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Wendy Litner
Wendy Litner is a lawyer-turned-writer who elevates anxiety to an art form. You can read more of her musings at her blog, An infertility sufferer, Wendy has written and created a web series, promoting infertility narratives. Check it out on Twitter @howtobuyababy

Entries by Wendy Litner

Letting Go of Biological Motherhood (National Infertility Awareness Week April 24-30)

(1) Comments | Posted April 24, 2016 | 6:17 PM

I take my dog, Diego, for a walk over my lunch break hoping some fresh air will do me good. I'm in my new uniform: torn Joe Fresh sweatpants shoved into muddy Tretorn boots, headphones crammed in my ears. A little boy and his mother walk towards us and as...

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IVF Is Even Harder Than I Thought

(0) Comments | Posted March 11, 2016 | 3:21 PM

I arrive at the fertility clinic just before 7:00 a.m. for the Running of the Infertiles: a stampede of pre-work day women running from the elevator to the clinic to sign up on clipboards for their daily blood test, ultrasound and meeting with the doctor.

I move in the opposite...

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I'm Realizing I May Never Get To Be A Mother

(39) Comments | Posted March 11, 2016 | 10:11 AM

When I first started writing about infertility, wonderful women from across the globe reached out to tell me about their long roads to motherhood. Many had gone through 3, 4, 5, 6, rounds of fertility treatments and I thought: "How awful for them! I'm planning on having this work the...

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I Don't Know How to Make Peace With My Infertility

(22) Comments | Posted November 13, 2015 | 12:11 PM

I press the button on my phone, accidentally prompting Siri to life.

"What can I help you with?" she asks.

I have just hung up with the fertility clinic, advising me this latest round of fertility treatments has failed. All of them have always failed. I feel desperate and...

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Being a Single Father Is Hard at Any Age

(1) Comments | Posted June 18, 2015 | 11:57 AM

Every single year, I get a Valentine from my father. He sends out three now: one to me and one to each of my two nieces, his granddaughters, who are eight and eleven. When I was their age, I would wake up the morning of February 14th to a red...

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Putting the 'I' in Infertility

(0) Comments | Posted January 28, 2015 | 10:56 AM

Fertility clinics are pregnant with contradictions. The waiting room is full of the saddest looking 30-something women you have ever seen, sitting in front of walls plastered with pictures of precious little babies. I myself stare longingly at the sea of tiny hands and tiny feet (though not the ones...

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What a Woman Trying to Get Pregnant Is Thinking

(2) Comments | Posted September 25, 2014 | 5:19 PM

It is a universal truth that when you are trying to get pregnant everyone but you is pregnant. Men are pregnant. The elderly are pregnant. Woman with IUDs are pregnant. Britney Spears is pregnant with Miley Cyrus' baby. Everyone in the world, but you, is pregnant. So says the pregnancy...

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French Invasion: The Impossibility of Being Impossibly French

(0) Comments | Posted September 23, 2013 | 12:44 PM

At 16, I had the privilege of spending the summer in the South of France as an exchange student where I fell hopelessly in love with pebble beaches, pain au chocolate and French women. I would watch these women, running to catch a bus or buying groceries at the Carrefour,...

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I Still Need My Mom

(68) Comments | Posted May 2, 2013 | 10:35 AM

Brandy, our family dog, always had very little sense of decorum. Regardless of whether or not we were entertaining, she always wanted to raise her leg over her head and lick herself, right there on the living room couch. Guests would awkwardly sip their drinks, all of us pretending not...

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What You Should Never to Say to a Non-Mother of Childbearing Age

(18) Comments | Posted February 5, 2013 | 5:03 PM

Since turning 30, with every passing menstrual cycle, I wonder if I have dropped my last viable egg. This worry, though, that I have shed my procreative capability is like light spotting compared to the heavy flow of fear I have for mothers. Mothers terrify me. Amy Shearn...

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Stop Inviting Me to Your Showers

(471) Comments | Posted September 26, 2012 | 1:49 AM

There is no delicate way to put this so I am just going to say it: stop inviting me to your showers. Please. I am delighted about your forthcoming nuptials, thrilled to be in attendance at your special day. Need I, though, spend a precious Sunday afternoon rummaging through my...

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My Longest Relationship...Is With My Anti-Depressants

(16) Comments | Posted June 28, 2012 | 1:10 PM

It occurred to me, recently, that I can't remember when I first started anti-depressants. I can list all the ones I've tried, the sweat-inducing switches I have made to new generations of drugs that promised to make me even less depressed than I was before while still preserving my desire...

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Getting Older Without My Mother

(20) Comments | Posted May 3, 2012 | 9:37 AM

At my first doctor's appointment after my mother died, almost eight years ago now, the doctor thought it was important that we talk about grief. I sat on the examining table, hands wedged under my thighs, counting the number of Rockwell paintings in the room. I was twenty-three then, confused...

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I'm a Jew Who Loves Christmas

(25) Comments | Posted December 16, 2011 | 10:31 AM

Unlike much of the population, I love Christmas music. At the grocery store, I hear fellow shoppers groan "already?" to the first sounds of holiday tunes. But for me, radio stations can't start playing them early enough. I like the good ones, like Ertha Kitt's "Santa Baby," and Bruce Springsteen's...

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How Important Is Romance?

(54) Comments | Posted September 8, 2011 | 6:00 PM

"Lost in Translation" was on the other night, and it always draws me in, no matter what I am doing. I hold my breath when Bill Murray goes back to Scarlett and holds her so tenderly, cupping her head to his chest as he brushes her hair aside and whispers...

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What to Do About Somalia When There is Nothing You Can Do

(0) Comments | Posted August 19, 2011 | 12:55 PM

I have no voyeuristic tendencies, and while I watch my share of trashy, reality television shows ("Love in the Wild," anyone?) I have yet to sit through an entire episode of "Big Brother." I just find it too unsettling to watch people living their day-to-day lives. Not one to like...

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Talking About Sex Makes Me Uncomfortable

(5) Comments | Posted July 8, 2011 | 11:18 AM

My husband was away for the weekend so one of my friends kindly invited me for dinner Friday night, knowing that I subsist on nothing but cereal if I am left to eat alone. My friend is like the Baby Whisperer and as long as I've known her she has...

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My Search for Happiness with Feng Shui

(5) Comments | Posted June 22, 2011 | 6:35 PM

I just finished a book in which the 30-something heroine was a feng shui consultant. She would go to people's homes and rearrange their furniture to bring peace and harmony to their lives. She was "living" proof: Having hung a picture here and lit a candle there in her own...

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Dealing with Grief on Mother's Day

(5) Comments | Posted May 8, 2011 | 1:45 PM

I was at a ceremony for my husband's late grandmother last week and I always feel compelled to visit my mother's grave whenever I'm at the cemetery. We are really not a "visit the grave" kind of family. As my grandmother used to say "dead is dead." I confirmed this...

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Baby, Baby, Baby, No? Getting To The Bottom Of Motherhood Anxiety

(11) Comments | Posted April 17, 2011 | 11:59 AM

I don't think I'm ready to have a baby, because I only want to be pregnant on the weekend. On Saturdays, I long for that expectant glow, that little bump in the belly. But come Monday morning, when I'm faced with the miserable prospect of the work week ahead, I...

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