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William Klein
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William Klein is a Washington, D.C. writer and political consultant who has advised candidates for President, Congress, Senate, state and local office -- some of whom have even won elections. He's been called "the consultant who came in from the cold" for telling tales on his profession and showing how people like him can be bad for democracy. His political satire and glimpses inside the spin machine can be found at his website, www.headlineupdate.com.

Blog Entries by William Klein

Jews for Al Jazeera!

Posted February 24, 2011 | 17:06:43 (EST)

I am what Grammy Hall would call a "real Jew."

At a family bat mitzvah, my recitation of the aliya shone so brightly above the rest that my girlfriend's parents declared with pride, "That's our Jew!"

I graduated first in my Hebrew School class, and...

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Student PIRGs In Naive, Pointless Effort to Thwart Corporate Persons

Posted March 8, 2010 | 13:03:10 (EST)

A new video contest sponsored by Student PIRGs (Public Interest Research Groups) is seeking entries that "show Congress that corporate persons should not be able to buy our elections."

"The very idea that corporation can now channel their immense wealth to advocate directly for or against a federal...

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"Let's Franchise Democracy!" First Corporation Running for Congress Offers Franchise Opportunity

Posted February 19, 2010 | 07:32:51 (EST)

As the campaign manager for Murray Hill Inc., the first corporation to run for federal office following the Supreme Court ruling in Citizens United v. Federal Elections Commission, I am pleased to announce that we are now offering franchise opportunities to other corporations that...

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100,000 People (and Five Supreme Court Justices) Can't Be Wrong--Corporations Are People Too!

Posted February 4, 2010 | 22:08:23 (EST)

A lot has happened since my last post about the progress of the campaign I am managing--Murray Hill Inc., for Congress.

As a blog entry on Newsweek put it,

The Supreme Court's controversial decision to lift restrictions on corporate...

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Corporate Persons Get Shout-Out From President Obama

Posted January 28, 2010 | 12:47:38 (EST)

In his State Of The Union address, Barack Obama recognized how the recent Supreme Court decision in Citizens United v. Federal Elections Commission has changed the political landscape.
In the wake of that change, the first "corporate person" to run for Congress, Murray...

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Supreme Court Ruling Spurs Corporation To Run for Congress:First Test of "Corporate Personhood" In Politics

Posted January 26, 2010 | 20:45:33 (EST)

I'm sharing with readers of the Huffington Post some exciting news.

I've agreed to serve as campaign manager for the first "corporate person" to exercise its constitutional right to run for office.

Following the recent Supreme Court ruling in Citizens United v. Federal Election Commission to allow...

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The Only Solution to Aiport Security--Fly Naked!

Posted December 30, 2009 | 16:45:01 (EST)

Breaking News...Dateline Hawaii

President Barack Obama emerged fully naked from an ocean swim to support the recommendation by his terrorism task force that all airplane passengers go through security in the nude.

"This is the only sure-fire measure to prevent terrorists from smuggling bombs or weapons in their shoes, underwear...

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How to Pass Health Care Reform - -Promise Voinovich the Moon

Posted December 17, 2009 | 15:22:01 (EST)

When the U.S. Senate took its historic vote to move the health care bill to the floor, the count was delayed so that the nonagenarian Robert Byrd could be wheeled into the chamber and Joe Lieberman could walk to the Saturday session from shul. (Oy! Would that he...

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Tiger Woods--Leave My Brain Alone!

Posted December 10, 2009 | 12:21:08 (EST)

There is only so much room in my brain, and too much of it is being taken up by Tiger Woods.

Do I really need to know that one of the golfer's chippies is a porn star whose oeuvre includes "Girl on Girl Tickle Wards," and "OMG Stop Tickling...

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Who Reads Doonesbury (Anymore)?

Posted October 3, 2009 | 14:28:23 (EST)

It gives me no pleasure to ask this, but who still reads Doonesbury?

Do you? When did you stop?

Does the strip, which is said to be running in around 1500 newspapers, still matter?

It used to be essential. In its golden age beginning in the...

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A Misanthrope's Reaction to Susan Boyle

Posted April 20, 2009 | 22:53:33 (EST)

The YouTube clip of Susan Boyle, the overnight singing sensation from the U.K., hit my office last week and everyone gathered around the only computer with speakers to watch what is by now the world's most popular ugly duckling story.

But not me. I continued reading the Huffington...

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You Can Pry My New York Times from My Cold, Dead Hands

Posted April 7, 2009 | 18:00:02 (EST)

I used to like Michael Kinsley. But I guess he is well and truly fully Microsofted now, as evidenced by his op-ed in the Washington Post on why it's OK for big newspapers to go out of business.

This topic has been getting a great...

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Last Newspaper Reader Cancels Subscription

Posted March 17, 2009 | 11:26:25 (EST)

Following the news that the Seattle Post-Intelligencer has stopped publishing a print edition to become a publication that, as the Washington Post reported "will resemble a local Huffington Post," (which itself followed similar news from the Christian Science Monitor, the Rocky Mountain News and the Washington Times--oops, sorry, that...

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The Solution to People Using Blackberrys at Meetings

Posted March 12, 2009 | 15:23:31 (EST)

It's hard not to notice the seismic shift that's taking place in the modern business meeting. There have been similar paradigm-shifters, like Powerpoint and expanding the business day to include breakfast, but this one's a doozy.

When everyone at a meeting has an iPhone, Blackberry or laptop, a critical mass...

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Son of Irtnog

Posted March 3, 2009 | 13:08:19 (EST)

In 1938, E.B. White wrote an essay entitled "Irtnog," a cautionary tale that should be a lesson to the texters and Twitterers of today--that is, if anyone paid attention to cautionary tales anymore.

"Along about 1920," White wrote, "it became apparent that more things were being written than people had...
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Obama Abolishes Commerce Department: "You Just Can't Get Good Help These Days"

Posted February 12, 2009 | 14:41:45 (EST)

Following the withdrawal of New Hampshire Senator Judd Gregg from consideration to be Secretary of Commerce, which followed the withdrawal of New Mexico Governor Bill Richardson's withdrawal from consideration to be Secretary of Commerce, which followed Chicago billionaire Penny Pritzker's withdrawal from consideration to be Secretary of Commerce, President...

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Bush Department of Education Can't Write

Posted January 26, 2009 | 16:04:05 (EST)

2009-01-23-huffpo-web-prod-www-content-generated-theblog-busad.jpg


Observed on a Washington, D.C. bus: this ad from the outgoing Department of Education, promoting the value of a college degree. I'm going to college be a proofreader.

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Obama Takes Presidential Oath Again, Again

Posted January 22, 2009 | 10:29:50 (EST)

President Barack Obama was sworn into office a third time today, and the White House announced plans to repeat the swearing-in on a daily basis.

"We feel it's a good way to start the day," Press Secretary Robert Gibbs said. "Like a meditation, prayer, or exercise routine it focuses the...

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The One-Minute Impeachment

Posted January 10, 2009 | 13:52:07 (EST)

It took 10 weeks for the House Judiciary Committee to vote to impeach Richard Nixon, and decades later, seven weeks for Bill Clinton.

But it took the Illinois House just three weeks (with time off for Christmas and New Year's) to vote out articles of impeachment for Gov. Rod...

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Dumbing Down The New York Times

Posted January 6, 2009 | 12:18:07 (EST)

It's hard being a New York Times reader these days. Old-school readers (like me) were shocked Monday morning to see a display ad for CBS running across the bottom of the front page. The Times itself reported it as "a move regarded by traditionalists as a commercial incursion into...

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