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Wayne Besen

Wayne Besen

Posted: June 9, 2010 12:05 PM

A couple of week ago I wrote, "The war over gay rights in America and other modern nations has been largely won. Too many people have come out of the closet and will never go back in for the clock to be turned back."

This trend towards acceptance has only accelerated since my column and may have reached a tipping point. New York Times columnist Charles Blow wrote about a new Gallup Poll that found, for the first time, the percentage of Americans who perceive "gay and lesbian relations" as morally acceptable has crossed the 50 percent mark. Also, for the first time, the percentage of men who hold that view is greater than the percentage of women who do.

Blow attributes these advancements to LGBT people coming out and the realization that it is primarily weirdos and socially stunted hypocrites who are obsessed or threatened by homosexuality.

"Virulent homophobes are increasingly being exposed for engaging in homosexuality," wrote Blow. "Many heterosexual men see this, and they don't want to be associated with it. It's like being antigay is becoming the old gay. Not cool."

Blow is correct. Normal, healthy, functional heterosexuals do not become paranoid or fixated on homosexuals. It is primarily people with sexual hang-ups, extreme religious indoctrination or deep, dark secrets that are preoccupied and consumed by the sexual orientation of others.

Of course, this does not mean that all supporters of civil rights for LGBT people are comfortable with the idea of gay sex. The good news is they don't have to be. While speaking across the nation I have found an easy way of diffusing this issue. I ask the crowd to look at people they assume are heterosexual in the audience. Then, I ask if they would want to see all of the people they stared at having sexual intercourse.

The answer is inevitably and resoundingly, "No." Then, I simply make the point that there are many people, heterosexual and homosexual, they would not want to witness in bed. And, they never have to unless they elect to do so -- making any objections in terms of the "ick" factor moot. As simple as this sounds, it works and audiences "get it."

Adding momentum to the LGBT struggle for equality is a cute McDonald's television commercial in France that dealt with a teenager who had not yet told his father he was gay. The message of the campaign is, "come as you are, just leave a little fatter." Okay, I added the last part.

While such an ad is not likely to air in the United States anytime soon, it does not have to in order to have a positive impact. Thanks to the Internet and talk shows, millions of people will see the ad and associate the message with their beloved Golden Arches.

Speaking of the impact of social media, in Newsweek, Joshua Alston made the case that websites such as Facebook are accelerating the demise of the closet. He wrote about the, "painstaking labor that goes into being secretly gay in the age of information sharing." His advice to a friend who was outed by a seemingly innocuous tweet: "if you want to be in the closet, you can't be on Facebook and Twitter."

Crucial to the sudden surge of success is the falling of ugly stereotypes, such as the old canard that LGBT people are a threat to children. This week, the research journal, Pediatrics, published a study by Nanette Gartrell, a professor of psychiatry at University of California, San Francisco and Henry Bos, a behavioral scientist at University of Amsterdam. The article discussed a landmark study that measured the long-term affects on children who were raised by lesbian parents.

"We simply expected to find no difference in psychological adjustment between adolescents reared in lesbian families and the normative sample of age-matched controls," says Gartrell. "I was surprised to find that on some measures we found higher levels of [psychological] competency and lower levels of behavioral problems. It wasn't something I anticipated."

Finally, The Human Rights Campaign reports that Kaiser Permanente updated its Patients' Bill of Rights to fully protect LGBT patients and their families from discrimination. These changes make Kaiser Permanente the first large health network to have a fully inclusive non-discrimination policy for LGBT people.

Sure, full legal equality may take two decades and the battle against bigotry will last forever. But, there is no denying that the LGBT movement is on the move like never before. The homophobes are finally the minority and appearing more secluded and deluded by the day. It's not time to crack open a bottle of champagne, but feel free to treat your self to a cold beer and appreciate the progress.

 

Follow Wayne Besen on Twitter: www.twitter.com/Truthwinout

 
 
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
StopCensoringMe
Aghast at the stupidity and bigotry
06:15 PM on 06/09/2010
Wish it were so. But, two decades is way over-optimistic. It was in the 1970's that America tried to do something as obvious as provide WOMEN with equal rights. Failed. They still do not have Constitutional equality. As much as I want this "war" to be over, there are many more chapters to be written before it is so. Sad. Don't let up. Never surrender.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
marignymitch
E pluribus unum percent
01:40 PM on 06/09/2010
Thanks. I'll take comfort in the knowledge that the community is on the move after DADT and DOMA repeal fails.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Contact1972
BigGayInc
03:19 AM on 06/10/2010
DADT and DOMA have not failed as yet. We'll have to wait and see and cross that bridge if we get there.
12:49 PM on 06/09/2010
If you have the job skills and are in good health, think about moving to Canada and then sponsoring your partner's move to Canada at a later date. With the likely increase in Republicans in the next Congress, Federal reforms to benefit gays are even less likely than they are now.
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Madison Reed
Over the course of my life, through my travels and
01:16 PM on 06/09/2010
@robinhood2:

Yeah, that's the advice that Bush's Home Security gave to American's like myself. We were advised to leave the United States and find another country to take us. Some of us have already been forced to do this, but why should we accept such hostile denial of our fundamental human rights? It is completely unacceptable!
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
elijah24
Ubuntu
04:14 PM on 06/09/2010
Hell no, Madison! Stay here. This is your home and we need your vote.
The dinosaurs were big and powerful for a while, just as homophobes have been. These two groups will also share the same fate.
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Madison Reed
Over the course of my life, through my travels and
12:23 PM on 06/09/2010
Wayne, and others,

Please remember the tens of thousands of same-sex binational couples. We need help from our LGBT and straight friends: http://imeq.us/our_stories/stories.html

My partner and I are soon to enter our 7th year of living separated from each other. I live in West Virginia. He lives in Belarus. I haven't been able to visit him for more than 2 years now. Belarus is one of the most homophobic countries in Eastern Europe.

Why won't the United States just let our life partners/spouses visit us freely, until we have marriage equality, or until we can petition for them to enter the United States for permanent residency? Or maybe an equality state could issue and invitation to our partners, so that they can get a tourist visa to enter the United States so that we can be legally married? How about extending the same rights to the foreign partners of common American citizens, that the U.S. government has recently given to the foreign partners of its own federal employees?
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
tombollocks
03:01 PM on 06/09/2010
I feel for you, Madison. I happen to be in the same boat. Luckily, I can visit my partner one a year. .....did I say luckily?!?!? No, like you, I'm not lucky. Each time my visits end, it is more painful saying goodbye.

Our only chance so far is a work visa, if he could get a sponsor. I can't move there because I don't have the skills (degree), while here, I have a great job, with excellent pay and benefits (I created the position for myself-now that's luck!). So for now, we are stuck with 2-hour weekend cam chats, and daily message chats. :(
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
elijah24
Ubuntu
04:21 PM on 06/09/2010
Straight friend here. My senators and congressman know my name because of this issue. (and my congressman knows I will run against him if he is still here in 2020 and still hasn't addressed this issue) What else can I do to help? I can't imagine what this must be like for you. I want to help if I can.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Contact1972
BigGayInc
06:10 PM on 06/09/2010
It's so depressing and disgusting how badly were treated by our government. My partner and I have fought this for too many years. If at all possible, were moving and not coming back until the US moves into the 21st century when it comes to GLBT issues.