George Bush Is a Junkie

05/25/2011 12:20 pm ET
  • Will Durst Political comic, former radio talk show host, syndicated columnist, author, motivational speaker

George Bush is morphing into a junkie before of our very eyes and nobody seems to care. He's a doper. I'm serious, people, look at him. Check out his next press conference. Not only is he crazy with the shakes, he's sporting suspicious stains on his pants. I'm not kidding, the President of the United States has twisted into a veto addict.

Didn't veto one bill for five and a half years. Not one. Then in the last fourteen months he succumbed to the siren call of the nation of Slimebaggia and gone total veto dope fiend on us. Drooling and sweating and shivering like a shaved poodle nailed to the foul pole of Coors Field during a night game in April anticipating his next delicious hit--the next delectable bill the Democratic Congress will send him so he can satiate his veto jones. Maybe there's something in the ink. Or he's using special pens. Just look at him: He's confused, unfocused. He slurs. The president of the United States slurs. That's not good. Scratching at his face, can't complete simple sentences. All archetypal symptoms of your classic burnout. So far he's vetoed a children's health insurance program, two stem cell bills, a new water project and infrastructure bill, an education, health and job training bill and one supplemental war funding bill.

Somebody in the Senate must suspect because they just thwarted his opportunity to veto another Iraq funding bill pissing the President off more than a tethered crow. He's not shy about his unnatural urges either, practically daring Congress to send him more bills that would help people instead of corporations, so he can get his grubby little veto fix and spend the rest of the day nodding off on the South Lawn in a rocker with a blanket over his legs. He's even taken to blaming others for the situation he finds himself in. Calls Congress fiscally irresponsible. This, from a man who is in the process of spending 1.5 trillion dollars on an unnecessary war. Shifting blame. Another classic behavioral trait of your garden variety hophead.

Since taking office, he's turned a $236 billion surplus into a $413 deficit making him the biggest federal spender in history. And he's preaching to Democrats about fiscal responsibility? Face it: he's a junkie. And Nancy Pelosi and Henry Reid are enablers. I'm telling you people. Keep him away from the silverware.