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If I Had A Food Safety Magic Wand

09/08/2010 09:28 am 09:28:18 | Updated May 25, 2011

The other morning when I was prepping in another studio to talk with another cable channel about yet another food crisis--this time the recall of a half of a billion Salmonella-tainted eggs that had already sickened at least 1,400--I was asked by a young producer, "Attorney Marler, if you had a magic wand, what would you do to make food safer?"

My first thought (to myself) was, "How the hell do I know, I'm just an ambulance chasing barracuda looking to destroy some poor helpless food manufacturing corporation that just poisoned a bunch of people, cost retail chains hundreds of millions of dollars in recall costs, and damaged its entire sector's image and sales?"

But then I thought some more. I thought about my nearly eighteen years spent dismantling those helpless corporations to secure medical expenses and lost wages for clients whose lives were destroyed, or ended, because they did something we all do about three times a day: they ate food. I thought about the ICU's I had been in and witnessed the panic in a parent's eye as a doctor coldly explained the need for kidney dialysis, or the reasons to stop life support because their child's brain had stopped functioning. I thought about the heroic struggles in rehab as a brain-injured client learned to brush her hair and teeth, or learn to walk again as the family looked hopefully on. I thought about the fear that these families have as they wonder how they will cope with a disabled future without the resources to pay for it.

And, then I thought, "Give me the damn wand!"

What To Do With A Food Safety Magic Wand

Damn, my wand arm is tired. I know I missed some things, and likely emphasized ideas that others would not, but I am tired now and still have an ambulance to chase.