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Wess Stafford

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How Our Words and Actions Change the Lives of Children

Posted: 01/23/2012 7:30 am

As the president and CEO of Compassion International, the world's largest Christian child development organization working to release children from poverty, I've noticed that with each child I encounter, there's power and opportunity to build up... or sadly, to tear down. A life can be literally launched with as little as a single word, an uplifting comment, a well-timed hug, a tender prayer, a compliment, the holding of a frightened hand, or the gentle wiping of a tear -- all in just a minute.

So who was it for you? What did they say? What did they do? Who hurt you so profoundly that you vowed never to make anyone feel the way they made you feel? Who believed in you before you believed in yourself?

For me, it was my father that first believed in me. He changed my life in one moment, one sentence, at the age of 14. My family had just arrived from Africa -- the only home I had ever known -- to the United States. While in Africa, I lost nearly half of my village friends to measles, malaria, smallpox, hunger, or snakebite. I had cried myself to sleep hundreds of nights after we buried my childhood buddies.

Now stepping off the gangplank, I was a lost soul in this new and foreign place. I had been torn from a gentle African village to step a month later into the biggest, most intimidating metropolis known to humanity. I was shell-shocked.

A man was driving us to a church service one of those first days. My father was in the passenger seat, and I sat alone in the back. The driver glanced my way and said the familiar words, "So, Wesley, what do you want to be when you grow up?"

After a long, awkward pause, my father came to my rescue. "I've been watching Wesley for a long time," he said. "He has seen a lot of pain and a lot of suffering. He has a big heart... he loves helping people who are hurting."

I remember thinking, Really? Is that who I am? Is that what matters most to me? That was the end of the conversation, but not the end of the thought. In fact, it was the beginning for me. Now in this minute, the tapestry of my life got turned over. The knots and tangles from the backside of the needlework fell into a pattern that suddenly made sense. I was launched!

Every life option now found meaning and purpose as it was put to the test of "How does it help people? If it doesn't, then is it even worth doing?"

Eventually, I found the ministry of Compassion International, where I could pour all my passion into my calling, my purpose, my mission. My father's words echoed through the corridors of my life from that minute forward. To this day, I wear my father's wedding ring. It prompts me to remember my calling and ask myself, "What can I do in this moment to help people around me, around the world?" Trust me, moments matter -- for a lifetime.

These pivotal moments come seldom in life. If you are blessed enough to live out your full "threescore and ten years," you will have been given, from birth to death, the gift of nearly 37 million minutes. Most rush by in a blur as the years flow. But some, maybe just a handful, stand out like beacons in the darkness, forever etched in your memory, defining who you are and what you do.

So how do you begin to speak powerfully into the lives of your children? How about the children you encounter in your community, at church or elsewhere?

The first step on the journey is to pause and remember the "just a minute" moments of our own lives. Before eagerly reaching out to others, you may need to start by reaching back into yourself. You cannot pass on what you have not received. Pick one that stands out -- why did it matter? How were you affected by it? Has it made you a better person? Or has it wounded you deeply?

For joyous memories, give thanks -- both to the Lord for orchestrating the moment and to the person who launched your life. For excruciating memories, forgive the one that hurt you. Once you have come to grips with your own memories, you are ready to reach out to the children God brings into your life. You have been equipped with your own childhood journey, either building on the positive or overcoming the negative, good or bad, tobless any child God places before you.

You don't need another day of training. You, having been a child yourself, know all you need to know. You know deep in your heart what is needed. Your mission begins with the very next child you encounter. Say hello, give a high five, a hug or say encouraging words. What you do doesn't have to be profound, just loving. It doesn't have to last a lifetime -- but it might.

Wess Stafford is president and CEO of Compassion International and author of 'Just a Minute.'

 
As the president and CEO of Compassion International, the world's largest Christian child development organization working to release children from poverty, I've noticed that with each child I encount...
As the president and CEO of Compassion International, the world's largest Christian child development organization working to release children from poverty, I've noticed that with each child I encount...
 
