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William Lucas Walker
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William Lucas Walker is an Emmy Award-winning writer and producer whose television credits include Frasier, Will & Grace and Roseanne. He also co-created the critically-acclaimed one-hour Showtime comedy series The Chris Isaak Show.

Bill and his husband Kelly are the parents of Elizabeth and James, born in 2001 and 2005. The children were gratified by the legal marriage of their parents in 2008, an event that rescued them from a life of ruinous bastardry.

The first recurring humor column by a gay parent to appear in a major U.S. publication, Spilled Milk debuted on the front page of The Huffington Post in February 2012. The column's wide range of topics and crossover appeal have since earned it Featured Blog status in such diverse HuffPost sections as Politics, Comedy, Parents, Entertainment, Taste and Religion. Bill has appeared regularly on HuffPost Live, once with the flu.

He does not have a Wikipedia entry.

Follow William Lucas Walker on Twitter: @WmLucasWalker, @SpilledMilkWLW or Facebook: "Spilled Milk" by William Lucas Walker.

Entries by William Lucas Walker

Spilled Milk: Let's Build an App for Struggling Readers

(9) Comments | Posted May 26, 2016 | 2:59 PM

Do you have a child who hates to read? I have two. As a heedless, promiscuous lover of words, I find it hard not to see my children's resistance to reading as anything but the ultimate karmic bitch-slap.

Children resist reading for different reasons -- dyslexia, limited attention span,...

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Spilled Milk: Dishing Daphne

(18) Comments | Posted June 4, 2015 | 2:32 PM

Daphne Brogdon is teaching me to cook. On TV, in my den. In line at the grocery store, on my phone. Discovering Daphne Dishes saved my life. And my children's. This isn't mere hyperbole. The kids were starving. Daphne was my intervention.

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Spilled Milk: I'm Married, I'm Married Not

(45) Comments | Posted October 28, 2014 | 11:14 AM

Most people -- unless their last name is Clinton -- don't think about marriage politically.

Most people experience marriage as a daily series of mundane assurances: there will probably be no sex tonight; siblings fight dirty; if you land in the hospital at least one person has to show...

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Spilled Milk: Back to (Catholic) School

(24) Comments | Posted September 2, 2014 | 3:48 PM

A couple of years ago, when our boy learned his his older sister was applying to an all-girls' school, his reaction was typically profound in its levels of understanding and insight:

"That's the stupidest thing you've ever wanted, Elizabeth. Way stupider than bras. What idiot would pick a school where...

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Spilled Milk: Stritch, A Memory of Elaine

(21) Comments | Posted July 17, 2014 | 9:58 PM

I met her in November 1988. She was guest-starring on an episode of a short-lived NBC television series called Tattinger's. A one-shot playing star Stephen Collins' mother Franny, a seen-it-all former Broadway chorus girl. Cinch casting. And among the first of the many guest-starring tough mama roles that became her...

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Spilled Milk: Daddy & Me (VIDEO)

(0) Comments | Posted June 13, 2014 | 6:25 PM

Why bother with a Father's Day column when I can actually share my real dad with you? Live on tape. Friday we appeared together on a Father's Day segment for HuffPost Live, shot via webcam from my parents home in Clinton, SC. If you're in a hurry, just move the...

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Spilled Milk: Scouting for My Son's America

(84) Comments | Posted May 1, 2014 | 4:14 PM

Sometimes it's tricky explaining America to an 8-year-old.

When our daughter was that age, the trick was explaining marriage. Why even though she and fifty guests had gotten all dressed up one hot June day and witnessed her parents' very real, very legal wedding, just a few months later...

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Spilled Milk: Contracting Instagram

(4) Comments | Posted March 31, 2014 | 12:42 PM

If you've noticed a break since my last column it's because at my house we've been dealing with a medical crisis. Our oldest child recently turned 13 and like so many in this vulnerable demographic has suddenly contracted a confounding syndrome, best known among her peers by its street name:...

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Spilled Milk: Why Julie Andrews Is Better Than Ritalin

(10) Comments | Posted December 23, 2013 | 8:43 AM

Julie Andrews calms me. She just does. Talks me down, orders my thoughts when I get rattled. And I get rattled a lot during these hellish days Julie so warmly and merrily refers to as "the holiday season."

