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Will Durst
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In his guise as mild mannered political comic and former radio talk show host, Will Durst is the undisputed heavyweight champion of the All-American sport of full body contact bi-partisan bashing. Sworn enemy to all tyrants, foreign and domestic, he abides by the motto: “You can’t make stuff up like this.” A dedicated acolyte in the elusive search for the perfect cheeseburger, Durst lives in San Francisco with his wife Debi, who, alas, is much funnier than he.

Entries by Will Durst

Gorilla Love

(0) Comments | Posted June 21, 2016 | 2:48 PM

Hearty congratulations to the conservatives for a seamless transition from party-wide disgust to near unanimous endorsement of a gorilla as their presidential nominee. Considering the tortuous undulations required, this metamorphosis seems to have occurred with shockingly few chiropractic adjustments.

Having indulged in the kind of convoluted contortions that would...

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Angriest Birds

(0) Comments | Posted June 1, 2016 | 11:03 PM

Arrrggh! Grrrrr! The sound of many teeth gnashing. Foot stamping. Fist pounding. Heavens shouting. The soundtrack of modern life. Folks are just plain angry. Furious. Indignant. Incensed. Irate. Enraged. Outraged. In a constant state of road rage, with or without the roads. Or 'roids.

Almost gotten to where if...

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We, Who Are About to Be Beaten With the Ugly Stick, Salute You

(1) Comments | Posted May 25, 2016 | 11:07 PM

Oh, dear. Not pretty. Yes. Already. The upcoming presidential campaign is ugly now and destined to ratchet up to epic uglier as soon as Bernie Sanders decides to bow out. Which is imminent. Not soon enough for Hillary Clinton, but not long.

The Vermont Senator has turned into that...

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Lucifer in the House

(1) Comments | Posted May 11, 2016 | 11:13 AM

One of the oddest moments in a presidential campaign filled brim-spillingly with them, is the sight of the Republican Party struggling to rally around its presumptive nominee, Donald J. Trump. Perhaps "rally" is too strong of a word. More of a depressed dawdle. A lackluster loiter. Melancholy mosey. Crematory crawl....

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Man for All Reasons

(0) Comments | Posted May 5, 2016 | 10:52 AM

As evidenced by his hair, Donald J. Trump is pretty much wrong all the time. Every time. About everything. Except when he isn't. One example is, should he become president, Mexico indeed will build a wall. To control our immigration. "Get me the hell out of here. Por favor?" Hell,...

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21st Annual Political Animal Awards

(0) Comments | Posted April 26, 2016 | 9:50 AM

A major silver lining in this cruelest month of April is a lull between show business awards galas: the lack of gold plated statuettes being flung about, mercifully allowing many Americans to stand upright for the first time in months. Won't be long, however, before we once again are forced...

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Trump's Mama Is So Fat

(0) Comments | Posted April 5, 2016 | 9:28 AM

How low can a presidential campaign go? In 2016, the answer to that question is find a snake belly and dig. Lower than the vertical zinc mines of Atlantis. This particular crew of candidates dived so deep in their race to the bottom, the plastic iPhone cases of staffers are...

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Kind of OK Tuesday

(0) Comments | Posted March 25, 2016 | 9:28 AM

It's become painfully obvious that the term "Super Tuesday" was coined for the quantity of elections contested, not the quality of participants involved. Otherwise, we'd be forced to change the name to Kind of Okay Tuesday. Or Is It Really Necessary to be This Loud Tuesday. The Not Overtly Horrible...

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Virgin Repair Kit

(0) Comments | Posted March 9, 2016 | 2:33 PM

This huge brouhaha between the FBI and Apple Inc. has escalated into a Battle Royale between the righteous and the wicked. And, as often happens, both sides are claiming to be on the side of the angels. With so many good guys in attendance, it's amazing that worldwide badness is...

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FAQ: SCOTUS

(0) Comments | Posted February 29, 2016 | 9:00 AM

FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS: SCALIA'S REPLACEMENT:

Q. Has the issue of Justice Antonin Scalia's replacement on the Supreme Court turned a mite political?

A. You could say that. You could also say that flight simulation wind -- tunnels are tough on combovers.

Q. How long after the first Italian...

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New Hampshire Is for Losers

(0) Comments | Posted February 22, 2016 | 6:41 AM

Once again New Hampshire has demonstrated it is as different from the rest of the country as the Himalayan Mountains are from Jack in the Box seasoned curly fries. Like green sand and aluminum crockpots. As Dorothy almost said after being whisked away by a tornado, "we're not in Iowa...

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Thin Wins

(0) Comments | Posted February 15, 2016 | 10:04 PM

The great state of Iowa has a history of cultivating its topsoil for a harvest of winners the rest of the country may enjoy. Glenn Miller. Buffalo Bill Cody. George Reeves. Herbert Hoover. James Tiberius Kirk. As a sidenote, this may be the first time in history the word "enjoy"...

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Hawkeyes and Granitoids

(0) Comments | Posted February 11, 2016 | 12:59 PM

And now the question that's been dancing on the lips of politically concerned citizens for decades. Who's the genius that chose Iowa and New Hampshire to be the first and most influential states in determining who becomes the next president? Probably the same guy who figured out how to bundle...

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New Yorkie Values

(0) Comments | Posted January 31, 2016 | 6:36 PM

To taunt his rival and sow seeds of evangelical doubt, Rafael Edward "Ted" Cruz informed Donald Trump that the rest of the country was concerned about his alarming New York values. Totally ignoring the greater danger of the real estate developer's aerodynamic coif toppling over and knocking innocent supporters unconscious...

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2016 Predictions

(0) Comments | Posted January 20, 2016 | 12:12 AM

At the beginning of a new year, cultures all over the world traditionally perform peculiar ceremonies meant to wipe the slate clean and start afresh. The Chinese hide knives to ward off danger. In Denmark, old dishes are thrown at front doors to symbolize the collection of new friends. Spanish...

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Candidate Holiday Traditions

(0) Comments | Posted January 4, 2016 | 11:00 PM

It's the most wonderful time of the year. And a large part of what makes it so goldarn fabulous is the festive array of idiosyncratic traditions each family imprints on their holiday gene map like a candy cane tattoo on the soft flesh behind your knee.

Every family has...

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Who Would Want This Job?

(4) Comments | Posted December 2, 2015 | 4:23 PM

It's like a train wreck. Fascinating, repellant, and loud: all at the same time. Talking about the American presidential sweepstakes. And, as ratings for the last few debates seem to indicate, very hard to look away. It was Winston Churchill who called our election process... "a circus wrapped in a...

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Red Meat vs. Creme Brulee

(0) Comments | Posted October 27, 2015 | 7:35 PM

If the disappointment of everyone expecting fireworks at the first Democratic debate exhibited itself as perspiration, we could declare the California drought over. A few soggy matches might have been lit but that was it. Heavy on the smoke: non-existent on the flame.

This initial gathering of liberal presidential...

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TP'ing the TPP

(0) Comments | Posted October 18, 2015 | 11:59 PM

Awfully fun to watch the different branches of government quiver like Aspen trees in a force 5 tornado arguing the pros and cons of the Trans Pacific Partnership trade pact. The TPP is either an environmental travesty designed to set the union movement back 100 years or the spine of...

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Greed Not Good

(1) Comments | Posted October 11, 2015 | 7:07 PM

Get this. And get it straight. Gordon Gekko was wrong. Greed is not good. Greed is bad. Greed eats away the core of society like a golden parasitic leech the size of Manitoba. Or Saskatchewan. One of those Provinces or Territories or Protectorates or whatever they use in Canada to...

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