Huffpost Comedy
THE BLOG

Featuring fresh takes and real-time analysis from HuffPost's signature lineup of contributors

Will Menaker Headshot

Lou Dobbs Demands to See Proof of Obama Conception

Posted: Updated:
Print

WASHINGTON DC -- CNN cable news pundit and radio host, Lou Dobbs, has joined the growing chorus of voices concerned about the legitimacy of the Obama presidency, based on lingering questions regarding the President's birth certificate and status as a natural-born U.S. citizen. "There are questions here, folks," said Dobbs on his nightly CNN program. "Questions that could be easily resolved if only the president would produce a copy of his birth certificate, a copy other than the one he already released." Not content with the document already certified by the State of Hawaii, or the notice of birth in published in the local papers, Dobbs speculated that this issue would remain relevant, until it was adequately dealt with to his satisfaction. Saying, "we need some real solid proof other than these 'documents.' A photo or footage of some kind, clearly depicting Obama's alleged parents engaging in some kind of unprotected intercourse or sexual congress while holding up an American newspaper with a date corresponding to his birth in August of 1961 would go a long way towards dispelling these rumors, but unfortunately the White House has been less than forthcoming on this matter."

Dobbs' demand for proof of the Obama conception picked up steam on the Hill, when several Republican Reps. co-sponsored a bill that would require all future presidential candidates to provide, "detailed video or photographic documentation of their mothers and fathers having sex." "This bill is about clearing up any potential doubts there may be in the future," said Rep. John Campbell (R-CA). A grainy or badly blurred copy will not do either, "As Americans we demand nothing less from our leaders than a clear, unaltered, unedited shot of the moment when their fathers' erect penis ejaculated sperm into their mothers' vagina on God-given American soil," Campbell stated, before qualifying his comment by declaring, "As far as I know, that is how U.S. children are made."

The "Where American Babies Come From Act" has gained support from Fox News and Talk Radio, including rising star Glenn Beck, who suggested setting up an independent "people's commission" of "patriots and citizens" to verify and bear witness to any sex act that could potentially produce an American president. "This is dangerous people" intoned Beck. "Mark my words, as we speak illegal immigrants and ACORN operatives are impregnating American women on foreign soil and planting forged documents ahead of time, so that in forty or fifty years they can get one of these 'children' elected president and complete their final goal of destroying liberty in America."

Proof of birth and conception may not go far enough for some, including former Presidential candidate Alan Keyes, who warned of a looming "constitutional, philosophical, and existential crisis" unless the "usurper" Obama could provide some proof of his actual existence. "My perception of the figure called 'Obama' does not necessarily correlate to an objective reality," said Keyes. "Obama's existence cannot be known unless identified through thoughts, memories, and feelings, all of which are subjective, and so it is not unreasonable to question the reality of his very being." It is likely that these questions about Obama's citizenship and alleged existence will continue until such a time as when The White House can prove something is not to someone who has experienced a reality of something that is.