COMEDY
03/18/2010 05:12 am ET | Updated May 25, 2011

Woman Married To Fat, Emotionally Distant Vampire Escapes Into 'Twilight' Novels

NEW ORLEANS—"When we were first married, my husband was so dark and mysterious," Sara Pastor said wistfully. "These days though, all he does is pretty much just sit around all night swilling blood and watching the game on ESPN." Added Pastor, "Edward would never do that to Bella."

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