Not about Governor Sarah Palin, Just The Edwards Scandal
What a political scandal feels like to a staffer--current, former or "it's complicated"--is an awful lot like grief.
There are stages. There is the initial chaos where the stories appear fast and furious like punches only Palin, Craig, Vitter, Foley, Spitzer, and Clinton, etc staffers can understand. Each story about John Edwards's affair and cover-up is a bruising and makes you hope that the truth is on the way so they stop and you can get back to work.
There is the stage of denial. John said it was all lies before he and the lawyers even released statements. Maybe he's being quiet because he's building a libel case like Carol Burnett won against the National Enquirer? If he's still calling to discuss the convention speech, that must mean something.
There is anger. Did he really pay her that much while so many worked longer hours for much less? Did they really put out those statements? Did I just watch "When Animals Attack 2 and 3" in order to avoid picking up the phone?
There is also a stage of dark humor. How can there not be with this cast of characters: a friend named Pigeon, the Sisters Druck, a father linked to insurance fraud by having a horse electrocuted, a spiritual advisor described as an "intuitive" (clearly, still working on his craft.), the website Being is Free (thank you Deceiver.com), a rumored vasectomy, a family moved across the country so they can all live in a house right out of a script from "Big Love," a presidential campaign based on a lie, and of course, the movie, "Overboard."
There is sorrow too--far more than I ever share with people. It comes during those quiet times when I'm walking the dog; shutting the office door, or printing a speech that will never be delivered. And my heart breaks for those kids, as politics helped destroy my own family, too.
There is doubt, especially about people. How could the same man who pulled me to the front of the plane near tears as he told me his wife had cancer string together all these lies? How could I have been so stupid to defend his character after Bob Shrum's book was published? And every career decision made since I left Senator Hillary Clinton's office in 2003 is in question. Those years and work now seem so wasted.
And so yeah, a little cynicism settles in. Politics isn't the art of what's possible; it's the art of the charade. Speeches sound like Karaoke Michael Bolton and it's unclear I'll want to write another political speech again. And then slowly, acceptance creeps in. My boss is deeply flawed like the rest of them. Whether it's Watergate or a woman, my grandfather's words sung by Billie Holiday say it best; it's "the same old story, but it's new to me."
Many have said their piece, including me. I forgive John because he's my friend. I suggested some things he could do to do a better job at making amends--yes, including the obvious. I still get mad, sad, and everything in between, but I choose to forgive. Some may view that as naïve. That's just how I live because I know I'll mess up soon enough, and hope someone's there to take my hand, too.
Many will never get beyond the anger and that's understandable. Every condemnation is deserved. God knows, I swore like Dick Cheney. Unfortunately, this scandal won't go away. It will continue to hang at the edges until the paternity of the child is established. I took John at his word then and I do my best now.
But here's the really tough part of a scandal. Not how it ends or when it ends. But getting to a place where you can ask, "Can any good come of this?" Because the work thousands of people got involved with in the Senate, 2004 and 2008 shouldn't be viewed as a waste. It matters--closing the economic divides in this country matters.
It's not easy when things are still such a mess. In our own lives, it's rarely in the middle of a success and clarity that we think, "Wow. How can things be better?" It's when we are surrounded by our mistakes, in that lonely place between uncertainty and insight, where we try to find that good and build back something better. Can't this be true for a political scandal? Isn't our country covered in the scars from where our leaders fell? Can't something good come from this even if doubts linger?
Yes. It starts with something basic: how we speak about the baby. Think about how she's begun her life. Her mother is in hiding. Her name calls up too many hits on Google. Journalists demean her when they call her "Love child," "illegitimate," or "you'll be able to tell the Daddy by the way she primps her hair."
Think about what her life is going to be like. The National Enquirer has said that they will be on this story "forever." That means every time her birthday rolls around, they will take her picture and run it alongside John's. It will be on record for her to check as she grows older, for the Edwards's children to check as they grow older.
Why can't this scandal bring out that other part of humanity, the empathy part where we know that you don't say those things about a baby? Condemn the adults--all of them--but leave the child alone.
