11/20/2010 04:51 pm ET Updated May 25, 2011

The Tim Tebow Story Everyone Is Waiting for

An intoxicated Tim Tebow spotted in a Denver bar with well-proportioned, half-naked floozies draped all over him. Isn't that the type of story that everyone is waiting for the media to break about Tim Tebow?

Sure he hasn't even started a game yet. But when he does it won't be much of a revelation to anyone.

Even though Kyle Orton is having a pretty stellar season (he's 2nd in the NFL in passing yards for peet's sake!), the consensus is that he is just keeping the QB seat warm until Superman is ready to take the reigns.

Tebow will start it's just a matter of time. I would bet Orton's mangy neckbeard on it. It won't be shocking news to anyone when it finally happens.

The real story to be had about Tim Tebow is when will he falter morally. Right now that's every Denver journalist's "white whale." When will the too good to be true, "super-Christian" fall from grace?

Don't worry he will. That's as inevitable as Lil' Wayne going back to prison.

The ubiquitous media will eventually catch him refusing to purchase Caramel DeLites from a Girl Scout or improperly disposing of the his leftover Muscle Milk in a drain that leads to a river.

They might even get a picture of him doing something scandalous like kissing a girl. (*GASSSSSSPPPPPP*)

Should it really be news when we finally have evidence that Tim Tebow is indeed human? When we have proof, at long last, that he doesn't poop diamonds.

I wake up every morning expecting to see documentation of Tebow in a compromising situation on sport's journalisms best impression of TMZ, They make a living incriminating major sports figures. Just ask Kyle Orton. I bet they have a photographer devoted to Tebow full-time.

I would even wager that more than a few local journalists have the skeleton of a Tebow moral failure story already written and are just waiting to plug in the specifics. Think I am crazy?

This really happens in the journalism world, usually with obituaries, but it occasionally happens with other "inevitable" stories as well.

Personally, I've already written obituaries for both Larry King and Lindsey Lohan. I just can't seem to get either of them to die. I guess in Larry King's case it's more of a problem of getting CNN to acknowledge that he is actually dead but you get the idea.

I know you are thinking that I must have one killer Tebow man-crush to go to bat for him like this. On the contrary, I curse him almost weekly for defeating my beloved Oklahoma Sooners in the BCS National Championship Game a couple of years ago. I still see his massive thighs running rough shot through the OU defensive line in my nightmares.

Or maybe you think that I must be attempting to covertly push Christian or Southern culture on Colorado by lobbying for Tebow.

Just to put your mind at ease let it be known that I don't watch NASCAR, I don't hand out pocket-sized Gideon Bibles, I don't drink sweet tea, and I really like living in a city that is religiously and culturally diverse. I could care less what Tim's personal preferences are. He could sacrifice stray cats on a pagan altar and then deep-fry them for all I care.

The point is that he is a role model without an attitude or a lot of baggage and I like that.

He's a modern day white knight. I can enjoy watching kids scamper around in number 15 jerseys without fear that they will be crushed when they find out what their hero does off the field. Is that too utopian of me?

I know that he's going to fail eventually in some capacity. He's human after all. When Tebow finally does make a mistake, do me a favor. Cut Tebow some slack. He's not Jesus. He's just doing his best to imitate him.