Republican Party also cheered as poor little Trig was being exploited as a token, passed around from person to person for photo ops like a little special-needs hot potato (he was even held by a very reluctant Cindy McCain, who looked a mite perturbed about the possibility of an upchuck incident on her 300,000-dollar ensemble, and eventually soundly licked by his adorable older sister Piper Palin--awwww!).

What about now that the fruit of Bristol's desecrated loins will not to be consecrated in ad hoc holy matrimony? Will they abandon her to the eternal flames of hell or find yet another way to rationalize championing her coerced commitment to carrying a misbegotten child to term in defiance of the Law of their Lord? More importantly, how do they spin this ill-fated turn of events to elect their Goddess-Head Rapture-obsessed lipstick laden Pit Bull soccer-mom idol in 2012? Is this really the party of family values? If so, where is the "family" or the "values"? What is the sound of a party imploding?

Comments

[Warren Holstein - Huffpost Blogger]

CLARIFICATION: First off I have no problems with babies being born out of wedlock, Bristol or Tripp. I actually think it was quite sad that a 17-year old girl was forced to make a politically expedient decision in the midst of her opportunist mother"s run for office. Could she really objectively decide on not having the child, adoption or being a single mother in such a high stakes situation?

I refer to the biblical reference of "bastard" only to point out the hypocrisy of the fundamentalist fringe that championed their nuptials as the "right thing to do". I myself am agnostic. If one has a problem with the tone or harshness of such language I suggest you take it up with the author of the Good Book and not this comedic editorial.

If not for the baby in her belly, would Sara have seriously advocated her daughter"s life-long commitment to a high school drop out, whose mother was brought up on drug-dealing charges, and according to his MySpace Page refers to himself as a "f - - -in' redneck", boasts "Ya f - - - with me I'll kick [your] ass," and writes "I don't want kids"? Hardly the reliable breadwinner.

However, instead of sacrificing her political career for her family she incorporated her frightened, confused daughter"s tragedy into her political narrative, recruiting a pro-life fan base and began the pattern of alternately attacking the media and then inviting it in to feast upon her daughter"s mishap.

[mollymac]

No actually this is not an attack on 2 teens and a baby. This is an attack on hypocrisy and double standards by the repubs and the bible thumpers. I am quite frankly glad that they are deciding to not marry. This is not a big issue in my life however, as the Palins and their downhome bubba-dom is really inconsequential in the big picture. Having said that, with our world in chaos we still have to be subjected to loony as a brickbat Sarah Palin and her family! WHY? Don't we have an economy to figure out? Homes to save and our own children to take care of? As Rhett Butler once famously said, "quite frankly my dear, I don't give a damn.'

[orihime]

Sorry but this article is an attack on a baby and two teens. You have just insulted a lot of American families. Teen pregnancy happens - yes even to Christians. Bristol is not the first teen pregnant and she won't be the last. She and her family and Levi are dealing with it as best they can. I admire Sarah Palin for standing up and supporting her daughter. Not all girls are so lucky to have a loving family like that.

True Christians believe in compassion and forgiveness. Jesus stopped a mob from stoning a woman and said, "He that is without sin among you, let him first cast a stone at her."

Time to move on to other topics. People need to get a life and leave Bristol and Levi and their baby alone!

[zonny]

Is Tripp named after Linda?

[33Greeper]

Maybe she can have another misbegotten child with this Redneck and name it Falll. Then the Bible Spice Winky can trot out both bastard grandchildren in the 2012 election run-up and say: "These are my grandchildren, Tripp and Falll. They kind of remind me of where my political career is going" LOL

[LeftRight]

Personally I feel sorry for Bristol and Levi. They both made a mistake. A fairly serious mistake which will have consequences for the rest of baby Tripp's life.

How I feel, however, has little to do with the fact that SARAH is a hypocrite!! I'm sorry, but we ALL know that abstinence only sex ed fails FAR FAR FAR FAR more often than it succeeds, and when Sarah had the proof of that living under her own roof, she STILL failed to consider how she was harming other young women!!!