With this empathy, we should be able to listen a little better and hear what isn't being talked about in between the detailed discussions about lipstick, animals, who's lying more, and who can send an email: a meaningful discussion about ending poverty.
Whether the pundits on TV or political writers or joke-tellers want to admit it, one of the leading voices for working people and economic justice has been silenced. For the first time in forty years, we had a national leader--agree or disagree with him--who was at least willing to spend every day fighting to strengthen our middle class by 36 million people. John can no longer do that and it's his fault. But it's still a loss.
So who will fill this void? While people can rejoice in the fallen messenger, the message still stands.
There are still 36 million Americans who wake up every day in poverty and millions and millions more who live on the edge and most work. There are veterans sleeping under bridges and getting food from dumpsters while we are at war and there's no outrage. Tent cities pop up because too many are losing their homes. We now own a piece of Fannie Mae, Freddie Mac and AIG and the economy has stopped working for most Americans. The scandal didn't end any of these struggles or diminish the work at HalfinTen.org. It didn't alter a single truth about the inequities in this country. And yet, this void exists.
While the personal grief in all of this is real, the political loss may be the greatest of all if we have to wait another forty years to finish the work President Johnson and the great Sargent Shriver started all those years ago.
If another national leader could pick up the megaphone John had to put down, then that would be something good to come of this scandal, as well.
In the last speech John delivered to the AARP before the "Nightline" interview, he used a refrain, "Remember us." He had just finished giving a radio interview and we were talking in the green room and I was worried the phrase could be used in an unflattering way. He was quiet and said, "It's okay."
It's what a man in Uganda said to him. It's what a woman said to him under a bridge in New Orleans. It's what too many say in our country. What upsets me most is that this scandal can be used as an excuse to forget that woman, that man, and the work.
Everything has changed and nothing has changed since this scandal broke. There are still Two Americas and a country that longs for one. We can still cut the poverty rate in half in ten years and end it in thirty years if we as a nation choose to do so. This, too, is something good that can come of this,especially in the middle of this economic crisis. And since everyone's talking about Sarah Palin and moose these days, here's why, "Because grief unites us/like the locked antlers of moose/who die on their knees in pairs."
"Remember us." Who will now?
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This makes me sad. I have always admired John Edwards and what he does or did in his private life is his own business. I don't condone it but we all make mistakes, we are all flawed, and were are entitled to a little privacy especially if our children are involved.
What I can never forgive Mr. Edwards for is the dangerous place he almost took us. I do not want to imagine where we would be if he had been chosen as the nominee of our party. Our cause would have been completely derailed all because of John Edwards' cowardice and lies. I hope his career is not over, but every time I think of what would have happened had he been chosen, I shudder.
It would have been pretty difficult for the GOP to go really hard on him because of adultery. Most GOP candidates have had their scandals and most were much worse than John Edwards' affair
John Edwards has tainted the poverty issue, like Bill and Hillary Clinton tainted healthcare reform by their bad behavior and bungling. John Edwards' deception and seamy double-life does matter; it's a reflection on who he is, and he's dishonorable.
I supported Edwards' run for presidency in 2004, but I couldn't do it this time. Maybe it was seeing him give the same canned speech, in the too-neat jeans, knowing his trial-lawyer background and feeling his pitch was not quite genuine. Something did not ring true. Regardless, a discussion of the chronically poor now will take a back seat to concerns of the newly impoverished middle class. As foreclosures and job losses snowball, too many will make unwilling migrations from their prefab McMansions and tract homes to camping in the livingrooms of friends and relatives, then to their cars, and shelters. Lehman will be bailed out, but not the folks down the street.
I am sad for the Edwards, but they made their decision to commit political suicide together, and I don't see how mulling over the remains of his campaign platform benefits us in the current environment. It's up to the Edwards to run the salvage operation and make good with the American public, but that seems unlikely, unless and until the poor child's parentage is properly settled. John Edwards should be treated as a political writedown. The country's in trouble. We need to move on.
