I had committed to doing this and I wasn't going to back down. But why was I dreading it so much? I had committed to taping a one hour radio show wearing a 120-pound weight vest. I wanted to describe firsthand what I was experiencing as far as the limitations that come with added weight. I had worn the vest before to film a segment doing some exercises with my trainer Kaj Gruening, so why was I dreading this so much now?
As I was preparing to interview the legendary Richard Simmons for my radio show, I looked at some interviews he did with Dr. Oz and in one of the interviews he said something that just totally "clicked"; it brought tears to my eyes as it did to him. He said that he learned to keep the weight off because he did not want to experience that feeling of inferiority that he felt when he was overweight. That's it! That was exactly why I was so apprehensive about wearing the weight vest! I too felt vulnerable and exposed when I was obese, and I didn't want to be there again, even if only for an hour. Even though this was all in my subconscious, I dreaded putting the vest on again because it brought me back there! It made me fear that I could fail again.
Those of us who have overcome our battle with weight always tuck away in the back of our minds the fear that it can happen again. It keeps us in check, but it is ever-present. Learning to live with the fear of failure and to control it is essential to maintaining success. However, fear is not what you have to thrive on, otherwise it will eventually wear you down. Scare people into driving better by showing them pictures of gory car wrecks and that will only work briefly. Change their whole state of thinking and it will last for good.
The lesson that I learned from this vest is that no one needs to feel inferior because of his or her weight. The lack of self-esteem that people experience when overweight is key to understanding how to treat them. This needs to be understood by weight loss providers, trainers and physicians that help these people to lose weight. Feelings of failure and guilt are closely tied to this lack of self-esteem and unless we change that negative into a positive, those feelings will sabotage and haunt us even after we've lost the weight.
Now, I don't mean that we need to settle for minimal effort for fear of harming someone's self esteem. On the contrary, encouraging and even expecting appropriate effort is necessary. But by "pushing" someone instead of encouraging them we set them up for failure. As we belittle them, we erode their self- confidence. The one characteristic that all permanent weight loss graduates have in common is that they regained their self-confidence and self-esteem. This should be protected at all costs.
Putting on that vest made me feel vulnerable, exposed, inferior, slow, a failure... none of the things I really am or was, even while I was obese, but it made me feel like that anyway. I know what carrying that weight can do to others, and now I know how important it is to recognize it in those that I am helping through this journey.
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1-don't eat processed food with additives
2-don't drink fruit juices, colas and drinks with additives
3-eat foods you cook at home
4-eat moderate amounts
5-never eat high fructose corn syrup products
6-drink lots of water, without floride
No one else can lose weight for you, no diet guru, books, parent, pills There is no way but the hard way, excercise and healthy food for the rest of your life ...
I do get what the OP is talking about. Despite what nutty guru's say, it is something we must always be mindful of. We find our personal motivations for keeping it off. Whatever it takes to make it happen, do it.
Permanent and healthy weight loss is a result of high self-esteem rather than high self esteem a product of weight loss. If you try to earn self-esteem with weight loss, you create the conditions for a lifetime of fear, high risk of regain, and "conditional high self-esteem" which is really low self esteem.
I lost 140 pounds after 25 years of obesity and weight loss failure, losing and regaining several times before I got it right. I've maintained my ideal body weight pretty easily for the last 25 years, no fear, and no more belief in what I had believed was inferior about me. I gave that up, and that was a big part of the solution.
Secure permanent weight loss is the result of a holistic recovery from obesity, and it sounds like you are not finished yet.
William Anderson, LMHC
Author of 'The Anderson Method - Secrets of Permanent Weight Loss'
www.TheAndersonMethod.com
This is why I designed and published Scaleless Dieting, available on Amazon. I was obese and depressed. I tried the "best-sellers" and had poor results. Scaleless Dieting addresses all of the issues limiting success with health improvement and is 100% effective. 8 years later, I have had no weight rebounding or any stress in maintaining this fantastic program. I encourage every obese person to check this system out, save your life just like I saved mine.