I bet that the rightwingnutjobs will think that you are making fun of Bristol here.... It's not the case, though. This is a post not about Bristol, Levi, or even Sarah directly. This is a post about all the people who claim to be pro-life, and then have no respect for humans. This is a post about all the people who call single motherhood the most dangerous thing to western civilization, but cheer Bristol. This is a post about those who refuse to use their minds, even as they use their brains!!

[propitiousmoment]

I'm not a rightwingnutjob, and I object to the coarse tone of this article, and I object to making it about Bristol when it's really about her mother and the other hypocrites who make up the right.

And by the way, not all rightwing conservative christians are hypocrites, a fact that also gets overlooked in the media splash over the outrageous behavior of the ones who are.

[LeftRight]

First, you read the words of this article without understanding the underlying point.

Second, I never said that all rightwing conservatives are hypocrites, or even rightwingnutjobs. What I said was that those who ARE hypocrites are the ones that I have a problem with!

[KellyinNE]

Palin apparently doesn't believe in abstinence-only sex ed - she believes in teaching contraception in schools:

http://articles.latimes.com/2008/sep/06/nation/na-sexed6

[mstfl22]

Good luck - I've tried to point that out many times. You are going to find that they just don't care. They have too much invested in the Palin caricature to let a little thing like the truth get in the way.

[JohnFromCensornati]

Je$u$ does seem remarkably flexible provided that you don't kill "babies".

[LeftRight]

Please, they're called fetuses!

[propitiousmoment]

Let's give it a rest, 'kay? This article reads like the comments section of politico, over here on HuffPo where we should know better. We're already aware of the hypocrisy, etc., etc., etc. We don't need to have it all rehashed in ever-coarsening tones. Let's let Bristol live her life, it's not her fault her mother ran for v.p., or anything else her mother did. Give the girl a break, she didn't ask to be used for political points or to have her personal drama smeared all over the national media. Just leave her alone now, and let her try to get her life together in whatever measure of peace she can find.

[Warren Holstein - Huffpost Blogger]

She is an 18 year old woman who chose as an adult to keep herself in the limelight by giving a national interview to the Fox News Network's Fox News' Greta Van Susteren.

I am not "we" and am calling out hypocrisy where I see it. As long as she continues to be part of Mommy's homespun narrative for the 2012 run, she is fair game for criticism. I personally have no problem with her and agree she has been a victim of both a lack of parenting and manipulation in Sarah's political calculations but the fact that her and Levi's highly pressured decision to "make a go of it" for the sake of the child has been held up as an example is nauseating and must be called out. How many more lives must be destroyed by making two young people with overactive hormones and a lack of contraception pair up and raise an unwanted child because it's right in the eyes of the Lord.

[MsMsBurning]

I agree. Nobody, not even her moose huntin' mommy, held a gun to her head to make media appearances.

[propitiousmoment]

That interview was a while ago and it was partly an attempt to point out what's wrong with her mother's position on birth control. How long are you going to milk that one interview for blogger points? She's not putting herself out there as part of mommy's narrative, mommy is doing that. Bristol is doing her best to make the break from mommy, by refusing to marry Levi, and by making the public statement that she did during that interview - which was hijacked by mommy, by the way. All I'm saying is let's leave Bristol alone and focus on her mother, the real villain of the piece.

[mstfl22]

I know its fun to just make stuff up about Gov. Palin, but maybe we ought to be a little careful about some. For example, pretty hard to keep up this "abstinence only" canard when Palin said in the 2006 gubernatorial debate when asked about sex education in school:

"I'm pro-contraception, and I think kids who may not hear about it at home should hear about it in other avenues."

If we're not careful, instead of creating a caricature we can use to scare people about her, we might just end up making ourselves look like fools or liars.

[JohnFromCensornati]

"she didn't ask to be used for political points"

How do you know this?