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Xochitl Gonzalez

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What Kim Kardashian's Divorce Can Teach Us About Wedding Obsession

Posted: 11/01/11 02:14 PM ET

Kim Kardashian, I am mad at you! No, not because you made a mockery of marriage by turning it into a publicity stunt. And no, not because you spent tons of money on a lavish wedding to someone you knew it wouldn't work out with. I'm not even angry with you because you wasted a day in the life of your guests AND two nights of my life (though, you did).

I'm angry because you have the money, the business empire and all the reason in the world to throw a lavish celebration for yourself without having to cast someone as a groom, have a legal ceremony and call it a wedding.

The truth is, despite being one of the most famous women in the country right now, despite being followed by paparazzi, having a clothing line, a perfume line, two TV shows AND a sex tape, you are really not so different from a lot of young women in this country right now .... Your excitement about the glamour, attention, ability to spend lavishly without judgment and have a celebration tailored exactly to your tastes completely overshadowed the fact that you were actually embarking on the start of a marriage. Kim, despite being an actual celebrity, you were still blinded by the excitement of starring in a wedding.

Actually, ladies and gentlemen, Kim K's extravagant wedding was a slightly larger than life version of what is happening all across the country: we are WEDDING obsessed. Not marriage obsessed, but wedding obsessed. We are obsessed with the opportunity to be, the experience of, and the reminiscing about being a bride and all that it entails. From the chance to take styled staged engagement photos with matching outfits down to the getting to "splurge" on $5,000 designer gowns and red-soled Louboutins the average girl would never purchase, the wedding celebration has become in our culture an occasion for grown women to treat themselves like a celebrity for a day, the allure of which is so compelling, even REAL celebrities can't resist it!

Like all things Kardashian, Kim's wedding "event" was a heavy-handed example of something that happens all the time: despite obvious relationship issues, the groom was cast with the perfect initial to create an even more perfect Lehr & Black monogram. But, in all seriousness, many women find themselves in the position of being proposed to by Mr. "I think he's right" and getting so swept up in the excitement of being the star of their wedding production, it's easy to forget that after six hours of celebrating they are stuck with a lifetime (or 72 days) of being Mrs. "I Think He's Right". I can't help but notice the tremendous pressure put on women to cross "being married" off of their list of things to do by 30, and as of late "being married" has become nearly equitable with "being a bride." Whether that pressure be from the bride herself OR from her family to "see her walk down the aisle", after 27, I think it causes a lot of women to start to look at everyone they date as possibly being "the one". Unfortunately, that may not be "the one" to share their life with, but it might be "the one" to co-star in a stylish wedding celebration.

Which leads to my next question: If it were suddenly a universally socially acceptable custom to take 20K-100K to celebrate our 30th birthdays in a lavish and extravagant way, would we have as many weddings? Would we have as many divorces? I ask this as someone who makes a living from lavish wedding celebrations. I just wonder what would happen if we encouraged women to look forward to celebrating themselves and their accomplishments at this milestone of their life instead of fretting that they need to find a partner in order to star in a celebration? Oprah has never been married, but she's shamelessly (and deservedly) celebrated herself and others at birthdays, launches and her famous Legends ball. Who would begrudge Kim Kardashian for having the same party (without the ceremony) simply to celebrate that with little to no actual talent, she has built an empire? Certainly not I. And frankly, I wouldn't begrudge any woman, reality TV star or not, for celebrating herself vs. having a wedding if the right partner hadn't presented themselves yet.

 

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Kim Kardashian, I am mad at you! No, not because you made a mockery of marriage by turning it into a publicity stunt. And no, not because you spent tons of money on a lavish wedding to someone you k...
Kim Kardashian, I am mad at you! No, not because you made a mockery of marriage by turning it into a publicity stunt. And no, not because you spent tons of money on a lavish wedding to someone you k...
 
 
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01:29 PM on 11/29/2011
It isn't just about the big wedding but also the hen nights or should I saw hen weekends or weeks of partying. Even the wedding takes second place to that. Anyone who lives in a hen or stag weekend mecca could testify to that as hen and stag parties descend with regularity every Friday with clones pulling identical small suitcases on wheels and then come out to party wearing the same silly outfits. It's like they need an excuse to get away for the weekend.
11:49 AM on 11/11/2011
Love this article, and agree with most of it. I would argue with the point that Kim was able to throw a lavish wedding without judgement. I think that most people DO judge such an obscene display of wealth and consumption. And if they don't, they're just as out of touch as the Kardashians.
11:37 PM on 11/03/2011
Sorry "became"
11:35 PM on 11/03/2011
She basically become famous for staring in a sex tape.....enough said....
02:25 PM on 11/03/2011
Kim had enough time to reconsider getting married. Now that the wedding is history, she has no further use for Kris.
01:45 PM on 11/03/2011
First of all, for me to believe this story; I'd like to know how the journalist (Xochitl) pronounces her name.
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Xochitl Gonzalez
04:46 PM on 11/03/2011
It's pronounced So-Cheel.
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Xochitl Gonzalez
04:47 PM on 11/03/2011
also, it's an opinion piece, so there isn't really anything to believe,except that they are my opinions!
01:31 PM on 11/03/2011
Sanctity of marriage.
01:19 PM on 11/03/2011
Not even gonna read it. Dont' care about these people. Anyone who was obsessed with Kardashian's wedding or that of any other celebrity is beyond learning anything ever.
02:59 PM on 11/08/2011
The article uses the Kardashians as an example of what the author claims is a widespread obsession with marriage.

You don't have to read it, or think about the issues it raises, or learn anything new ever! (But spare us your comments?)
01:07 PM on 11/03/2011
When you have the opportunity to make 17 million for one day's work, you can't blame the girl. That is their business...to make money. And they are really good at it. Her mother recently became a minister so that they dion't have to pay taxes. REALLY !?

"What good is it if you gain the world but lose your soul ?" Hopefully, this family can find God.
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04:30 PM on 11/14/2011
OMG is THAT why she became a minister??? Wow--I have TRULY heard it all now. Disgraceful...they lust after money so much, yet God-forbid if something tragic happens to them--as often happens with celebrities...will the money matter then? You can't take it with you.
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auramac
12:49 PM on 11/03/2011
What can it teach us about Kardashian obsession?
12:49 PM on 11/03/2011
I understan Kim K, she's in it for the money and fame. It's all the people watching her (therefor supporting her) and paying attention to what she's doing that I feel sad and embarrassed for. So many more interesting things out there.
10:33 AM on 11/03/2011
women are selfish by design.....no surprise that the view a wedding as a show glorifying themselves rather than a the start of a lifelong commitment to another person..... i never want to marry and spend the one life i have trying to make some fairytale come true for some princess
03:00 PM on 11/08/2011
you aren't giving women a fair shake, or maybe you haven't met that many nice ones (or any?).
09:24 AM on 11/03/2011
Oh please, there is NOTHING this woman can show young ladies of today worth any value. Money, Greed, Porno tapes, Sexuality is king... what good is any of that for todays young woman? Oh lets not forget marruing for MONEY versus LOVE
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hornedcog
Tax Tea Now!
09:00 AM on 11/03/2011
She has made a big ass of herself.
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MissTake1989
Equal means equal, hypocrites.
06:22 AM on 11/03/2011
I read an article here the other day about why men aren't getting married.

It seems many (most) have figured out that they are the least important part of the equation to far too many women.