So the Americans should not have universal health care because Bill Clinton had an affair and the poor should stay poor because John Edwards is rich trial lawyer, has nice jeans and had an short affair?
gba - ... had a short affair? - I don't think so. According to Rielle's friend it started in February 2006, Rielle was hired in July 2006 to videography & travel with Edwards. He obviously wanted his mistress at arms length. The affair stopped and was rekindled several times in early 2007 when she became pregnant (Johnny's baby btw). He has seen her 3 times since the baby was born - March 20; June 18 and July 21 (which is when he got caught by the National Enquirer).
Sorry Wendy, but continuing to try and justify John Edwards's LIES, even at THIS late date, will not help you heal.
Flawed is one thing, we all are. Lying is something everyone does to varying degrees.
THE ISSUE HERE is the MAGNITUDE of the lies and the deception.
This is a man who wanted to RUN OUR NATION, but couldn't be man enough to honor his dying wife, so he has an affair. Who couldn't be man enough to admit to it, EVEN WHEN CONFRONTED BY THE FACTS! He not only lied, he CONTINUES to lie to THIS VERY MOMENT!!!
NO! No "forgiveness" for a weak failing when the sinner refuses to admit to the sin!
He could not be elected trash man in my book. THEY have more honor.
The only SAD part about this, is how you feel the need to somehow defend your naivite, by showing support still...
You're welcome to your illusions, but don't try putting a pretty doily over this mess with some "do it for the BABY," deflection away from the LIES...The unmitigated, unrepentant, UNCEASING lies.
John Edwards is NOT man enough to lead anything. So sorry he FOOLED so many for so long, but for goodness sakes, don't you think it's time you take off the blinders, admit you were used, and move on? You're like the abused wife who excuses the bruises and broken bones with the excuse of, "But he's really a good man at heart..."
If he had not given up his campaing in January he would have pressed to tell the truth as Obama had to tell about his relationship to Rezko in late January
Considering the fact that the gops are running a man who dumped his first wife when she became sick and less attractive for a younger, richer woman and a woman who supports abstinence only but has a 17-year-old unwed pregnant daughter, who are you supporting? Can you imagine how much lying went on in Cain's and Palin's households about these events. I presume you cannot possiblyl be voting for Cain, since his affair with Cindy caused far more damage to his family than did John Edwards' affair.
Well, I think we the people are to blame for the silence, as we expect politicians to be holy men as well as good advocates, crafters of policy, leaders etc. We want the perfect package, and if someone falls short, we abandon them. Face it, many, many politicians cheat on their wives, many men in general do. Does that make it okay? No, but if we keep holding them to this standard, we will keep losing good leaders. And what really puzzles me, why is infidelity seen as a career ender for John E, but McCain is rolling on to the presidency, even though he cheated on his 1st wife. What's the difference? Time--or is it the internet/24 hour news channels? In any case, it would be easier for us to change our expectations than to try and change basic human nature.
It's simple: we expect "our" politicians to be saints (just look at the superlatives heaped on Obama... some of them deserved, many of them not), whereas the Republicans don't seem to care about corruption unless it involves homosexuality.
Weird, but true.
I'm embarrassed for our society that what he did can so easily be convoluted into hysteria. I'm embarrassed that the progressive left are the most brutal of all-that's why we lose because we so quickly turn on our own.
It's amazing that The National Enquirer got weeks of mileage out of reporting the affair of a man who was no longer running for anything or who did not hold elected office, but when the same magazine reports about the children of the gop Vice Presidential nominee running amok, which definitely reflects about Palin's ability to manage the country since she can't manage her own family, it passes without a ripple. Strange country indeed. No wonder we have lost our superpower status and continue to decline.
Thanks for this, Wendy. I too am bereft at this guy throwing away his future with the govt.
But it must have been awful to be a staffer, close to him. Somehow I don't buy the Elizabeth knew way back when she was helping him run. Think how hard this must be for her.
Republican men cheat too -- they just do it with discreet women. Those women also have something to lose by going public.
Will we find out Rielle Hunter was the National Enquirer's source? Or her friend, Pigeon?
I still hope John Edwards can get back into public life in some way. He needs to get that paternity test, even if it means swiping a sippy cup from the kid while mama isn't looking. It can be done with saliva or hair, John surely has checked this out. Maybe he is not so sure he isn't the father, and doesn't want proof.
