Worse Spokespeople Than Bristol Palin
So a lot of people have been giving poor little Miss (not Mrs. mind you) Bristol Palin flack for actively advocating abstinence as a realistic option for the disaffected, hyper-sexualized MTV Generation (not by example but by hypocrisy).
To be fair, she is not alone. A good share of public personages have recently taken unexpected stances on major issues of the day. Here are ten of them:
1. George W. Bush for RIF (Reading Is Fundamental). He's is not just the former president, he's a client.
2. John and Elizabeth Edwards to host Parents Without Partners mixers. In hopes of finally pairing off party-girl Rielle Hunter and her illegitimately conceived offspring. They're waiting till after the Oprah appearance, though, as ongoing rumors of the not-so-immaculate conception will no doubt boost book sales (Oprah's Book Club? Fingers crossed!).
3. Dick Cheney to head Brady Campaign to Prevent Gun Violence. Why shoot someone solely in the head when you and your compatriots can waterboard him 183 times? Bullets are for p*ssies!... or close friends in the woods.
4. David Duke becomes major supporter of NAACP. Advocates new "no Colored or Jew" membership plan.
5. Wilbur (of Charlotte's Web fame) named new spokespig for Tourism in Mexico. Claims Swine Flu Pandemic to be anti-Mexican media driven conspiracy and that the Mesoamerican hot spot is actually "some", "terrific", "radiant", "humble" country. Offers free buttermilk baths to first 100 people to book a flight. Still continues to cross-promote his international crusade against arachnophobia.
6. Nadya Suleman argues for hysterectomies. As long as all removed uteruses are implanted within her body (AKA the "Baby Factory ").
7. Ron Paul makes the case for the Somali pirate's plight. Proposes we contract them as an independent militia to overthrow our over-bloated federal agencies and restore the gold standard, starting with the doubloon (YouTube video coming soon--currently being transferred from his Betamax machine).
8. Noam Chomsky becomes the new face of the WTO (World Trade Organization). Points out that while it is simply a tool to enforce hegemonic obedience to U.S. interests and rationalize our intervention across the globe, it sure is fun to run. Overheard to say: "Wow, what a rush! Suck it, Nader!!!"
9. Rick Santelli starts up Tea Baggers for Taxes. Abandoning all previous qualms with Obama's economic policies, he now calls on all citizens to send packages of Earl Grey, Orange Pekoe, Green, Oolong, and Darjeeling tea to both congressmen and senators who advocate not only for the mortgage bailout but universal healthcare, public works projects and education reform. His bizarre behavior is rumored to be related to recent unconventional glaucoma treatments received in California. Has also been seen doing shots with Rielle Hunter (currently searching for a step-baby daddy--she gets around), who's allegedly working on sweet talking him into producing and starring in a re-make of Network for TBS.
10. Levi Johnson for Planned Parenthood. Perhaps the best reason to support a woman's right to choose.
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i love the picture from perezhilton.com
100mil in 100days? George Bush really thinks he can read.
I can't understand why Bristol suddenly decided to become a spokesperson and travel around the country. Could she be establishing herself in the public eye in hope of running for office someday? Please tell me I'm wrong!
OH! What a scary thought.
I think it probably was her mom's idea, and it had a lot more to do with rehabbing Sarah's "Family Values" image....she's preparing for a Completely Delusional Presidential Campaign in 2012, also too, you betcha.
Talk about a hot mess of a train wreck!
The Palins could multi-task on the importance of graduating from high school and going on to college and, you know, studying. Because they are finding out the hard way that education helps because looks and influence aren't everything, you know? Well, they might be the most important thing, the easiest thing, but studying could help. Just a vague feeling, but education might work for the little people.
i think we should engage humanity on a civil disourse over humanity's inhumanity to humanity.
Hysterical! Especially the quip about Levi Johnson....
Better late than never, I say. The very serious problems faced by single parents, and their cost to American society isn't a subject for lame comedic shtick.
If Bristol Palin does something good with her lesson and helps prevent ONE teen pregnancy, then, good for her.
All single parents are not on welfare. Where did you get that from?
Also, Bristol is not going to prevent any teen from having sex. She knows this. This is why she said, she first said, "abstinence is unrealistic".
single parenthood is preventable. play the hand you dealt.
St. Bristol
Would someone please tell me if they've ever seen Tripp Palin when he wasn't swaddled with nothing other than his face showing---eyes closed, completely stiff and motionless like a board?
The baby is five months old. Every video I've seen of him is the same. Why is he so stiff and always eyes closed (but not looking like he's naturally sleeping)?
Seriously. Is Tripp okay?
How many of you unwed teenage mothers out there would like a job like this?
All you have to say is, "I only did it once.. It was a mistake..none of you ever do it ... but......my baby is a blessing from God .. and this baby is the best thing that has every happened to me"
And for this you get to travel the country free.. and make 6 figures for it ..
And by the way we will find someone to take care of the kid for you .
All that you said is ridiculous.
1. Nobody believes Bristol only had sex once.
2. She is calling her baby a mistake, not a blessing.
3. Who said she is making money, let along 6y figures on her campaign?
What is ridiculous is that this teenage screw up, who's only accomplishment was not using birth control, feels like she can impart any wisdom about anything to anyone.
Whatever Bristol Pallin "advises" you to do, I would do the opposite.
good job!
Michael Steele just rang me personally to say he has rethought his position and is now promoting serious music, ya know, like country and western.
ooooo, both kinds :-)
Very funny but how could GOP mouthpiece Joe the Plumber be missed on the list?
You're right. I guess I could have made him leader of the Log Cabin Republicans but now that he is leaving the GOP... how about an actual "Plumber" since he is actually does not have certification for even that. He is a joke :)
His could be the campaign to eliminate Identity Theft. And Larry Craig leads the Log Cabin Republicans merrily along their delusion...
How about Hitler being the spokesperson for the Anti-Defamation League? Nope. Still not as funny as Bristol for abstinance.
I would hardly consider George W. Bush a "spokesperson" for Reading Is Fundamental given that he proposed to eliminate ALL of their funding in 2001, and again in 2008, despite the fact that his wife had served in RIF's advisory council, and his mother was also involved with the organization.
See stories from 2008:
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/margaret-mcnamara-pastor-and-nancy-richardson-carl/congress-dont-close-the-b_b_104998.html
http://www.usatoday.com/news/washington/2008-02-11-bushcuts_N.htm
That is the point...
I know... I know... I just remember writing all these letter to Congress to try reinstate RIF's funding since they are such a great organization! Seeing him linked to RIF even in satyre made my blood boil. :-p
I'm listening to Mike Pence's Science Lecture.....gotta go.....He's about start with evolution......
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