 
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WoolyBumblebee
Creator of TruthAndOblivion.com
01:22 AM on 01/25/2012
Great. Another organization aimed at lying to children and corrupting their little minds with religious twaddle. Want to help kids? Fight for proper education, teach critical thinking, offer them the proper tools they need to expand their little minds, and leave religion OUT of their lives.
01:10 PM on 01/25/2012
I wonder why is there so much hostility to Religion?

God is Love. Can anyone be hostile to love? sounds insane.
That's what is happening here!
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WoolyBumblebee
Creator of TruthAndOblivion.com
03:49 PM on 01/25/2012
God is not love. Your God does not exist.
01:23 PM on 01/24/2012
Interesting, I was adopted and people would always tell me how special I was but it didn't help or encourage me to become better , taking the time to listen to what I expected out of life and aiding me in my (journey)goals would have helped and encouraged me!Saying (rather reciting )I was special ,only made me feel excluded!Which I already felt!
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rsttho557949
What is Job's Crucible?
05:06 PM on 01/23/2012
There is this myth that poverty is synonymous with issues in a child , the growing child or adult. This is simply not true. I grew up poor by any standard of measure and I came out pretty good and didn't have some "save the world" organization helping me. Some will say that its "poverty" that explains so much violence and turmoil in inner city areas of America's major cities. It is a contributor but not the problem. What children need is POSTIVE FEEDBACK from the parents that gave birth to them. Does one realize that 30% of children less than 10 years old attempt suicide? The root cause can be traced back to the parents and specifically the father. The words that the father uses towards his children will make or break a child foe the rest of his life. His attitude towards his children writes the life script for them...not poverty. What saved my family from the heartache of a child taking his life or using drugs or running with gangs was that my father introduced us to Jesus at a very early age and got us in the habit of church going He also demanded that we do well in school and was interested in our activities and the types of people we had as friends. Looking back, what he did do was always expect good things from us and always built up our self esteem.He thought before he spoke and used his words carefully.
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Claude Hosch
A single bracelet does not jingle
04:29 PM on 01/23/2012
Our affect on hildren transcend all of life. I coached a little league basketball team that was convinced they could not win. 9 & 10 yrs old, and already set up for failure. I was a tough job convincing them it was the old coach and not them. I had to convince them that 'we' could win. They learned to believe in themselves, in winning, having fun, and dreaming big. In two years they became champions.
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thebearclaw007
Is your conscience functioning properly?
03:03 PM on 01/23/2012
He offers us a very important lesson. Thank you.
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Dragosurfer
I surf, therefore I am…..
02:47 PM on 01/23/2012
There is more than one root cause for child poverty, depending on which part of the world you are in. One major root causes is the fact that the people have zero access to and/or knowledge of contraception. And organizations like Compassion International do nothing at all to address this.

The Christian and Islamic anti-birth control and anti-family planning approach to this problem does nothing to address the root cause and in fact, ensures that the cycle of poverty continues.
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methodman
02:29 PM on 01/23/2012
The other problem is that the Christian movement has produced materials that use itsy bitsy teenie weenie one syllable words that require an enormous amount of effort to realize. Like plan and then out of the same mouth they eschew effort. As well God is a parts and plural words but they don't ever put that claim on any of their points. So I use God for 1 syllable words, Elohim for 2 syllable words trinity for 3 syllable words and Jehovah for 4 syllable words. If nothing else at least I develop an enlightening vocabulary. Also Believe as non-standard pseudo code is equivalent to a Print statement. They also don't employ parts fail to address their own plural words and are offended by those of us that demand sense from our efforts.
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methodman
02:14 PM on 01/23/2012
I wouldn't call changing one's origin. In the sense of a recasting light tearing down. This fatalistic language promoted by the supposed righteous blocks theme and variations and partial erasures. Lots of art is made by deliberately choosing what to erase. It is not being sinful to recast important things upon a vista of a different transparency.
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Debra Martinez
Walk in the name of Jehovah and he will deliver U
01:59 PM on 01/23/2012
What a touching article! My calling came about 7 years ago! I am going to be a minister of True God!
I am also a owner of a Childcare Center ! I advocate for children in Texas! I received 2 letter from the President of the United Stated!! The only thing that I learned from all of my hard works, is that we need to help our young children not just spiritually but physically, mentally ..
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WoolyBumblebee
Creator of TruthAndOblivion.com
01:26 AM on 01/25/2012
And perhaps a better education so kids will learn to write correctly and not end every sentence with a punctuation mark.
09:57 AM on 01/28/2012
All correct sentences end in punctuation; what you are referring to are exclamation marks. And yes, I learned that from Christian school. ;)
12:24 PM on 01/23/2012
Wonderful story!