WHAT exactly was the point in bringing this up?
The point was that although the MAN was flawed, the QUEST to end poverty was not - and shouldn't be abandoned, altho she fears it will be.
I understand her grief - I was an Edwards supporter - then I supported nobody - then I supported Hillary - now I support Obama.
It's a long, strange trip we've all been on.
I could care less who sleeps with whom. I care a great deal about my Constitution being compromised. as far as I can see, McCain/Palin are in step with the current administration in continuing the carnage.
"When I was a child I spoke as a child I understood as a child I thought as a child; but when I became [an adult] I put away childish things."
The Republicans have worked together with the richest people in the world to loot our country, pillage, steal our assets, destroy our infrastructure, betray our people at a level that must be treason. They have allowed the leaders of the major financial institutions in this country to charge citizens 25% interest on loans, to increase the costs of healthcare to the point that many simply die because they can't afford it; they have allowed the schools, roads, water, sanitation, all public systems to deteriorate; they have allowed and encouraged the wealthiest to throw Americans out of work, loot their businesses, set up phony off-shore P.O. boxes and phony private charities to avoid paying taxes to break our country. They have started wars against an entire region that could go on for decades.
John Edwards had sex with someone who wasn't his wife. A lady who got pregnant by a rich man and, just like winning the lottery, will now get lots of money.
John Edwards' sex life is nobody's business except his wife and family. Not ours, not somebody who worked on his campaign. Not the voters. It's personal.
Instead of worrying about Democrats' sex lives, maybe we should worry about the Republicans who are concluding their destruction of our entire country, our future, our lives.
Oh please. It was Obama advisor Jim Johnson who ran Fannie Mae into the ground and took a huge payout from it. Bush has been wanting to reform it for years, but Fannie and Freddie spent fortunes on lobbyists and donations to primarily Dem senators (Obama and Biden are near the top of the list) to stave off increased oversight. Both parties screwed up, but the Dems were getting more donations and fighting harder to screen FM-FM from scrutiny than the Repubs were.
The whole philosophy of the Republican party is that left on their own, the market will self regulate. for as long as I have been alive the Republican party has stood for DEREGULATION. what planet are you from?
Well said, but I can't forgive him, or Clinton, or Spitzer. I learned this lesson early. I worked for the Gary Hart campaign the year I turned 18. Don't tell me those three men never saw the writing on the wall. They knew the game. They broke the rules. Each of them were shown up to be macho, self-centered risk takers. We do not need people like that in positions of power. They betrayed not only their families but every last one of us who believed in them and all the causes they stood for. Who will speak for the poor now? Indeed. And yes, it's Edward's fault that America's poor don't have a nontoxic advocate anymore.
As for Hunter, she will continue to be an object of the paparazzi if she courts them, which she probably will. No one will even remember her name five years from now unless she keeps this story alive looking for cash.
Thank you for this beautiful and poignant column... you are so right, we've lost so much, and no one seems willing to pick up where John left off. I, too, am sorry for your loss... I know what it's like to pour your life into something and have it crash around you.
Dear Wendy,
The Edwards "scandal" as you call it was only a mere skirmish.
The battle is yet to come. John and Elizabeth Edwards both know this, and
they will be ready. Will you? Now, is the time to fortify, pray and get ready for
to quote John Edwards "the fight of our lives."
It killed another chunk of whatever idealism and hope is left in me to find out the guy from my own county here in North Carolina, the guy the Republicans said was a lying hypocrite, turned out to be exactly what they said he was. I defended him right up to the minute he admitted the affair. The feeling that I got when I heard his confession gives me some idea of what Wile E Coyote must feel like when he chases the Roadrunner off the cliff and finds himself hanging in midair, feet still churning.
John Edwards is a private citizen. He could not be elected dog-catcher now. Why rehash this? He is flawed, just like Vitter, Craig, Clinton and all the others who live a lie and cheat, one way or another. His wife, for whatever reasons, was complicit in deceiving all of us, his supporters. I wish them well, but would never trust either of them again. Buh-bye, Mr. and Mrs. Edwards.
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