It's the ADD. Or the lah-ray-ray, as Julie might put it,...

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Spilled Milk: When Dads Cheat

(28) Comments | Posted November 13, 2013 | 4:30 PM

Adulterers relax. This isn't about you. It's uglier than that.

A couple of months ago, just before he turned 8, my boy and I attended something called a Father/Son Getaway. Any sane parent will tell you this is an oxymoron, that "weekend getaway" and offspring are conceits that automatically cancel...

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Spilled Milk: Where I'll Be Spending the Government Shutdown

(39) Comments | Posted October 4, 2013 | 8:32 AM

It's a tense moment in Finding Nemo. A brace-faced little sadist named Darla has just locked her eyes on the aquarium in her uncle's dental office. Her sole aim? To terrorize Peach, an unassuming pink starfish whose only pleasure in life is suctioning herself to the inside of a fish...

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Spilled Milk: Dads and Bras

(111) Comments | Posted August 29, 2013 | 4:16 PM

With the exception of career drag queens, men have no business in bra departments.

Sometimes, though, we're required to venture into these forbidden zones, no matter how suicidal the mission. Due to my repeated failure, even when armed with a detailed text listing the exact size my 12-year-old daughter...

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Spilled Milk: In Case of Inferno, Evacuate

(29) Comments | Posted July 31, 2013 | 10:57 AM

A couple of weeks ago a fire tried to eat our town.


You may have heard about it on TV. My mother called from 3,000 miles away to say Brian Williams had reported our evacuation on the NBC Nightly News, which I...

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Spilled Milk: I'm a Horrible, Awful Parent

(58) Comments | Posted May 7, 2013 | 4:38 PM

Serendipity is defined as the unexpected phenomenon of finding something delightful or valuable when you least expect it.

I love serendipity, especially when the something delightful or valuable is a someone. I met my husband 14 years ago in this magically haphazard way. And shortly after that, another key...

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Spilled Milk: 5 Ways Gay Marriage Is Wrecking America (and Causing Global Warming)

(70) Comments | Posted March 28, 2013 | 4:39 PM

You know those unsightly skin tags that start sprouting in your armpit like mushrooms once you turn 40? If it hasn't happened to you it's happened to your parents; don't ask to see them. After personally testing every known method for getting rid of these, I was all set to...

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Spilled Milk: What Would Dr. King Do?

(29) Comments | Posted February 28, 2013 | 2:03 PM

To celebrate my one-year anniversary writing for The Huffington Post, here is a gift for you at the end of our shortest month: my shortest column.

Guarantee: getting through it will take no more than three minutes, four if you cry at videos that feature inspiring kids, guitar music...

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Spilled Milk: It's No Name-Calling Week... You Moron

(90) Comments | Posted January 22, 2013 | 10:02 AM

Take this tip from my vault of tragic personal experience: If you're a boy who's just been surrounded by other boys on the playground and asked to name your favorite superhero, never say it's a toss-up between Batgirl and Doris Day.

There will be repercussions.

Name-calling, like a...

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Spilled Milk: Brokeback Bethlehem

(112) Comments | Posted December 23, 2012 | 10:08 PM

In early November 2005, our son James received his first formal invitation, to Sunday afternoon tea at our friend Richard's house.

As he'd only been alive for five weeks, this presented our boy with unique social challenges. He didn't know how to wear shoes, for instance. Was restricted to...

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Spilled Milk: The Komeuppance of Karma Karl

(84) Comments | Posted November 21, 2012 | 3:36 PM

"It's not FAIR!"

Ah, the scorpion sting of injustice. Alas, no parent can protect his child for very long. The first pangs can be felt as early as infancy. If you doubt this, you've never seen a woman try to breastfeed twins at Target. Stumbling on this brutal tableau...

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Spilled Milk: Strangers on a Train

(72) Comments | Posted October 4, 2012 | 11:21 AM

Did you know September was Grandparents Month? Neither did I. And now it's over, so if you have kids in the house and parents who are breathing, you blew it big time.

God will smite you, as he does nonobservant Jews and sex fetish bloggers. Unless you do something...

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