Yes, a few encouraging words into a child's life may send them in a good direction. I often make it a point to tell kids how much Christ Jesus loves them and that He has wonderful things in s tore for their lives. And that He will never forget them and never leave them no matter how rough life may get.


.
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WoolyBumblebee
Creator of TruthAndOblivion.com
01:27 AM on 01/25/2012
So you lie to them. Nice.
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Sistagirl Young
11:09 AM on 01/23/2012
"But JESUS said, Suffer little children, and forbid them not, to come unto me: for of such is the Kingdom of Heaven" Matthew 19: 14. Life.
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Lindsay Blogs
Social Media Junkie and Blogger
09:56 AM on 01/23/2012
Dr. Stafford, reading your book changed the way I look at children. It changed the way I parent and it changed the way I see Compassion International and my own sponsored child through your organization. Every parent should read your book - even if they are not Christian or religious in any way. Thank you!
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Debra Martinez
Walk in the name of Jehovah and he will deliver U
01:03 PM on 01/23/2012
Lindsay, All children are a gift to God , is a song that I put my heart to It makes me closer to seraching for God! And it goes like this!
I


Its not easy
trying to understand
how this world can be so cold
stealing the souls of man
cloudy skies raindown on all your dreams
you wristlle with the fear and doubt
sometimes itsa hard , but uou got to believe.

Chourse
Threres a better place
Where I found a way
And every tear he wipe away
darkness will be gone
But we shall be strong
hold on to your faith , there will come oneday!

wars are racing lives are scattered
innocient is lost and hopes are shattered
all are forgotten
children are forsaken
in this world were living in
is ther anything sacred

Chourse

Just as God the Almighty taught
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09:30 AM on 01/23/2012
The best gift that can be given to a child is to shun religious brainwashing and encourage them to think for themselves. They can then find their way through a challenging world without having to filter everything through a lens of ancient nonsense.
02:24 PM on 01/23/2012
True Religion does not exclude thinking for oneself!

This challenging world even more then ever before needs the Total truth of being human: Why do I exist? where did I come from? where am I going ?

These are perennial questions that are not only ancient but also relevant .
To leave children in the dark is surely worse than nonsense
But common sense is uncommon!
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09:10 AM on 01/24/2012
Why do I exist? where did I come from? where am I going ?

These are questions for which there is no answer. Making up BS answers just to have an answer helps no one, certainly not children.
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charleyvldm9
He thinks outside the box.
09:23 AM on 01/23/2012
Most of today's parents are untrained and inexperienced in child rearing,so what do you expect will happen with today's kids?
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Debra Martinez
Walk in the name of Jehovah and he will deliver U
02:01 PM on 01/23/2012
There will be less educated children because famillies are torn apart with daily needs!!
02:29 PM on 01/23/2012
Every parent in the world is inexperienced in child rearing...until they do it.
09:10 AM on 01/23/2012
Perhaps Stafford will explain why so-called "faith-based" groups for years have been successful in blocking family planning services to poor people around the world, and have helped prop up some of the most vile, violent, corrupt dictators around the world. The religious right's activities in Central Africa and Central America are good examples, with certain Bible-thumping U.S. politicians having active roles in ensuring that the corrupt dictators continue to have the support of American taxpayers. Gushing about how "compassionate" religious folks drop off a little bread and medicine here and there conceals a much darker -- and much more political -- agenda.