Despite the fact that the N.C. state constitution already defines marriage as between a man and a woman, conservative activists and politicians just can't leave the issue alone. They're proposing a 2012 state constitutional amendment that would further discriminate against LGBT residents, potentially even outlawing civil unions. As a gay man in a 17-year relationship, that affects me. Supporters of the amendment obviously fear me and my partner so much that they want to deny us, and others like us, any legal rights whatsoever.
I take it personally because I like to think of myself as one of the good guys, someone who works hard, pays his taxes, stays out of trouble and tries to get along with others because everyone benefits in the end. Who wouldn't take it personally if your relationship was called "perverted" by local church leaders and politicians? They even claim that legally recognizing my relationship will cause their own marriages to collapse! In my more magnanimous moments, I have often thought that if only these conservatives knew me and my partner, they wouldn't say such things. But they don't know us and they don't care; they care only about imposing their political and religious agenda on everyone in North Carolina.
So yes, this is personal. When I hear state officials lumping me and my partner in with dangerous criminals, that's personal. And when I hear religious leaders with whom I have a personal connection screaming about my "perverted lifestyle" from their pulpits and over the airwaves, yes, it's personal. One of those religious leaders is Rev. Ron Baity, who heads up Return America, a local group spearheading the proposed amendment. His wife taught me off and on for 13 years at a Christian school in Winston-Salem, NC, where I attended school with Baity's children.
When I realized Baity was behind this effort, I thought I'd send him a friendly email. And yes, it was friendly! I simply said, hello, your wife taught me years ago and here's a link to a thoughtful essay on democracy and gay rights. No, I didn't expect him to suddenly see the light, but I thought mentioning his wife in the email would get his attention (I'm sure he gets lots of hate mail, after all). It certainly did -- and he instructed me to never, ever use his wife's name in an email again, and then he promptly called me "perverted." Nice to hear from you, too, Reverend!
I'm enough of a good guy to hope that Baity might realize that I had been under the godly care of his wife for 13 years and still turned out to be gay -- and well, might that be worth something? Am I still so dangerous? The Christian school I attended was small, and while there are a few other openly gay former students out there, I'm guessing most haven't emailed Baity or his wife about gay rights. Baity and others like him have made this fight over gay marriage personal -- and now, I'm doing the same by naming him and his organization and committing myself to speak out about this issue.
I'm fine with Baity preaching what he wants at his Berean Baptist Church, but his religious beliefs should not become state policy. I'm a person of faith, too, but I have no desire to discriminate and legislate against others because of my spiritual beliefs as Baity does. In the email I sent, I guess Baity felt it was too personal to mention his wife (even though I said nothing inappropriate). Did I hit too close to home? Did I sully his precious family with dirty politics? Maybe now he knows how I feel, and yes, now it's personal.
If you're a North Carolina resident, visit Equality NC to learn more and find out what you can do to support LGBT rights and protect your own relationship.
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One of the things I had admired about North Carolina when I lived there was they had never said anything about gay marriage while I was a resident, contrary to that "horrible" liberal place I'm from and am again resident - California. I'm sorry to hear that's changed and the bigot patrol, through the churches and Republican party in NC, is out in force with a Virginia style get out the vote effort.
I simply cannot believe how these people think it is appropriate to beat up people over and over again for no other reason than to drive the bigot vote. It's a sad day indeed when any major political party thinks it's appropriate to drive voter turnout by scapegoating minority populations.
Did we learn nothing from Germany in the 1930's?
Stuff like this is why I'm a firm believer that Churches and other religious organizations should be losing their tax-exempt status. If they want to be this involved in the political process then they should pay taxes like the rest of us.
If things don't change soon I'm getting out the passport of my other country and moving. I'm growing tired of living in a country where people feel enshrining discrimination into the constitution is appropriate. I'll go somewhere we're treated as the human beings we are.
You make a very good point on the tax-exemption issue. I'm ok with folks believing what they want and preaching what they want, but when you cozy up to politicians etc, that's playing with fire, I think.
The people behind this amendment here need to either 1) get educated or 2) be honest and come clean. This is a wedge issue designed to turn out Republican voters in 2012. Nothing more.
Movements are created by people who have had enough and won't take it anymore. It seems that this time its being led by gays and lesbians.
I apologize for the error.
They are mostly all weaklings and crooks --- bought and sold.
When people make comments like you do about never getting to know others, it is really yourself that you are talking about. I am not looking to discriminate but I don't see two gay men as married in the same way that I see a man and a woman married.
Many gay marriage supporters are as ignorant of their opponents as their opponents are of them. People love to demonize others.
After years of reading articles like this, I'm still waiting for a rational (non-religious) legal reason why two couples of the same gender should not be allowed to make a legal commitment (marriage) with each other. So far, I've heard that napkins can't be paper towels; and that mothers will want to marry their children if gays can marry. As ironclad as those arguments are, I don't think the younger generation is very convinced. Especially when most of them have friends or family members who are gay.
It'd be hilarious if it wasn't so predictable and pathetic.