Democratic Campaign Slogans I'd Like To See

Hillary Clinton:

• Clinton For President: Calm Down, It's Not Who You Think
• Hillary Clinton: Secretly Gay, But Isn't Everyone?
• Clinton In '08: Don't Stop Thinking About 8 Years Ago
• Hillary Clinton: Fighting For What 51% Of Polled Americans Believe In
• Vote For Hillary: Couldn't Fuck An Intern If She Tried

John Edwards:

• John Edwards: Beating A Dead Horse Since 1998
• Vote For Edwards: Or Just Wait Until He's Vice President
• Edwards In '08: There Are Two Americas, And Neither One's Voting For Him
• John Edwards: America's Least-Favorite Horatio Alger Story
• Vote For Edwards: Just A Regular Hard-Working American With A 6 Million Estate On 100 Acres

Dennis Kucinich:

• Kucinich For President: Christ, Again?
• Dennis Kucinich: Makes Dean Look Like Fucking FDR
• Kucinich In '08: Seriously, Why Are They Letting This Happen?
• Vote For Kucinich: Oh, That's Right, Because Hippies Can Vote
• Dennis Kucinich: Five Foot Seven, Two Divorces, Zero Chance

Barack Obama:

• Vote For Obama: It's As Close As You'll Ever Get To Making A Black Friend
• Barack Obama: Breaking Your Heart Into Millions Of Teeny, Tiny Pieces
• Obama In '08: It Does Seem A Little Soon, Doesn't It?
• Barack Obama: Like McGovern, Only Black. And Inexperienced. And A Smoker.
• Obama In '08: Because There Might Not Be Much Left In 2012





This post originally appeared on 23/6 (236.com), the new comedy news site. Click here for more satiric, of-the-moment takes on the day's top stories.

Comments

[Libsrule]

For something that is supposed to be humorous it actually comes across as pretty mean.

While I support making fun of our own candidates in a truly funny way, these seem more like Thug party dream lines they dare not say out loud but say privately.

[Kungfublood]

Casting your vote for "the lesser of two evils" Guarantees that you
1. vote for evil and
2. evil will reign forever.
Write in the name of Kucinich or Ron Paul and send the lesser evil to the same hell that you send the greater evil.
Just say get thee behind me Satan.. or some such, as you thrust with your pen for the cause of truth and humanity.

Stab evil stop evil no longer vote for evil.

[ROBERTHEATRE]

How about, NOT FUNNY.

[Tulka2]

Mad Magazine's scattershot humor was perfect for the bourgois 1950s. It never had an editorial point of view. Only children read it today.

At the risk of being told to "lighten up", may i say it is bourgois to think "hippies" is a punch line. People who think "hippies" are inherently funny, are people who would think any people outside of consummer culture are "funny". Any people who experience life rather than eat the common consummer ideologies are suspect to the bourgois point of view. Come on give it up. If you get to say "hippy", i get to say bourgois.

[Isthatall]

I just want to say that Paul, Gravel or Kucinich do not have a chance. I would love to see one of them elected just to see some change.

So you Dems should just unite behind Hillary. She isn't perfect, but she is far better than the alternatives.

Really do you want to see Rudy or Mitt as the next president?

That what you don'8t understand about the Repubs. They will support whomever wins the primary. They just don't care.

So stop the fighting before it's too late.

Please!

[Janelynne]

GW Bush: Goodfuckingbye

Guilianni: I will do for you what I did for the firefighters

[Atticus]

Department of Peace: One cabinet office surrounded by 2M square miles of reality..

[mick3]

And that's just about the candidates who are the only hope we've got. What would the writer have to say about, oh say, any of the Republican throwbacks on offer?

And Hillary could very well...you know. Could be a nice change, fresh, probably lithe, reasonably unclouded by hypocrisy. Oh, forget that last; it's the Clinton way.

As for Edwards, the fact that he has held true to his beliefs all this time shouldn't be used against him, should it. His home? Is the writer going to asses the homes of all the candidates, then? Should, if going after Edwards, not on the issues, but personally. What is this writer person, a Repub? Edward is probably the best chance we've got of salvaging anything whatsoever.

And Kucinich, a bit naive about presentation, but recall that one of our very finest presidents, James Madison, was only 5/4" and his brain worked just fine. Imagine that! Lincoln spoke in a thin, reedy voice, not that Charlton Heston fake at Disneyland; he was also awkward physically and socially. FDR was crippled and in a wheelchair.

Isn't it wonderful what the media have done for our perception of what's desirable in a president. They brought us Dubya, after all. And with the help of the writer, could very well bring more of the same.

[Animalkind]

For Kucinich:

Finally, a straight shooter

Let's have Kucinich's "Department of Peace"

Kucinich -- The only real alternative to insurance/big business rule

An alternative to a "sicko" scenario

Incidentally, Kucinich is not a "hippie" as you call him [what is that???], and how many times he has married is irrelevent -- as long as he has finally got it right. And he has. He's the only candidate who is not afraid to advocate for a universal single-payer plan. He's also the only one who did not support Bush all the way to war in Iraq

[libertyanne]

Totally unfair on Kucinich. I resent the media saying he's not SERIOUS. He's very serious. Very smart, very articulate.
He's just not very tall and not
very rich. But The Public is very fickle
and very shallow.

[douglos]

Look at the comment section following ANY Huff Post article here or on Common Dreams. The number of people that are still hung up on what someone looks like is incontrovertible proof that evolution has a long way to go before homo sapiens evolve. It is easy to jump on this immature band wagon like I did in a recent post. I apologize. As long as one would like to play this easy to enter game, just remember, tomorrows special day on the Huffington Post, all of the reader comments are going to focus on what YOU look like. Commentators are asked to please limit their observations to EXTERNAL appearances only. Any comments that refer, in any way, to what your Heart or Soul is like, will be quickly deleted.

[Truthortradition]

Most of the bloggers on this site who spend all their time trashing Hillary, have never offered any alternatives. Check out all their previous blogs.
A few will argue that we should support Obama, or Kucinich, even though we know they won't win.
Sad that too many liberals can't see daylight. Trashing Hillary is like trashing the Humane Society so PETA gets all the money.

Liberals brag about their obligation to run on facts, not fiction. Fact: Hillary will win. Fiction: Obama is ready to be President.

[flatus]

Here is a bumper sticker slogan from the days of Firesign Theater:

"Not Insane"

[swkidder]

This isn't funny ... it's clever, but clever at someone else's expense isn't the kind of humor we all need right now.

[Silknspark]

I've searched high, I've searched low,
Still haven't found,
How bloggers seem to know,
Insider information
Generals, Queens and Presidents,
Haven't been showed.
If you have a real plan,
To stop random killings,
By Hybrid car, drugs
Or machine gun drillings,
Then share it today,
And close blogger quillings.