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Wayne Maines
Wayne Maines is the proud father of identical twins, one a boy and one a girl. He is an Air Force veteran, typically a reserved and conservative man, whose values and beliefs were tested when one of his twin boys said, "Daddy, I am really a girl." His family is featured in a new book Becoming Nicole: The Transformation of An American Family. The Maines family has been recognized by the Matthew Shepard Foundation (2015), the American Civil Liberties Union of Maine (2011 Roger Baldwin Award) and by Equality Maine (2012 P.E. Pentlarge Award) for their extraordinary efforts toward ending discrimination against transgender Mainers. He has been a public speaker at the national and state level in his chosen field of work. Now he has turned his attention to using these same skills to help others understand, accept, and support transgender youth.

Entries by Wayne Maines

Veterans Day Is a Good Day to Start a New Discussion

(1) Comments | Posted November 11, 2015 | 11:00 PM

On Veterans Day, I saw this post from my cousin.

OK, here we go; I will more than likely loose some friends and family over this but anyway. I am so pissed off right now I could chew nails. President Obama vetoed a bipartisan defense bill because he wants more...
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A New Priority: Looking Ahead to College with My Transgender Daughter

(0) Comments | Posted December 30, 2014 | 4:15 PM

The tree was up, packed full with presents. Granny was sleeping on the couch and at that moment life is good and the future is bright. It is a perfect night; the end to a great year. A year that has shown my children that good things happen if you...

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Finding Common Ground

(0) Comments | Posted September 8, 2014 | 4:31 PM

The first generation of transgender children is stepping forward in a powerful way. Children that have taught us who they are and who they need to be and now they are on the edge of adulthood. They are hell bent on challenging their parents, occasionally questioning all adult behavior and...

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My Recent Trip to Russia

(0) Comments | Posted June 18, 2014 | 2:36 PM

Six months ago I started planning for a trip to Russia. I was to accompany a group of students and faculty on a two-week educational exchange. We were going to visit Moscow, Saint Petersburg and Yaroslavl.

I had always wanted to visit this nation. I knew that many changes...

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Protecting Religious Freedom in Maine and Beyond

(0) Comments | Posted March 19, 2014 | 1:06 PM

A few weeks ago I spent one afternoon on the U.S. Coast Guard Cutter BRIDLE, a 65-foot ship stationed in Maine. It was a pleasure to watch our military personnel work as a team keeping the traffic lanes on the Penobscot River open for commerce. Every time I work with...

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Father of Transgender Teen Celebrates Historic Victory

(4) Comments | Posted February 11, 2014 | 7:13 PM

This past summer Nicole and I spent a beautiful evening on a wedding cruise around Casco Bay in Portland, Maine. We watched history being made as our new friend Derry's transgender daughter and her partner celebrated their marriage. Derry is a well-respected senior attorney, a Mainer with a big heart....

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Transgender Family Thanksgiving Celebrations

(17) Comments | Posted November 21, 2013 | 2:38 PM

I dream about the day when families with transgender children will be able to have classic Thanksgiving celebrations, gathering at the family homestead, kids playing in the basement, a football game on TV in the living room and amazing smells wafting throughout Grandma and Grandpa's big old house. Unfortunately, many...

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Respect Or Acceptance -- Which Should We Choose?

(10) Comments | Posted September 30, 2013 | 6:35 PM

Over the past year I have been writing and speaking out to introduce people to transgender youth and transgender rights. The lectures are always emotional; they open raw wounds, reminding me of how much my transgender daughter, her friends and their families continue to endure across the nation.

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Transgender Children, a Tree Stand and Family Traditions

(7) Comments | Posted August 20, 2013 | 7:11 PM

As fall approaches, I am drawn to my tree stand, which has sat idle for a number of years. Sitting in tree stands and watching nature up close has been a big part of my life. It is the setting of a family tradition of hunting, watching owls and blue...

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My First Rainbow Ball

(12) Comments | Posted May 13, 2013 | 11:28 AM

I have not written in my journal in quite some time. I have been very busy at work and busy trying to help keep the kids on track at school and at home. But I did find time for Nicole and I spend a weekend at the University of Maine...

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A Simple Valentine's Day Dance

(19) Comments | Posted February 7, 2013 | 5:31 PM

Nicole was 10 years old, openly attending school as a transgender girl, and Valentine's Day was right around the corner. I was working late on a farm safety problem when Dave, the custodian, poked his head into my office to say "hi." Dave often shares a few words of old...

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I Wish You Were My Dad

(13) Comments | Posted January 2, 2013 | 11:25 AM

2012 has been a year of many ups and downs, stresses and loneliness for me as I spend the weeks away from my family. Until recently the year was ending on a down note, but you never know who is going to pick you up.

After the

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Finding New Allies in Unique Places

(6) Comments | Posted December 21, 2012 | 5:31 PM

You never know when or where you might meet someone who is going to inspire or help you. It could be at work, in the grocery store, at church or at the hunting camp. This time it was at work. An amazing new friend inspired me to reach out beyond...

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Remaining Hopeful After a Disappointing Court Decision, But How Do I Tell My Daughter?

(22) Comments | Posted November 29, 2012 | 3:15 PM

Last week, after five years of struggle, pain, hard work and hope, a Superior Court judge ruled that the Orono school system did not violate the Maine Human Rights Act when it prohibited my daughter Nicole from using the restroom that matches her gender identity.

Upon learning of...

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Stories Move the Walls That Need to Be Moved

(13) Comments | Posted November 9, 2012 | 3:07 PM

This semester I have met some exceptional students at the University of Maine. One day early in the year I stopped by the Rainbow Resource (GLBT) Center. As I turned the corner young people were everywhere, on couches, sitting on tables and the floor; sporting tattoos, earrings of all kinds...

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Election Day Is About Change and Saying 'Thank You'

(5) Comments | Posted October 17, 2012 | 12:04 PM

This past June we were invited to the White House to celebrate LGBT Pride Month. It seemed like a dream that only became reality when we entered the White House gates. Each turn brought a new adventure and a chance to talk to amazing people who are on the same...

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Dear Family and Friends: My Son Is Really My Daughter

(86) Comments | Posted October 2, 2012 | 1:30 PM

My last post talked about "Going Stealth" about my transgender child's identity at school and in our community. Deciding whom to tell is a complicated, risk-filled and dynamic process. Dynamic because at different ages, the risks and rules change. Each phase of the decision-making process requires asking questions....

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'Going Stealth': A Complicated and Dynamic Family Decision

(878) Comments | Posted August 6, 2012 | 1:49 PM

A few years ago we had to move to a new town, to a new school. Ongoing bullying, harassment and discrimination left us with no choice but to leave our beautiful home, our friends and our community. We are not alone. Families raising transgender children face the same plight throughout...

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Amazing Women Helping One Dad Help His Daughter

(2) Comments | Posted July 12, 2012 | 2:17 PM

The most amazing woman I know is my wife, and I really need to tell her how special she is more often, but she is my wife and these words regularly go unspoken. Thank you for all that you do to keep our family strong.

When I need them, the...

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A School Version of "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" With a Lady Gaga Twist

(12) Comments | Posted June 28, 2012 | 4:41 PM

As I continue to try to make the world a safer place for my transgender daughter and her friends it seems like I am destined to say I want to help and need to ask others to help. Asking others to help is not always easy, but doing so is...

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