Allow me to offer up a few words in defense of one of the most maligned groups in America today. Citizens, who through a simple twist of fate, are routinely subjected to some of the most scathing condemnation and slanderous stereotyping in the annals of recorded history. Of course I'm talking about those unsung heroes of capitalism, the highly lubed pistons in the engine of our economy: the rich.
Isn't it time we stopped demonizing the wealthy simply because they have a couple more bucks? You've heard all the scurrilous charges: Greedy. Selfish. Thieving. Insatiable. Rapacious. Grasping. Hog- like. Power- mad. Heartless. Wear a lot of pink. And what's the deal with the no socks thing? Like they can't afford them?
People, settle down. The rich are just like the rest of us, only with access to a better class of orthodontists. They put their Egyptian silk trousers on one leg at a time, same as you and me. Besides, wasn't it God, in the Bible, who said money can't buy happiness? Although admittedly, it can be used as barter for a lot of stuff that might make you happy: like prescription drugs and bus fare and rent and ramen.
Being rich isn't all a bed of roses, you know. Its not easy having green. You can't trust anybody. That includes but is not limited to perfect strangers, casual acquaintances, prospective suitors, family members, non-profit organizations, banks, shysters, crooks and lawyers, but I repeat myself, not to mention the most dangerous threat of all, other rich people. Do the names Bernie Madoff, Warren Buffett and the Kardashians have any meaning here?
Off-shore accounts can be sooooooo confusing. The cost of private jet fuel is legalized extortion. And good housekeeping help is impossible to find. Scoundrels constantly plot to make your money, their money. Hence, rich people are forced to cower in a continual state of paranoia. But like buttery soft vicuna sport coats, it comes with the territory. Nobody robs poor people. Well, actually, rich people rob poor people, but that's different. That's business.
The main problem with being rich is never having enough money. And while liberals gripe and snipe that the rich and their corporations are sitting on trillions (no, really, trillions) of dollars waiting for the "correct political climate" to rehire workers, the fact that they employ thousands and thousands of lawyers to ferret out loopholes to keep from paying taxes goes criminally unreported. It's all about jobs.
I know what you're saying, "how can you defend these avaricious squeezebags? These scabrous zits on the forehead of egalitarianism? These predatory pus wads with the principles of diseased weasels in heat." Well, self-preservation mostly; because someday, like everybody else in this great land of ours, I intend to be rich. A major reason why Democrats find it impossible to wage a class war.
The difference is, I'd be a really good rich person. Would cheerfully pay my fair share of taxes and regularly engage little people in sparkling small talk and never stiff waiters or prostitutes no matter how lousy the service received. How rich? Filthy rich. Rich enough not to stuff the Kleenex box in my suitcase when I check out of hotel rooms. I'd leave it right there on the bathroom sink for the next guy. Hey, it's a goal.
The New York Times says Emmy-nominated comedian and writer Will Durst "is quite possibly the best political satirist working in the country today." Check out the website, Redroom.com to find out more about upcoming stand- up performances or to buy his book, "The All American Sport of Bipartisan Bashing."
Follow Will Durst on Twitter: www.twitter.com/willdurst
What is god in your life? Do you have a price? Can you be bought? Does your large amount of money put you in the heaven?
Will enough money get you to do something you know is wrong? Then you are serving money -- you will do what it tells you. Money only gives you pleasure but can’t save you in the day hereafter.
"A lawyer with a briefcase can steal more money than one hundred men with guns." - Mario Puzo, 'The Godfather'
Durst is far too generous.
And tarnishing weasels like this is just mean.
poor= good
poor should steal from rich
everybody is now poor
2. Motivation to be productive has a steep upward curve when survival and security is at stake but when it goes beyond the more elusive need for self-estime, it flattens out.
3. The notion that, the more money that one accumulates is the way they keep score is one of the most malignant ideas in our culture.and is destroying our middle class.
Biden was the poorest Senator and in fact I'm richer than he is.. well until the last 2 years of Bush..lol..
Regards
Every hundred years or so, the rich become so overconfident that they either trip up their own system and lose so much money that many of them become poor, or they push the rest of us to the wall, eternally surprised when we turn around and fight back.
Or both happen simultaneously, which appears to be the course we're on now.